


Breaking Diamonds With Your Hand

by CanineKitten



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Betaed from chapter 4, Break Up/Make Up, Cousin Incest, Domestic, Established Relationship, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:31:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 51,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanineKitten/pseuds/CanineKitten
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke have been together for seven years, but now their relationship has gone into a slump. They're fighting almost all the time and they have less time for each other. To top it of, Sasuke really, really doesn't go well together with Naruto's friends, and it's becoming an almost insurmountable barrier between them. They've both made sacrifices... How much more can their relationship take?





	1. Part 1 - The Break Up

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is a break up fic and it won't be very happy for the first and second part T-T I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm putting us trough this, but I swear there'll be a happy ending! The story is two thirds done, so I'll be updating it pretty fast as well. 
> 
> I feel like I should emphasize that both Naruto and Sasuke will be with other people. I'm not gonna tell you whom, though, because I like to keep some secrets :3
> 
> I recommend listening to the song, it's truly beautiful and heartbreaking.

And the river flows beneath your skin  
Like savage horses kept within  
And all is wasted in the sand  
Like breaking diamonds with your hand

_Running to the sea_ by Röyksopp

Naruto shouldered the door open and kicked off his shoes. He heard the door click shut behind him, and then an annoyed sight.

”Please don’t tell me you’re planning to leave your shoes like that,” Sasuke said.

Naruto grumbled and set them on the shoe shelf.

”Of course not,” he said, and then he added under his breath, “Mom.”

Sasuke turned towards him. ”What did you say?”

Naruto flashed him a grin. ”Nothing!”

Sasuke sighed and put the shopping bags on the kitchen counter.

”What did I tell you to do this morning? The only thing I asked of you before you left?”

Naruto saw the messy dishes and felt like slapping his forehead. He’d totally forgotten about it.

“Your parents will be here in less than an hour.” The exasperation in Sasuke’s voice was palpable.

“I don’t know why you’re being so anal just because they’re coming over. It’s not like they care. Actually, I bet they expect it to look like a dump in here, with two guys living together and especially with one of them being me.”

“Then I want to prove them wrong. And stop saying that in normal conversation.”

“Saying what?” Naruto grinned as he realized what Sasuke meant. “Anal? You don’t like me saying anal?”

“Stop it.”

“No, but I’m curious.” Naruto leant against the counter so that he could see Sasuke’s face while he put away the groceries. “Why don’t you like me saying anal?”

Sasuke leveled him with a thunderously dark look. He had apparently reached the end of his patience.

“C’mon, don’t look at me like that…” Naruto sighed. “I’m just kidding.”

“Then stop with it.”

“You can’t take a joke, Sasuke.”

“Are you just gonna stand there and watch me work?” Sasuke snapped. He shoved a packet of lettuce against Naruto’s chest. “Make yourself useful.”

“Okay, fine,” Naruto grumbled under his breath, and got to work cutting the salad.

 

\-----

 

The evening couldn’t have been worse. Sasuke and Minato went along okay, but Sasuke had a little trouble with seeing eye to eye with Kushina. Especially when she got overprotective with Naruto, and Naruto knew how to use that.

“Sasuke won’t let me eat ramen,” he said with a pout during dinner.

Sasuke could see that Kushina took the half-joke seriously. She gave Sasuke a look like he’d just revealed that he liked to kick puppies for sport.

“You can eat as much ramen as you want to,” Sasuke said calmly, leveling Naruto with a sharp look. “But I wont make it for you.”

“It seems unfair to deny him his favorite food,” Kushina said. “When he was little, it was all he would eat for months on end.” She smiled fondly at Naruto. “We had trouble making you eat, and we started fearing for your health, but then we tried to give you ramen, and you were in love from the first bite.”

Sasuke tried hard not to sigh. It wasn’t the first time he heard the tear-dripping story of Naruto’s ramen addiction, but it didn’t change his view on the matter. He kept his thoughts to himself, though. He and Kushina had butted heads enough times. He didn’t want to ruin this family dinner.

The rest of the dinner went by in relative peace. After a few glasses of wine and yet more chit-chat, Minato and Kushina finally left. It wasn’t that Sasuke disliked them, but in-laws remained in-laws, and they could be difficult to handle when you were as different from them as Sasuke was from Naruto’s parents.

Naruto’s father tried as best he could to find a middle ground where he could meet Sasuke. He seemed to find that his area, since Sasuke was a man, and well… that was what a father did. But Sasuke had zero interest in fishing and Minato understood nothing about architecture, and that was as close as their interests ever got.

“You could have been a bit nicer to mom when she tried to give you that recipe,” Naruto said almost the second the door closed behind his parents. “She was just trying to help.”

“She was butting into my business. And why does she assume I’m the one who cooks for you? You could have taken the recipe if you wanted it so much.”

“Jeez, I’m just saying she was trying to help. Why are you so testy today?”

Sasuke sighed. He’d been at work the whole day. The architect firm that he owned together with his brother was in the finishing phase of a big project, and he’d been working long days the whole week.

“I’m tired and my head aches and when I come home I have to cook the fucking food for your parents and all they talk about is how much of a shame it is that I don’t make you ramen, and then your mother proceeds to stomp on me a little further by suggesting I’m not taking well enough care of you!”

His voice had been rising through the tirade and he found he was almost shouting. He took a deep breath.

“So don’t talk to me about being testy.”

Naruto backed off. “Fine,” he muttered. “You didn’t need to go off on me like that. A simple ‘I’m tired’ would have sufficed.”

Sasuke rubbed his temples. “I’m taking a bath,” he said.

By the time he was done, Naruto had gone to bed. Sasuke laid down on his side of the bed without bothering to check if Naruto was awake, and turned off the light.

 

\------

 

Sasuke went to the kitchen for a breather. He heard Naruto’s friends guffaw from the living room. Why did all of Naruto’s friends have to be so goddamned macho? They’d had the shock of a lifetime when Naruto first started dating Sasuke. Up until that point, they’d had no idea that Naruto was bi. But they got over it, eventually, when they figured out that Naruto was still the same guy that he’d always been. He still liked to drink beer and watch football games and talk about women even though he was dating a man. The last part was not something that went over well with Sasuke, especially not when Naruto indulged in it right in front of his face.

Like he’d just done.

Kiba had commented on a woman in one of the commercials, and then he and Naruto launched right into a lengthy debate about her figure. Sasuke knew Naruto was doing it because he wanted to seem more macho in front of his friends. He knew Sasuke was bothered by it, but after he’d had a few beers he was more inclined to forget about it for a while.

“Sasuke,” Naruto called from the living room. “Can you bring me a beer?”

Sasuke poured himself a glass of cold water and gulped it down in one go in the hopes of calming himself a bit. After drinking alcohol he found it was more difficult to put a lid on his feelings, but he didn’t want to make a scene in front of Naruto’s friends. He already knew that they liked him little enough as it was.

He opened the fridge and brought a few more beers into the living room. They were grabbed the second he put them on the table. He sat down in one of the chairs. Naruto, Kiba and Shino were hogging the couch. Shikamaru was sprawled in the other chair, while Lee and Chouji had seated themselves on the floor.

Sasuke and Naruto’s tiny living room was not nearly big enough to house so many people comfortably, but god knows they tried. Usually the game nights were held in Kiba’s spacious basement, or in Shino’s lofty apartment, but tonight Kiba’s girlfriend was having a girls night, and Shino’s flat mates were housing a party.

Sasuke kept an eye on the clock, counting down the minutes until it was plausible for him to retreat to the bedroom.

“Do you remember Hinata?” Sasuke heard Kiba say. For the moment there was a commercial break on the TV.

Naruto frowned. “No. Wait… Creepy lilac eyes? Huge rack?”

“Yes, her!”

Naruto took a swig from his beer. “What about her?”

“She had a huge crush on you in high school.”

Sasuke turned just in time to see Naruto throw him a quick look.

“Really?”

Kiba nodded. “Yeah. I hear she’s in town. Neji’s her cousin. She’s staying with him.”

“…Okay…” Naruto didn’t seem entirely comfortable with where this was going.

Sasuke kept intent eyes on him. He drank nervously from his beer.

“It’s not like I’m trying to set you up,” Kiba said, looking from Naruto to Sasuke. “Seriously, Sasuke. I’m just mentioning it as a bro, you know? Just useless info about people Naruto knew before he met you.”

Sasuke felt his patience snap. “You can just say it, Kiba,” he bit out. “You want Naruto to find himself a girl. Right?”

Kiba put both his hands up. “No way,” he said. “Nope. Why would I want you two to break up when Sasuke is such charming company?”

Sasuke had had enough. He stood. “I’m going to bed.”

The clock wasn’t even ten yet, but who cared. He couldn’t stay another second in the company of these idiots.

“Sasuke,” Naruto called after him, but he didn’t follow him to the bedroom. He heard Kiba say something along the lines of ‘prissy fucker’. He put his headphones on and set some music on to tune out their voices. He didn’t want to imagine what they were saying, much less hear it. He knew they talked about him like he was one of Naruto’s conquests. At least Kiba did. It was their way of coping with the fact that Naruto was bi, or whatever. It was what Karin had said, anyway, and she was taking a PhD in psychology.

But the worst part was that they also did it when Sasuke was in their presence. They treated him like he was a girl and made fun of his less masculine traits whenever they got the chance, like how he preferred wine over beer, or that he liked to go to theaters and nice restaurants, and that he cared about keeping their apartment clean and cozy.

Naruto had started appreciating a good wine at dinner when he was alone with Sasuke, but the second one of his friends was nearby, he pretended he couldn’t even stand the sight of it.

Sasuke felt like he was leading a double life. One life when he was alone with Naruto, and an entirely different one when they were together with his friends.

He worked for a bit on his latest project and didn’t notice the time passing by until the door to the bedroom opened and Naruto came in. He threw a look at the watch. It was past midnight.

He took off his headphones.

“Are you still up?” Naruto asked.

“Have they left?”

Naruto nodded.

“Did you clean up?”

“I’ll do it tomorrow,” Naruto said with a deep, irritated sigh.

Sasuke held his tongue although he wanted to send him packing to the living room to pick up the crap after his friends. He was simply too tired to fight. They went to bed. Lately, they’d been sleeping on each their side of the bed with a huge space between them. Now they lay in silence, facing away from each other, neither bidding the other good night.

“You could have defended me,” Sasuke said out into the darkness.

He was met by silence. He thought Naruto had fallen asleep.

“Kiba didn’t say anything inappropriate,” Naruto finally said. “You’re just being too sensitive.”

The comment stung. Sasuke knew he was the last person to be ‘too sensitive’. That was Naruto’s field.

“You don’t think trying to set you up with someone else right in front of my eyes is inappropriate?”

“He wasn’t doing anything like that. He just likes to tease, you know that.”

Sasuke sat up. “I’m sick and tired of listening to you defending him,” he hissed. “I don’t care if he was teasing. I don’t like his jokes. They hurt me. Don’t you get that? All your friends, all their ‘jokes’ and their ‘teasing’, they humiliate me!”

“Then why don’t you say anything? I don’t know what hurts you and what don’t. You just brush it off so easily, I thought it didn’t bother you.”

Sasuke huffed. He stood. “I shouldn’t have to tell you. I know you can see that their comments sting. I know you feel it too, but you say nothing because you’re afraid of losing them! But if they’re real friends, then they won’t leave you just because you defend your boyfriend!”

Naruto stood too. “What do you know about that?” he said, his voice shaking. “You don’t have to worry about losing your friends because of who you are! Your friends have known all along! Do you have any idea how hard it is to try to fit in with the guys after I got together with you? Huh?”

Naruto’s words hit Sasuke like a lead weight.

“No…” He said. “No, I don’t. Why don’t you tell me? Tell me how difficult I am, how much I’ve ruined your life. Please, go on. I’m dying to hear it.”

His voice cracked at the end, going down in a deep growl to hide the tears in his voice. He refused to cry. It would just be another mark on the list of things that made him difficult in Naruto’s eyes.

Naruto’s voice softened a bit. “I didn’t mean it that way…”

“I think that’s exactly what you meant. Do you think I haven’t noticed the way you change when you’re around your friends? The way you try to cover over all the things that I know you like, but that you’re afraid to show your friends? How you tell them that our wine collection is all mine, how all the sappy films that you love are something I force you into watching, how somehow I become the one who belongs in the kitchen the second your friends show up although you cook us breakfast in a pink apron every morning!”

“Those things are all jokes! The guys know it! But talking about our softer side is just not something we do, okay? It’s kinda implied sometimes, but you don’t flaunt it!”

“Among my friends we don’t care about that,” Sasuke said. “Juugo, whom all your friends admire because he can bench-press the bunch of them, he cries while watching fucking Bambi, and he’s not afraid to admit it.”

“Yeah, but he owns it! He couldn’t seem less like a man even if he started wearing a tutu!”

“Fucking hypocrisy,” Sasuke said through his teeth. “Juugo is not any different than you. He’s just got more guts. The whole bunch of you, you and your friends, you’re gutless. That’s the fucking problem. If you can’t even defend your own boyfriend, then what the fuck are you willing to defend?”

Sasuke strode past Naruto and out of the room.

“Sasuke!”

Sasuke pulled on his coat over his pajama pants, and slipped on his sneakers.

“Where are you going?” Naruto had followed him into the hall.

“I just need some air,” Sasuke said. He took the keys to his car.

“Wait!” Naruto pressed a hand to the door. “You can’t just leave like this! You’ve been drinking-“  
“Get away from me, Naruto,” Sasuke growled. He blinked hard to stop the tears that pressed forth. He tried to open the door, but Naruto fought to keep it shut.

“Naruto…” Sasuke said warningly.

“You can’t just walk out in the middle of a fucking conversation!”

“It wasn’t a conversation, it was an argument and I was done with it!”

“But I wasn’t!”

Naruto slammed his whole side against the door when Sasuke tried to wrench it open.

“I’m not gonna let you call me and my friends cowards and then just walk out! What the fuck, Sasuke? I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t defend you or whatever, but in my eyes you don’t need defending! You’re strong enough to take care of yourself, for fucks sake!”

Sasuke let go of the door. He was so angry he was shaking.

“I know I’m strong enough to take care of myself,” he bit out. “But why should I need to defend myself against your friends?”

Naruto just stood there in muted shock for a moment.

“You don’t,” he said, but more feebly this time.

“You just said that I do.”

Sasuke pushed Naruto aside and opened the door.

“Where are you going?” Naruto called after him.

Sasuke didn’t answer. The tears were already threatening to choke him, he couldn’t get a single word past them.

He drove to a parking lot a little away from their apartment before he allowed himself to break down. He stopped the car and let the tears flow. He blamed the alcohol for making him so emotional. He didn’t normally take this easily to tears. That was something Naruto was more prone to. If he watched a movie that touched him deeply, he’d cry openly. Though, only if he was with Sasuke.

Sasuke drove to his brothers’ place once he could see through the tears. Itachi lived forty-five minutes from Sasuke and Naruto’s apartment. Sasuke didn’t usually drop by without asking first, but this time he didn’t care. He just needed his brother.

He pressed the doorbell and waited for what felt like an eternity. Itachi’s house was huge, but it didn’t warrant for him taking so long to reach the front door.

Finally, the door opened. Itachi stood there in a loose sweater over his jeans, and his hair down. He looked like he came straight from bed. Then Sasuke realized that it was the middle of the night and that he’d most probably woken Itachi up.

Itachi looked worried.

“Sasuke? Is everything alright?”

Sasuke shook his head. He was grateful when Itachi ushered him into the house and gave him a tight hug.

“What is it?” Itachi murmured.

Sasuke extracted himself from the embrace. “I’m sorry if I came at an inconvenient time.”

“No, not at all. Here, sit down.”

Sasuke sat down on the leather sofa in the spacious living room. He gratefully accepted the tumbler of scotch that Itachi offered him. The alcohol warmed his chest and loosened his tense muscles.

“You’re in your pajamas,” Itachi said, exasperated. “Please, explain.”

“I had a fight with Naruto,” he said. “I couldn’t stay there a second longer.”

Itachi sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “What did you fight about?”

Sasuke leant his head on Itachi’s shoulder and told him everything.

“I’m so tired of playing pretend when his friends are around. I feel like I have to make myself smaller for them to fit into his life.”

“You could ask him to have less contact with them.”

“No, I can’t do that…. They’re very close.”

“How often does he see them?”

“It depends… He sees most of them at work, but… Lately they’ve been over a lot, especially Kiba, and I can’t stand him.”

Itachi rubbed his arm. “I think you should try to figure out something that suits you both. Besides, you don’t need to always hang out with them.”

“I can avoid them when they’re not in our apartment, but Naruto insists we see them at least once a week. Usually at some brown pub with a TV-screen.”

He could practically feel Itachi shiver.

“I think I should take the two of you out for some proper fun one of these days.”

Sasuke smiled against his brother’s soft cashmere sweater. “I’d love to. You and Naruto haven’t talked in a while.”

“Should we say next weekend?”

Sasuke nodded. “I’ll ask Naruto if he’s got time.” He yawned. “Can I crash here?”

Itachi nuzzled the top of his head. “Of course.”


	2. Vicious Circle

“We had an argument yesterday, and Sasuke left,” Naruto said. “He wasn’t home this morning when I woke up. It’s kinda unusual.”

“Just give him some time,” Sakura said as she tapped away on her keyboard. “He probably just needs to pout for a bit. He’ll be back home in no time.”

Naruto leant against her desk. “Sasuke’s not like that.”

Sakura shrugged. “Whatever you say.” She kept on typing.

She was working on an article about Sennin factories, which were being accused for polluting the river that ran through Konoha and used to be the main source for drinking water. Orochimaru, the megalomaniac founder of the factory was known for being a sly eel, but Sakura had made it her life goal to make him stumble in one of her interviews.

“Shouldn’t you be working on your case with the Danzo scandal?”

Naruto groaned. He was deliberately avoiding to work on it. Sometimes he wondered if Tsunade had it out for him when she gave him these boring cases. Some old, horny politician was caught having an affair with a woman thirty years younger than him. It was hardly unusual news, but the readers craved that kind of things.

“Come on, chin up,” Sakura said. “It’ll all work out in the end, I know it.”

 

\-----

 

Sakura was right. When Naruto came home, he was greeted by the smell of dinner. He threw off his jacket and his shoes and hurried into the kitchen. Sasuke was chopping vegetables to the soft tunes of Vivaldi.

“Hi,” Naruto said carefully.

Sasuke gave him a small smile. It was enough to remove the icy claw of fear that had clutched Naruto’s heart since yesterday. He gave Sasuke a hug from behind and kissed his cheek.

He didn’t ask where he’d been out of fear for starting a new argument.

“Do you need help with that?”

They made dinner together while Naruto told Sasuke about his day. Sasuke told him that Itachi wanted to take them out the next weekend. Naruto felt excited at the thought of doing something out of the ordinary. Besides, it had been ages since he talked to Itachi.

“I’d love to,” he said. But then he remembered that he’d promised to get a beer with Kiba and the guys at work on Friday. “Not on Friday, though. I’m hanging out with Kiba and the others.”

He waited for a second, judging Sasuke’s reaction. He just nodded absently while he stirred the casserole.

“Um… Would you like to come?”

He thought he noted a small hesitation in Sasuke’s movements.

“Sure,” he said.

Naruto let out a small breath of relief. Perhaps Sasuke wasn’t as angry about it all as he’d been yesterday. He’d been drinking so that could have been making him overly irate. He felt much more at ease during the dinner, but he noticed that Sasuke was more quiet than usual.

Sasuke excused himself right after dinner and went to take a shower. Naruto put away the rest of the dinner and set the casserole in the sink. He put their plates in the dishwasher and felt very proud of himself.

When Sasuke came out of the shower, Naruto was immersed in CoD with his headphones on, co-oping with Kiba. 

“Hey,” he said when Sasuke came into the room. He took off his headphones.

Sasuke sat down next to him.

“Whom are you playing with?”

“Kiba… Oh, wait a second.” He put his headphones back on. “Sorry man. I didn’t see that sniper.”

Kiba cussed him out. Naruto chuckled. “I was talking to Sasuke.”

“Oh… I see. _The boyfriend_ is more important than this.”

Naruto rolled his eyes.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said. “I need to talk to you.”

“Can it wait?”

Sasuke sighed. “Yeah, why not.” He got up and went to the kitchen.

“Alright, are you ready to go in?” Kiba said.

“I’ve got your back.”

 

\------

 

“Hi, babe.” Naruto embraced Sasuke from behind. Sasuke been working on his drawing board, creating those incredibly detailed and intricate drawings he’d gotten so much credit for at college.

“You wanted to talk?”

Sasuke shoved away from the drawing board and indicated for Naruto to sit down.

“You know that I don’t like your friends much,” he started off without further ado. “But I know that you like them a lot, heavens knows why, so I put up with them.”

Naruto felt like protecting his friends - what right had Sasuke to speak of them like that? - but Sasuke plowed on.

“I’ve agreed to seeing them once a week, but that’s my limit. I’d appreciate if you could limit the amount of time they spend here.”

“So… They can’t drop by the apartment, then?” Naruto said with an incredulous laugh. “Or show their faces when you’re close to me? Are you saying I have to hide my friends from you?”

“No,” Sasuke frowned. “Of course they can stop by. Just not so often and preferably when I’m not here. And I expect you to clean up after yourselves, because I’m not doing that anymore.”

“I cleaned up after us yesterday!”

“No,” Sasuke snapped. “I found beer bottles under the couch when I came home, and the carpet was full of bits of chips!”

“I don’t get why you’re so fucking uptight about cleanliness.” Naruto stood and ran a hand through his hair in agitation. “I mean… I would have vacuumed when I came home!”

“Would you really?” Sasuke said coldly.

Naruto shook his head. He started pacing back and forth. “I get that you’re a neat freak. I get it, okay? But you can’t expect me to be the same way! I’m not like you. I vacuum maybe… once a week, while you do it every fucking day! It’s not necessary! If you want me to do it, fine, I will, but I’ll never be as fastidious about it as you want me to be!”

After he was done with his rant, Sasuke just stared at him for a long moment.

“I’m not your fucking mother. I don’t care when or how you do it, but I expect you to do your part of the workload. Is that too much to ask?” Sasuke sighed. “This isn’t about house duties anyway. I’m just asking that this place, our apartment, can be a place where I can feel as much at home as you. Of course your friends can drop by, but… It’d just be nice if it wasn’t so often-“

“And how often is that, exactly?”

“I don’t know,” Sasuke bit out. He sounded exasperated. “I just know that it has been too much lately. Your friends have been taking time away from what little we have for each other. They were here this weekend, and the one before that too. I’ve been throwing away beer bottles and cleaning up after you like some sort of maid while you’ve been glued to the TV, and -”

“Goddammit, I didn’t expect you to do that! I would have cleaned up after they left…”

“I didn’t do it for you! I did it for me because I can’t stand the smell of old beer on the carpet! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve sent that carpet to the cleaner?” Sasuke plowed on before Naruto could try to remember if he’d even noticed that the carpet was gone. “And while you’re sitting there, slobbering beer with your friends, I’m trying to work, sitting holed up in this fucking room while I’m listening to music to try and drown out that incessant cursing from Kiba!” He was breathing hard now.

“And did you know that I actually pick up what he says about me?”

“He doesn’t say anything bad about you! He’s just-“

“Teasing?” Sasuke’s voice was like the snap from a whip. “Do you seriously call it teasing when he basically calls me a woman, and not in a good way, but in a way that shows that he has absolutely no respect for me?”

“He has never called you a-“

“Is it teasing when he complains about how I’ve ruined you? When he tries to tell me where I belong? When he revels in the fact that you don’t care enough about me to tell him off when he’s obviously trying to humiliate me right in front of your face?”

“Kiba wouldn’t try to do that!” 

Naruto couldn’t believe that Sasuke was accusing his friend of being so callous. Kiba could be a little rough around the edged, but he was a kind guy. He couldn’t believe that he’d do any of the things Sasuke was accusing him of!

Sasuke shook his head in disbelief.

“Forget about Friday,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m not coming to another stinking pub just to get side eyed if because I’m not glued to the TV.”

“Fine,” Naruto said.

They glared at each other.

“Fine!” Naruto repeated. He strode back out into the living room. Why did every conversation they had lately turn into an argument? He rubbed his temples. He needed some fresh air.

 

\-----

 

Sasuke heard the door slam shut after Naruto, and sank down into his chair. Shit. He hadn’t meant for it to turn into an argument. He’d tried to follow Itachi’s advice and set up some rules for himself, but instead he ended up igniting both of their tempers.

He slammed a hand down on the table, and showed a bunch of drawings down on the floor in frustrated anger.

Naruto didn’t come back until much later in the evening. Sasuke sat on the couch and waited for him when he came back. When Naruto saw him sitting there, he didn’t smile or apologize. He just looked grim. He shrugged off his jacket. It was soaked through. He’d been caught in the downpour that started up about an hour ago.

Sasuke had thought about calling him to hear where he was, and ask if he should pick him up or bring an umbrella and meet him halfway. But instead he’d let the phone drop. The truth was that one side of him felt Naruto deserved to get drenched through. It wasn’t his problem. Naruto didn’t need to be mothered. He was a grown up man. He could manage on his own.

“You smell of cigarettes,” Sasuke said when Naruto came closer.

Naruto scoffed. “Are you gonna yell at me for that too?”

The words struck a nerve. He had felt like the big bad wolf and now Naruto chimed in with his own thoughts.

“No,” Sasuke said. “But I know that you only smoke when you’re agitated.”

Naruto shrugged. “I’m going to bed.”

He went straight to the bedroom. “Aren’t you showering first?” Sasuke called after him. “Your hair is wet.”

Naruto turned on his heel. “I’m so sorry if his royal highness doesn’t like my filthy hair mussing up the sheets. What about I lie on the floor like the dog you think I am?”

Sasuke felt shocked by Naruto’s words. Was that how he thought he viewed him?

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What _did_ you mean, Sasuke?”

Sasuke rose from the sofa. “Is that really how you believe I think about you?”

Naruto shrugged. “I don’t really know, do I? I mean, if you hate my friends so much, that must mean you hate a part of me too, right? Because I am like them, whether you like it or not, and you can’t change that about me.”

Sasuke stood there, speechless. Naruto seemed to wait for a comeback, but when it wasn’t forthcoming he turned his back on Sasuke and slammed the door to the bedroom shut.

Sasuke went to bed a little later. He hoped Naruto would be asleep by then. The bedroom was dark and quiet. Sasuke undressed without turning on the light, and laid down with his back to Naruto, as far away from him as he could. He lay awake for a long time, listening intently to any sounds from Naruto. Naruto was completely quiet. Even his breathing was quiet, which meant he was awake too.

 

\-----

 

Naruto was up long before Sasuke. He’d left by the time Sasuke was done in the bathroom. The kitchen was squeaky clean. No leftovers from breakfast were present. Naruto must really be mad. Sasuke made himself a strong cup of coffee, he would need it because he’d been twisting and turning the whole night, and made himself a simple tomato sandwich.

“You look tired,” Itachi commented when Sasuke arrived at work. “Still not on good terms with Naruto?”

“I managed to start a fight again yesterday,” Sasuke said.

Itachi gave him a sympathetic look.

“Do you want to come over to my place tonight? I’ll make us dinner.”

Sasuke nodded gratefully. That was just what he needed now.

Around lunchtime he sent Naruto a message saying he’d be eating dinner at Itachi’s after work. He got no reply.

Itachi was an excellent cook. He had always been extremely ambitious, and whenever he took to something he had to excel at it. When they were younger it had annoyed Sasuke. He’d always felt keenly how Itachi’s shadow loomed over him, especially in the way his father always praised Itachi but never said as much as a word about Sasuke’s achievements. But as he grew older, he too received the much-needed attention from his father that he craved, and after a while he grew out of the brotherly competitiveness.

At one point Itachi had decided he wanted to learn how to cook, so he’d started taking a lot of classes. Most of Itachi’s ability to excel at everything was due to his incredible will to work. He seemed to have about ten times more energy than any ordinary person. So while he was still building up his firm, he also took cooking classes and ended up becoming an amazing cook. He could probably have opened his own restaurant if he wanted to.

Instead he enjoyed trying out every restaurant and fast-food place in the entire city, and knew the best places to go for every need.

Tonight, though, he was cooking for Sasuke. The food was delicious, as always. Sasuke realized how mediocre the food he and Naruto ate on a daily basis was. They should probably try some new recipes, or go to a nice restaurant… Maybe that was what was lacking in their relationship at the moment: something new that could take them out of the same old, well-trodden patterns.

After dinner they watched a movie on the huge TV in Itachi’s living room. His brother didn’t pry into Sasuke’s business, but waited until Sasuke started talking, and gave advice where they were due.

“How can I communicate with him when everything I say is taken the wrong way?”

Sasuke said. He’d had a bit too much wine. The living room was spinning slightly. He’d maybe also had a cocktail at some point… or three…

“It’s very difficult to find the balance between what you need and what he needs. You’ve just got to figure out where your limits go, and if he can’t meet them then you’ll just have to come to an agreement you both can live with.”

“And if we don’t?”

Itachi shrugged. “Then I guess you’ll have to decide how much you’re willing to sacrifice for him.”

Sasuke mulled that over for a long time. “You’re saying… If we can’t come to an agreement, I should leave him?”

“I’m saying no such thing.” Itachi frowned. “Leaving should be the last option. I know the two of you. You’ve been dating since you were twenty. That’s seven years. It’s much longer than any relationship I’ve ever managed to keep together, so there must be something there worth saving. You didn’t stick it out this long just to let it go down the drain.”

Sasuke stared deeply into his glass of cognac – when had he stared on the cognac?

“ _Seven_ years… How the fuck did I manage to stomach his friends for _seven_ years?”

Thankfully, Kiba had been away for most of the time in six of those years while he’d studied to become a veterinary. He’d started the education when he was nineteen, and finished when he was twenty-six. It was only for the past year that he’d started becoming a bother and hogging Naruto all the time.

“One would think he had better things to do with a job like that,” Sasuke muttered.

Itachi caught on despite the fact that Sasuke had been talking to himself.

“It’s Kiba who bothers you the most?”

“Yes,” Sasuke bit out. His hand clenched around the tumbler. “He does everything in his power to humiliate me in front of everyone. Everything I say is wrong, everything I do is wrong, and Naruto isn’t lifting a finger to defend me. How do I defend myself against passive aggressive shit like that? If I react to what he says, I’ve lost because I’m overreacting and seeing things that weren’t there. If I do nothing, then I’m just allowing him to run me over.

I know Naruto’s friends don’t like me much,” Sasuke slammed the tumbler down on the lacquered wooden table. Itachi winced. “But Kiba is making it worse by enforcing their negative opinion of me.”

“Have you told Naruto this?”

“Yes, I did. Today. He got pissed. Said Kiba would never do such a thing.”

“… If Naruto got pushed… Do you think he would choose you over his friends?”

“Obviously he wouldn’t.”

“But what if he really got pushed…”

“Are you suggesting I should put that to the test?”

“What are your options? To suck it up and keep living half a life?”

“I don’t know…” Sasuke shook his head. “I could confront Kiba, I guess.”

The thought wasn’t tempting. He had a feeling Kiba would laugh in his face, and then everything would get worse afterwards because he’d seem like a fainthearted little bitch.

“I can’t tell you what the best option is, because I don’t know,” Itachi said. He seemed honestly aggravated about that fact. “Look at my relationship history… every one of them fell apart because I could never understand when or how I hurt my partners. Now I can look back and see that they all left me because I put my job above them. But back then I didn’t understand it. I never tried to mend my relationships, so I don’t know what you can do to mend yours. There’s only one thing that I’ll strongly suggest based on my own experience, and that’s to talk it out.”

“I already tried that,” Sasuke muttered miserably.

“Then try harder,” Itachi said. “Don’t give up.”

 

\-----

 

Sasuke came home to a quiet apartment. The clock was ten fifty. He’d expected Naruto to be home. He found no note that explained where he was. He thought about calling him, but then he figured it was better to leave him alone for a bit. Maybe he’d just gone to the shop at the corner.

Sasuke took a shower and tried to silence the worried little voice in the back of his head that kept insisting that this was unusual. Normally, Naruto didn’t stay angry for long. But he hadn’t answered the message Sasuke sent him earlier, and now he wasn’t home.

Worry won over. When Sasuke got out of the shower and Naruto still was nowhere to be seen, he called him. The call went to voicemail. Now Sasuke knew that Naruto was avoiding him.

He sent him a message.

_I’m home now. When will you be back?_

Then he went to bed and fell asleep before he got a reply.

 


	3. Last Chance

“What did you and Sasuke fight about?” Kiba asked.

Naruto shrugged. “Just how much time I spend with you guys. I guess he feels left out or something… I don’t know…”

Kiba had been leaning back on the couch with his feet on the table, but now he put them down on the floor and leant forward. He placed his beer on the coffee table.

“Sounds to me like he’s trying to control you.”

Naruto shook his head. “No, he… No. He’s not like that.”

“He seems to think everyone’s below him… He’s probably used to getting things his way, with being basically an only child and a rich one at that.”

“Itachi-“

“Itachi acts like his protector. Do you think he’d ever not give his little baby brother whatever he points at?”

That was true… Sasuke had always been getting things easily in life.

“I’m just saying,” Kiba continued, “That I know his type. My ex girl friend was like him. She always tried to control me, she never thought anything I did was right, and I was never good enough for her family… Leaving her was the best thing I ever did.”

Naruto mulled that over.

“Sasuke is not like her,” he said at last.

“Here’s a funny thing: I used to defend her against everyone I knew. If someone as much as hinted towards something being amiss with her, I got defensive. But after I left her I realized I had been an idiot. What my friends said was true. She wasn’t good for me.”

“… Are you saying Sasuke isn’t good for me?”

Kiba shrugged. “I’m just saying it’s kinda suspicious that he wants you to stop seeing your friends. That’s usually a strong indicator that someone is trying to control you.”

Naruto couldn’t quite make the picture Kiba was painting of Sasuke, fit with the Sasuke he knew. Sure, Sasuke could be overly controlling at time. But he wasn’t manipulative, like Kiba’s ex had been. Still… It made Naruto very uncomfortable when Sasuke tried to steer him in a certain direction all the time, especially when it came to his friends. He liked his freedom. He didn’t want to become one of those guys who just let his partner decide everything.

He yawned. His head was starting to ache. He’d had a few beers too many at the get-together at work, and then he’d ended up visiting Kiba and drinking with him.

He looked at the clock.

“Oh, shit…”

It was ten past three. And he had a message from Sasuke.

He didn’t feel like going home just yet. He was still a bit uncertain about him and Sasuke, and now he was a bit drunk and who knew what’d happen if he spoke to Sasuke now.

“Can I sleep over?” he asked Kiba.

“Sure. Anytime, man.”

He sent Sasuke a hurried text and fell asleep the same second he put his head down on the pillow on Kiba’s couch.

 

\-----

 

When Sasuke woke up, the space next to him was empty. He had one new message on his phone. It was from Naruto. Sasuke drew a relieved breath. He’d started worrying about him.

_Took a few beers after work. I’ll be sleeping over at Kiba’s._

The message was short and void of any endearments. It was unusual. Sasuke realized he wouldn’t be seeing Naruto again until after work. Was this Naruto’s way of punishing him for not coming home for dinner yesterday? They had both been a bit vulnerable and agreeing to eat at Itachi’s had possibly been an ill-timed decision. Naruto was all about quality time with loved one’s and dinnertime was his sacred time.

By skipping it, Sasuke had opted out on their chance to talk things over. Which had honestly been deliberate, but mostly because he just couldn’t face another argument so soon.

He started writing a new message.

_I’m sorry about yesterday…_

He deleted it.

What should he say? That he was sorry he didn’t like Naruto’s friends? That he was sorry for what he said? He wasn’t. What he’d said was the truth.

He ended up not answering the message.

 

\-----

 

Naruto was tired when he came home that night. He’d gone straight to work from Kiba’s that morning, hung over and in the same clothes as yesterday. He’d really taken it out together with the guys from work last night. No one else had gotten as drunk as he did, and they’d apparently had a blast filming all the stupid things he’d done. One of their favorites was a video of him kissing Sakura.

It had probably been for fun, Naruto couldn’t remember, but that didn’t make it less horrendous. If Sasuke saw it… at the turbulent time their relationship was in now, it could break them. He’d begged Ino to delete it, but she had refused.

As a matter of fact, his coworkers had seemed stoked about it. Both Shikamaru and Chouji had clapped Naruto on the back, commending him for his conquest.

“I’m not interested in her,” Naruto had protested. 

“Didn’t seem that way yesterday,” Ino had chimed in with a wink.

“I have a boyfriend,” Naruto bit out through his teeth. “It was a mistake.”

“You know,” Ino had said, whipping her long ponytail over her shoulder. “Sasuke is hot and all, so I get why you’re on your knees for him, but maybe you should try someone on your own level, you know? Instead of running after stuck-up architects who can’t be bothered to give your friends the time of his day.”

It was a known fact that ever since the first time she and Sasuke met, and Sasuke acted like his usual cold, detached self, she had disliked him. She also rooted for a budding romance between Naruto and her best friend, Sakura. She never missed a chance to tell them that they were meant for each other.

Naruto couldn’t see why. All they ever did was bicker and steal each other’s coffee. They acted more like siblings than potential love-interests.

Naruto sunk down on a chair by the kitchen table. Sasuke was still at work and their apartment was almost eerily quiet. He knew he should tell Sasuke about the kiss, but right now it would not be a good idea.

He rubbed his temples. He couldn’t believe he could be so stupid as to make out with someone else… and with Sakura of all people. She was his friend. Thankfully she’d taken it nicely and brushed it away along with Naruto’s excused. She even laughed a bit when their coworkers teased them about it.

“It was nothing,” she said. “We were arguing about who was the best kisser, and Naruto just had to go and prove it.”

Naruto took a shower and changed out of his stinky clothes. Afterwards he felt remotely better. As he was making himself lunch, the doorbell rang. It was Sakura.

“Hi…” she said a bit shyly. “Um, I… I just wanted to make sure everything was okay after… well… I feel a bit guilty about what happened. I hope you didn’t get into trouble because of it…?”

She offered Naruto a small basket. “I made cookies. Just… um… To say sorry, I guess.”

“Sakura, you didn’t need to do this,” Naruto said. “We were both drunk, and no harm is done. Actually, it was my fault. I never think before I do something.”

He chuckled. That was what Sasuke always said. When Naruto had been drinking too much and did something stupid, he’d chide him gently and brush his hair away from his forehead.

‘You never think.’

Sasuke was right. Naruto didn’t think.

“Come in,” he said.

Sakura went into the living room. She had never been in their apartment before.

“Is Sasuke home?” she asked.

“No, he’s probably still at work.”

Naruto checked the clock. Sasuke wouldn’t be home for at least an hour.

“Will you get in trouble?” Sakura asked when she’d sat down on the couch.

Naruto set the cookies on the table.

“No, of course not,” he assured her.

Not as long as Sasuke never heard about it, anyway.

“Do you want something to drink? Coffee?” he asked.

“Oh, yes please. Coffee would be nice.”

“I can tell Sasuke that it was all a game,” she said when Naruto came back with the coffee. “If you get in trouble, I mean.”

Why did everyone seem to think that he needed help ‘getting out of trouble’ when it came to Sasuke?

“I’ll be fine,” he said.

“Are you gonna tell him?”

“Well…” Naruto hesitated. “Truth is, we’ve been in sort of a rough patch lately. It would be a bad idea to bring it up right now.”

“Oh, I see… I’m so sorry, I should never have let it happen. I wasn’t as drunk as you, but I just…” she blushed a little and looked down at her hands that were cradled around the coffee mug. “I got a bit caught in the moment.”

“You don’t need to apologize. It was just as much my fault.”

Sakura finally seemed reassured. They talked for a bit longer, until Sasuke came home. Then Sakura jumped up from the sofa as though she’d been stung and excused herself. She barely greeted Sasuke before she hurriedly left.

“What did she want?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged. “She just wanted to chat a bit. Or does she need your approval before visiting?”

Naruto couldn’t keep the small sting out of his voice.

He was pleased to find that Sasuke looked regretful.

“Listen,” he said and put his briefcase down on the chair. “I didn’t mean to say anything bad about your friends. I just wish we could talk together without getting fired up immediately.”

Naruto snorted.

Then he sighed. “I agree to that.”

Sasuke came a little closer and gave Naruto a gentle peck on the lips.

“How was your day?” He asked. He shrugged out of his coat. “Did you have fun yesterday?”

Naruto tried to deduce if there was sarcasm in Sasuke’s tone, but he seemed sincere in his interest.

“Yesterday was fun,” Naruto said. He wanted to talk as little about it as possible. “But I was sort of hung over at work.” He pulled a face. “My head is still a bit achy.”

“Do you want pain killers? I think I have a packet in my bedside drawer.”

“Naw, I’m fine. What about you? How was Itachi?”

“Same as always,” Sasuke said with a shrug. “It was nice seeing him outside work for a change. It’s been too long.”

He took off his coat and went to the kitchen. Naruto followed him.

“Hey, about that night out with Itachi. What do you say to Saturday?”

Sasuke smiled. “I think that would be nice.”

 

\-----

 

It was Friday night, and Naruto was getting ready to go out with his friends. He wasn’t sure if Sasuke wanted to come or not. He didn’t ask in fear of starting a new argument. But when Sasuke came into the bathroom wearing those tight jeans that made his ass look so incredibly good, and a black sweater that he usually reserved for their nights out, he knew that he was coming with.

Naruto bit his lip when Sasuke got out the eyeliner. During the first few years they knew each other, Sasuke had unabashedly used make-up. It was one of the things that drew Naruto to him. It set him apart from others, as well as making him look even more amazing than usual. Over the years, he’d stopped using it outside of when he went out. Naruto assumed it was because he needed to look professional at work.

Then he stopped using it altogether. Naruto had thought it was for the best, since he knew his friends thought it was a bit weird. Now he couldn’t help but wonder if Sasuke was putting it on as some sort of protest. But he didn’t say anything.

He stopped Sasuke before they left the apartment only to kiss him. He felt some of the desire, which earlier in their relationship had been so frequent, rekindle at seeing Sasuke like that. He pushed Sasuke up against the jackets hanging next to the door in the hallway. After the initial surprise, Sasuke molded into the kiss.

“We need to go,” he breathed against Naruto’s lips.

Naruto nodded, but kissed him again.

“… Naruto…” Sasuke sounded reluctant, but he still pushed Naruto away.

“I know, I know… You’re just so irresistible.”

Sasuke snorted. “If I knew this was all that was needed to get you going…”

Naruto squeezed his ass. “You know it is.”

 

\-----

 

Meeting at the bar was just as suffocating as Sasuke had anticipated. Still, he endured. Naruto’s artist friend was there too. Sai and Naruto had met after Naruto and Sasuke had started dating. He was gay, Sasuke was certain of that much, and even more of a social outcast than Sasuke.

He guessed that explained why Naruto was drawn to him.

Kiba was there, of course, as well as Lee, Tenten, Neji and Shino. A new addition to the group was Hinata, Neji’s busty cousin. She was extremely shy, but somehow she had still managed to place herself between Naruto and Sasuke.

Neji was fond of discussing politics, and Kiba was equally fond of arguing with him seemingly just for the sake of arguing. Normally Sasuke would have joined the conversation but tonight he didn’t feel like it. What he actually wanted was to dance with Naruto. Go to a club and grind on the dance floor before going home and having a wild fuck. Like back in the old days.

But the bar was a stuffy, smoke drenched, pool joint with the occasional live performance. Tonight, though, the only sound that came out of any speakers was the voice of the commentator of the football match on the TV in the corner. Lee, Kiba and Naruto had their eyes glued to the thing. Sasuke hoped to get some sympathy from Neji, but he was probably accustomed to their obsession so he said nothing. Hinata sat timidly on the edge of her chair, twisting the long sleeves of her sweater in her small, manicured hands.

If she hadn’t been hogging the seat next to his man, Sasuke might have taken pity on her and engaged her in conversation. She’d probably be ten times more interesting to talk to than the rest of that bunch. Instead he stood and touched Naruto’s back as he said close to his ear, “I’m going out to get some air.”

Naruto just grunted.

Sasuke stood outside for a while, hoping Naruto would come out so they could make out for a bit. Naruto never as much as kissed him when they were in the vicinity of his friends. No wonder they tried to set him up with someone else. They probably thought there was no spark between them. Maybe there wasn’t anymore. Sasuke tried to remember the last time they’d gotten lost in each other, not caring about the outside world, but he couldn’t recall.

Had they become just another washed out, boring, half-assed couple that had nothing left except the comfort of old habits?

Sasuke realized he couldn’t stay at that bar a second longer. He took a deep breath before he went inside to let Naruto know he was going home. To his surprise, Naruto said he’d go with him.

On the way back home they got talking about Hinata.

“She seems sweet,” Naruto said.

“Neji is fucking her,” Sasuke said.

“What?” Naruto laughed. “No way. They’re cousins.”

“Why should that stop them?”

“Uh… Because they’re family?”

“They’re not that closely related.”

“So you honestly think Neji and Hinata are… together?”

Sasuke shrugged. “He kept giving her glances, and he looked really concerned when she ended up next to you. When we left, he moved to sit next to her and put his hand on her waist.”

“Okay, when you say it like that it kinda sounds like there’s something more between them. But seriously… fucking?”

“That hand seemed very familiar with touching her.”

Naruto put his arm around Sasuke.

“Hey,” he said. “Remember when we used to buy tons of chocolate on our way home from parties, and you always got so sick the day after you had to practically camp next to the toilet bowl?”

Sasuke shuddered. “Don’t remind me.”

“For some reason, dark chocolate always makes me really horny after that time… you know…”

Sasuke gave him an amused look. “Are you saying you want to stop for some dark chocolate?”

 

\-----

 

They bought some chocolate and ate it together with a glass of wine.

“I wonder when we became so mature,” Naruto mused. He ran his hand down Sasuke’s thigh. They were sitting on the couch. Sasuke was leaning back against some pillows, his legs resting on Naruto’s lap.

Naruto’s hand continued up Sasuke’s leg, to the zipper of his pants. He nudged it down, slowly, as though asking permission. He rolled Sasuke’s sweater up to his chest, and broke off a piece of chocolate that he placed on Sasuke’s abdomen. He let it melt before he leant down and ran the tip of his tongue through the gooey mess.

Sasuke shivered when the moist tongue met his sticky skin. He rolled his hips in an attempt to create friction. Naruto cupped his dick and rubbed it.

He messily lapped up the chocolate, and afterwards he thoroughly cleaned up Sasuke’s skin with his tongue. He made sure he paid attention to the area around Sasuke’s naval, where he knew he was sensitive. Sasuke’s toes curled into the couch cushion.

“Do we have any lube?” he panted.

Naruto frowned. “I think I saw a bottle in the bathroom.”

He went to get it.

Sasuke shimmied out of his pants as Naruto settled between his legs. He grabbed both of Sasuke’s legs and nearly pressed his thighs down against his chest. Sasuke pushed his hands away.

“Don’t do that,” he said.

Naruto tsked. “What did I do now?”

“You always push my legs up like you’re performing a fucking operation. I don’t like it.”

“You’ve never complained before,” Naruto groused.

He pressed two lubed fingers against Sasuke’s asshole. Sasuke flinched.

“Wait.”

Naruto sighed. “What is it now?”

“Your hands are cold!”

“Do it yourself, then!”

Naruto threw him the lube.

Sasuke muttered under his breath as he lubed his fingers and rubbed his hands together to warm the lube.

“I heard that,” Naruto said.

“Good,” Sasuke bit out.

He started preparing himself gently, since he hadn’t been doing it for a while. Naruto watched intently, resentment forgotten. He took out his cock and started stroking himself. Sasuke felt his asshole relax as desire built up. Watching Naruto fondling himself made him harder too. He started stroking himself as he continued the prepping.

After barely fitting two fingers he was already too impatient.

He pulled the fingers out with a pop and laid back. Naruto moved closer and pressed his cock to Sasuke’s ass. He leant forward and captured Sasuke’s lips as he pushed inside, like he always did. He liked to feel the connection both places at the same time.

Sasuke wasn’t as tight as he’d used to be. He felt it in the way Naruto slipped in so easily. He remembered when he used to have trouble fitting Naruto. It had felt so good when they started moving smoothly together, the fit on the verge of being too tight, but the stretch feeling heavenly.

Naruto felt it too. He pushed all the way in on the second thrust. Sasuke held his breath and tensed. It was too deep too soon. When Naruto didn’t seem to notice, he held a hand to his chest.

“Not so deep,” he breathed.

Naruto adjusted. He thrust a little too shallowly, but Sasuke didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to nag. He endured the choppy thrusts while he felt his desire wilt.

When had they come so out of sync?

He carded his hands through Naruto’s hair. He simply wasn’t feeling it. Before, the mere knowledge of having Naruto’s hard cock close to his ass would be enough to have him hard and panting. Now he could barely find pleasure in the familiarity of Naruto’s embrace. The drunkenness made Naruto even more sloppy than usual, so the act in itself gave Sasuke nothing. He started stroking himself in order to get off.

Finally Naruto shuddered and then it was over. Sasuke stroked himself faster until he came too, making a mess on his own stomach and on the shirt that Naruto was still wearing.

“Damn,” he muttered. “Sorry.”

Naruto shook his head. “S’fine.”

He sat up and tucked himself in. Sasuke was left feeling disheveled and used, even though he had no reason to. He took off his sweater and went to the bathroom where he took a shower. When he came out Naruto had already gone to bed. He was asleep, his breathing deep and even.

Sasuke read for a while in the hopes of getting drowsy enough to sleep. The clock was half past three. He should have been tired enough to fall asleep immediately. Instead he lay awake long after he turned off the light, listening to Naruto’s even breathing.

 


	4. The Last Straw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is betaed by heartsns ^^

“It’s not like it used to be,” Sasuke said.

Karin snorted. “What relationship is?”

“This is different. We’ve been together for seven years, but I can’t remember feeling this way until recently.”

“Excuse me for being so blunt,” Suigetsu said without the faintest trace of regret. “But how often have you two had sex lately?”

Sasuke had to think about it for a while.

“I just need an estimate,” Suigetsu added, apparently worried Sasuke was trying to find the exact number.

“Until yesterday, I don’t think we’ve had sex for… at least a month.”

Karin gasped dramatically. “A month? How did you survive? Akio and I have sex at least every other day. Even though we’ve been doing nothing but quarreling, we still need that little sexual touch up.”

Suigetsu rolled his eyes. “TMI, Karin. And we’re not talking about you right now.”

“It doesn’t need to mean it’s the end of the world,” Juugo said. “It depends on the people in the relationship.”

“A month is unusual for us… I think…” Sasuke tried to remember how often they used to sleep together when their relationship wasn’t this rocky.

In the beginning they’d been inseparable, but when the feelings calmed down a bit they still had sex pretty often. In the later years it could go a week or so between each time if they were in stressing periods at work, but they usually made up for it when they had more time for each other.

Lately they had stopped setting aside that time for each other.

“I say it’s a major red flag,” Karin said. “The two of you don’t strike me as tame. We basically had to pry you two apart before you started humping in public when we went out together back in the days.”

“We were in our early twenties,” Sasuke said. “Sex was on our mind constantly. We’ve probably just grown out of it.”

“Naw,” Suigetsu said. “A healthy man doesn’t just grow out of that. We can calm down, fine, I’m down with that, but no one calms down so much they’re fine with having sex once a month. Not until they’re seventy, anyway.”

“Who initiates?” Karin asked. She loved poking into other people’s sex life.

Sasuke frowned. “The both of us.”

“One always initiates more. My guess is that it’s Naruto. Which means he’s stopped doing it. Why?”

Sasuke’s cheeks got warm from anger and embarrassment at the fact that she was right. Naruto was the one who would often initiate sex. . Sasuke did it too, but to a lesser degree.

“Boredom, perhaps?” Suigetsu said.

“That’s possible…” Karin mused. “When you’ve been in a relationship for a long while, one needs to make some extra effort in order to spice up the sex.”

Sasuke sighed. “Can you two stop dissecting my sex life?” He glanced at the clock. It was an hour until he and Naruto was supposed to meet Itachi. “I need to go.” He grabbed his coat.

“You see us far too seldom nowadays,” Karin pouted. “And now you’re leaving already.” She stood and hugged him. Sasuke didn’t usually appreciate being touched, but he’d known these people for so long they felt like family. He hugged Karin back.

“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll see you more often. It’s just been a rough few months.”

\-----

He picked up Naruto at the dojo where he trained together with Lee. Naruto had showered and changed at the dojo.

“You smell like cigarettes,” Naruto commented when he got into the car.

“I went to see Suigetsu and the others.”

“He lives not far from here, right?”

“Just up the hill, next to the park.”

“That rich son of a bitch… I can’t believe the luck of that guy, inheriting it all from his aunt.”

The houses by the park at the east side of town were expensive. The ones close to the park were unspeakably so, and they looked the part too. Suigetsu’s giant two-story architect-designed colossus had one entire wall made out of glass with an open view over the park.

“She hated everyone in her family, but she hated him the least I guess. Or maybe it was pity because he was orphaned.”

They met Itachi outside an expensive restaurant downtown. The place looked like a hole in the wall kinda place from the outside, but inside it was spacious. The locale had a low roof and wooden beams that gave the impression of it being an old building. The cubicles were enclosed and private, and each table was adorned by a couple of lit candles.

After they had placed their order Itachi asked Naruto about his work, and Naruto talked easily and freely. It was the usual procedure. Normally when Itachi and Sasuke met, there was little talk. Often there could be long periods of silence that neither of them were bothered by, but when Naruto was with them, every silence was filled with small talk. Sasuke knew that that didn’t bother Itachi. He liked Naruto and the energy he brought with him.

Now he could sense that his brother was fishing for something, though. After being done with filling each other in about their lives, Itachi started steering the conversation onto more personal areas. He did it as casually as only Itachi could. Naruto didn’t seem to suspect anything.

Sasuke sent Itachi a warning glance, but his brother smoothly ignored it. He ordered them dessert. Naruto would eat anything, but Itachi took care to find something that Sasuke would like. He ended up choosing a fresh, citrusy cheesecake.

“This place is awesome,” Naruto said as the dessert arrived. “This is so good. Everything was so good!”

“I’m glad. Then you know where to go if you want a romantic night out.” Itachi gave Sasuke a small smile. Sasuke shook his head slightly.

“What are you two mind-communicating now?” Naruto said with exasperation. “I swear, you’re reading each other’s mind while I’m sitting here in the dark.”

“Itachi just enjoys amusing himself with the problems of lesser people,” Sasuke said, although good-naturedly.

“I’ve known you long enough to expect that. Does our love life amuse you?” For seeming like a person who only spoke and never thought, Naruto had a surprising knack for hitting the more subtle nails head on.

“Your love life has never amused me,” Itachi said. “Not in the way you think. I’m actually fascinated by it.”

“Of course you are.” Naruto grinned. “Feelings doesn’t concern you, right? So you like to study us poor suckers who are chained down by them?”

Itachi chuckled. “More like it fascinates me because I’ve never experienced something even remotely as strong as what you two have. Actually, I don’t know anyone else who has the same kind of relationship that you have.”

“What does that mean?” Naruto looked from Sasuke, who stared intently at Itachi, trying to will him to shut up. “You don’t know any other gay couples?”

“No, Naruto…” Itachi got that slightly overbearing tone to his voice, like he was talking to someone who had a bit difficulty understanding. “What I mean is that the connection you two have is special. It’s not something everyone gets to experience.” Itachi paused.

Sasuke just knew that he wasn’t going to like his next words.

“It would be a shame if you let something insignificant like a small dispute come between you.”

Naruto picked at his cake. Now he realized too what Itachi had been getting at.

“You’re both headstrong,” Itachi said. “God knows I’ve often wondered how you’ve managed to keep it going for so long. But you’ve managed so far. So what seems to be the problem now?”

“Is this why you invited us out?” Naruto stared at Itachi. “So you could interrogate me?” He turned to Sasuke. “Were you in on this?”

“No.” There was a sharp snap to Itachi’s voice despite the fact that he didn’t raise it. “Sasuke has nothing to do with this. And I’m not interrogating you alone. I’m interrogating the both of you.” He gave Sasuke a strict glance too. “You’re both two stubborn, insufferable idiots, refusing to listen to each other because you feel wounded by the other, and I can’t stand aside and watch that happen.”

“Itachi…” Sasuke said, but Naruto beat him to it.

“I know we can both be stubborn,” he said. “It’s one of the things we have most trouble reconciling about. And I know we should talk about certain things, but some things we just won’t see eye to eye in, no matter what.”

Sasuke stared at Naruto.

Naruto stood. “I think we should leave now,” he said without looking at Sasuke. Then he stiffly thanked Itachi for the dinner and strode out.

Sasuke got to his feet.

“Sasuke…” Itachi said.

“Not now,” he hissed.

He hurried after Naruto. He stood outside under the awning of the door. It was pouring rain outside.

“I didn’t know that he planned on bringing that up,” Sasuke said.

“Do you honestly want me to believe that you had no idea what your brother was thinking? You know him too well for that to seem probable.”

“I knew he wanted to help us… Just not this way.”

Naruto shook his head. “Drive me home. I’m tired.”

Naruto walked over to the car without caring that he got drenched through. Sasuke held his coat over his head as he hurried over and unlocked the car. The ride home was conducted in a pressing silence.

Sasuke wanted to say something, but somehow the words wouldn’t form. He didn’t know where to start anymore. He didn’t know how to make things okay again. He wasn’t even sure where they had gone wrong. He didn’t want an apology from Naruto, and he didn’t feel like he owed him one either. He had a feeling that an apology might loosen things up, but at the same time, if he rolled over onto his back in this case it meant that he also relinquished his own rights.

The problem was just that his limits went much farther out than Naruto’s did. How could they reconcile over that when neither of them could give the other even an inch of leeway? Sasuke realized he couldn’t let them go back home without talking. This couldn’t go on. They couldn’t avoid each other forever. He pulled off at a roadside stop, and stopped the car.

“Why are you stopping?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke turned in his seat so he could look straight at Naruto. “We need to talk.”

Naruto got a cold look on his face. “I think you’ve talked enough, Sasuke.”

“I don’t think we understand each other clearly.”

“Oh, I understand you perfectly. You hate my friends.” He shrugged. “What more is there to understand?”

Sasuke took a very deep breath. “I _don’t_ hate your friends.”

“No? Really? Then how come you never bother to talk with them when they come over?”

“Because we have nothing to talk about!”

“You could at least try! I try with your friends, although they are very different from me!”

“But you like to talk!”

“That’s got nothing to do with this!”

Sasuke laughed bitterly. “How does it _not_ have anything to do with this?”

Naruto sighed. “I know you don’t talk much, and I’m okay with that. I also know that you’re capable of trying, but my friends apparently aren’t worth the effort.”

“I do try,” Sasuke said. “I _did_ try. But I find it very difficult to bond with them, especially when you end up talking about things among you that goes over my head anyway.”

Naruto closed his eyes for a second. “What do you suggest we do, then?” He said more calmly.

Sasuke felt relieved that they finally were making leeway.

“You could stop inviting them to our place so often, for a start.”

“How often is _often_ in your opinion?”

Sasuke didn’t like Naruto’s tone. “I don’t know…” He said slowly, trying to curb his irritation. “I guess we can figure something out.”

Naruto snorted. “I don’t think so…” he shook his head. “This isn’t working, Sasuke.”

Sasuke felt a cold claw of fear grab hold of him. “What do you mean?” he said as calmly as he could.

Naruto shook his head. “You know what I mean.”

The silence stretched between them. Naruto stared straight ahead.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Sasuke said hoarsely.

“Sasuke…” Naruto clenched his eyes shut for a second. “This whole deal with my friends isn’t the actual problem. We don’t function like we used to anymore… There’s something missing. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is. I’ve been… I’ve been thinking that we can fix it, that it’ll come back if we just try hard enough. But I’ve realized that it won’t. It just… It won’t, Sasuke…”

He finally looked at him, his eyes filled with agony.

“It’s gone.”

\-----

Sasuke barely remembered the drive back home. When he parked the car Naruto got out and said something about staying at Kiba’s place. Sasuke wasn’t sure if he answered or not.

He just sat there, staring into the soft darkness ahead of him, feeling like he was being swallowed whole by it.

He realized that he had no idea what to do. Naruto had just left. He’d left him. Just like that.

He felt his breath catch in his throat.

It wasn’t possible. He couldn’t just do that, not after everything they’d been through. He couldn’t just walk out like that. Sasuke got out of the car and looked around, but Naruto was already long gone. He’d probably gone to the nearby train station.

Sasuke just stood there. It had stopped raining, but there was a chilly draft in the air.

Naruto’s words came back to him.

‘I think you’ve talked enough, Sasuke.’

Maybe he was right. What was there left to say?

He got back into the car and picked up his phone. He stared at it emptily. And then it hit him, suddenly, like someone had smashed him in the chest with a lead weight.

It was over.

It was really, honestly, irrevocably over.

The pain in his chest just seemed to intensify. The air inside the car seemed stuffy and heavy. He stumbled out again. Going back to the apartment now seemed impossible. It was their apartment. It was too much of Naruto there. He needed to get away from everything that had anything to do with Naruto.

He felt something build up in his chest. Something that hurt so fiercely he felt like he was going to be torn apart.

He leant on the side of the car, dizzy. He was still holding his phone. Itachi. He needed to call Itachi. He would know what to do. His hands shook so badly he could barely type. He swore softly. It seemed to take forever before Itachi picked up.

“I’m sorry,” Itachi said. “I didn’t know he’d react like that. I just wanted to help-“

“Itachi…” Sasuke bit out.

Itachi immediately heard that something was wrong. “Are you hurt?”

“No, just… Just come and get me, please…”

The last word was a little shaky.

Itachi didn’t hesitate.

“I’m coming over right now. Where are you?”

“In the parking lot… Outside the apartment…”

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Sasuke sank down on the ground and curled up around himself, trying to protect himself from a pain that no one could save him from. He couldn’t even feel the chill anymore.

Sasuke barely noticed the time passing before he looked up and Itachi stood there leant over him.

“Sasuke… What has happened?”

There was real fear in his voice.

Sasuke just shook his head. He felt so tired. Wrung out.

“He left me,” he whispered.

“Oh no…” Itachi kneeled next to him and pulled Sasuke into his arms. “I’m so sorry…”

Sasuke just felt numb. He let Itachi guide him to his car and meekly got into the passenger seat.

“I’ll go and get some things from the apartment,” Itachi said. ”Is Naruto there?”

Sasuke shook his head. By the time Itachi came back, Sasuke was resting his head against the windowpane of the car door, pretending to be asleep.


	5. Aftershock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by heartsns ^^

There was a persistent knocking on his door. 

“Naruto? Naruto… I don’t know if you’ve overslept or something but… uh, the clock is almost half past nine.”

Naruto turned towards the wall and tucked his head under the duvet.

The door opened a crack.

“Naruto?”

“I’m not feeling well… I think I’ll just stay here.”

Kiba hesitated before saying, “Should I call in sick for you?”

Naruto had been dreading talking to Tsunade, so he was thankful for Kiba’s offer.

“Thanks, that’d be great.”

He fell asleep again and woke up sometime around noon. Kiba and his girlfriend, Yuki, were both at work, so he was alone in the apartment. He made some coffee. Then he sat by the canopy window and just stared into the empty air without seeing anything. One of the cats that Kiba and Yuki kept for the animal shelter where they volunteered once a week, came over to Naruto and sat next to him like it were trying to comfort him. It even sniffed at his hand.

Naruto had never been very fond of cats. He was more of a dog person. But its apparent care for him touched him. He scratched it behind the ears. It was a huge black cat with fur that was a little ragged, and one eye that was marred by a giant scar.

It started purring.

“Hey, you like this?” Naruto muttered. He scratched the cat some more, until it had enough and left. It reminded Naruto of Sasuke, and the thought made the ache worse.

By the time Kiba came back, Naruto hadn’t done much else but drink an unhealthy amount of coffee and somehow managing to fuck up instant ramen.

Kiba moved carefully around Naruto, almost like he was afraid he’d shatter if he spoke too loudly. They ordered pizza since Yuki was working late, and sat in silence and watched TV. Kiba tried to uphold a sense of normalcy by laughing loudly at the sitcom they were watching, but after a while he gave up trying to pretend things were like before.

He cleared his throat. “So… What happened?”

Naruto shrugged. He was barely capable of collecting enough energy for even that. He rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

“I…” He swallowed. “I left him.” He wasn’t able to say his name without coming dangerously close to crying.

“ _You_ left Sasuke?” Kiba gaped. “Why?”

Naruto shook his head. He tried to swallow the pain.

“I… I had to.”

“Did he do something to you?” Kiba sat up, suddenly becoming protective.

“No, of course not…” Naruto frowned. “Why’d you think that?”

“Did he cheat on you?” Kiba said, getting more worked up. “I swear, if that asshole-“

“No! He didn’t cheat.”

“How do you know that?”

“Seriously Kiba, why would he cheat?”

“What did he do then?”

“He didn’t do anything.” Naruto’s voice became thicker. He swallowed. “It’s just something that has been happening over time… We drifted apart, I guess.” He shook his head. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Okay. Fair enough.” They lapsed into silence again. Kiba tried to uphold the mood by doing some small talk, but Naruto was barely able to follow. Finally, Yuki came home, and soon after she and Kiba went to bed. Naruto sat awake a little longer, staring unseeingly at the TV. One of the old black and white movies that Sasuke likes came on. Naruto grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

He wondered how he was going to get through this. Every second he wondered if he’d done the right thing. Every second he had to remind himself why he did it. He had to hope it was the right thing, though it didn’t feel that way.

He went to bed even though he knew he wouldn’t get much sleep.

\-----

Sasuke woke up in a warm cocoon of blankets. At first he couldn’t understand why his head was aching so badly, and why his eyes felt like sandpaper. Then he became aware of the gaping black hole in his chest, and he remembered. He curled in on himself, wishing he could just go back to sleep forever.

A cool hand caressed his forehead.

“You’re finally awake.”

Sasuke turned to find Itachi sitting on the edge of the bed. He was dressed in a suit, the first few buttons of his shirt open.

Sasuke groaned. He felt sick.

“Why am I in your room?” he muttered.

Itachi looked slightly pale. He watched Sasuke with worry. “You don’t remember?”

Sasuke frowned. A vague memory of sitting in Itachi’s bed, watching a movie that he couldn’t remember what had been about, popped into his head.

“I fell asleep here… I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t mention it,” Itachi said. “My bed is more than big enough for two.”

Sasuke squinted at the clock. It was 8.40.

“Shit… We should have been at work by now. Why didn’t you wake me?” Sasuke sat up. Then he groaned and held a hand to his head.

Itachi urged Sasuke to lie down again. “I don’t think you’re going to work today.”

“But I’m supposed to brief the latest project…”

“I can do that.”

Sasuke rested against the pillow. He had to admit that going to work seemed an almost insurmountable task. All he wanted to do was to sleep and never wake up.

“Do you have sleeping pills?” he asked.

Itachi went and found one and brought a glass of water. He didn’t leave Sasuke with the entire bottle.

“I’m leaving now,” he said, but he remained standing indecisively by the bed. It was so unusual of him that it was painful to watch.

Sasuke swallowed the pill.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured Itachi. “I’m probably going to sleep until you come back.”

Itachi nodded. He gave Sasuke one last concerned look before he left.

Sasuke fell into a deep and mercifully dreamless sleep.


	6. Part 2 - Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is betaed by heartsns ^^

How can I say this without breaking  
How can I say this without taking over  
How can I put it down into words  
When it's almost too much for my soul alone 

_Hurts Like Hell_ by Fleurie

 

A week later, Naruto showed up to work a little worse for wear. He knew he looked pale and tired, but he couldn’t care less. He ignored the concerned look Sakura gave him and went straight to his desk. The others in the office came by to chat and hear how he was doing. Naruto tried to uphold a semblance of normalcy, but he could feel the smile stiffen on his face. Eventually people stopped coming to see him, though they still glanced over giving concerned looks.

Sakura was the first one who dared to ask if he was all right. She startled him out of his thoughts when she came into the break room and spoke to him. She handed him a coffee from the coffee shop at the corner.

“What is going on, Naruto?” she asked, her green eyes filled with concern. “You’ve been absent for a week and you didn’t answer my calls. Are you okay?”

Naruto nodded. “Yeah, I just had the flu.”

“Oh… Okay.” She smiled. “I hope you’ll feel better soon. Hey, Ino is hosting a party this weekend. You know her parties are legendary. Maybe a little fun will brighten you up?"

Naruto tried to smile. “Thanks, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Right, you do look a little pale still. Maybe it’d be best to take it easy.”

She excused herself, but before she could leave, Naruto called after her.

“Hey… Uh, do you want to go out for dinner tonight? After work?”

She looked a little hesitant.

“It’s been a while since we did something together,” Naruto said. “I just thought it’d be nice to talk a bit…”

She smiled. “Yes, of course. I’d love to.”

\-----

Sasuke woke up drowsy from the sleeping meds. He staggered into the bathroom. Standing up made him a bit queasy. He steadied himself against the sink and took a few deep breaths. He refused to look at himself in the mirror because he knew it wouldn’t be a pleasing sight.

He splashed some water on his face and went downstairs wearing nothing but his pajama pants and an old, ratty t-shirt. Itachi had, as per usual, left him some food that he didn’t touch. Instead he made himself some really strong coffee.

He sank into Itachi’s expensive leather couch and turned on the TV. The first thing that came on was a football match. Sasuke turned the TV off with more force than necessary and threw the remote away. He curled up and pulled a blanket over himself, and although he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, he lay down and closed his eyes.

The wound in his chest still felt jagged and aching. If possible, it felt like it had grown. He had contemplated many times sending Naruto a text, asking for another chance. But each time he was reminded of Naruto’s words, and he threw the idea away.

‘You’ve done enough talking, Sasuke.’

‘I understand you perfectly.’

But he didn’t. He hadn’t understood anything.

Or was it Sasuke who didn’t understand anything? Should he have let things be as they were? Would that have saved their relationship?

He stood. He needed something to distract him from the constant thoughts. He hadn’t felt like talking to someone for the past week, but now he realized he wanted to see his friends. He took a shower and then he called Juugo.

\-----

Juugo didn’t pry when Sasuke arrived in a bad mood. He just made him some calming tea and managed to keep a one sided conversation about his day. Sasuke was very grateful for the distraction and he encouraged Juugo to continue with an occasional ‘huh’ or ‘hm’.

When Karin and Suigetsu arrived, the first thing Suigetsu did was ask about Naruto.

“How is it going with you and sunshine?”

“We broke up,” Sasuke said, his voice like the snap of a whip.

The three others fell silent.

“What?” Karin screeched. “You broke up?!”

Suigetsu was, for once, dumbfound.

Juugo was the only one who immediately went over to Sasuke and gave him a comforting hug.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said.

“How did it happen?” Suigetsu demanded to know. “Did you finally get fed up of his immaturity?”

“No, he got fed up of me.”

Sasuke turned away. He didn’t want them to see how much he was actually hurting. There was a long moment of quiet. Karin said she’d put on some coffee with overly much cheer in her voice. Suigetsu started talking about a work-related problem, which showed that he had enough tact to not start talking about one of his new conquests as he usually did.

They didn’t pry more. Instead they treated him like china and took almost annoyingly good care of him. It was unusual of them and it unnerved Sasuke.

He left early and drove slowly back to Itachi’s place. The path brought him close to his and Naruto’s apartment. On impulse, he took a right turn at a traffic light and drove into the parking lot outside their apartment complex. He parked next to their car.

It was usually Sasuke who used it, since he had a longer way to work. Naruto used to commute. Sasuke wondered if he was home now… It was six o’clock in the evening. He should be. Unless… Sasuke felt a sickening stab in his chest just at the thought. Unless he was seeing someone else… Perhaps being out on a romantic dinner with someone, or having fun at a club…

What was he thinking? Sasuke snorted. Of course Naruto wasn’t out dancing. He never danced. He was probably at a bar with his friends, checking out that busty cousin of Neji’s…

Sasuke rubbed his hand over his eyes. He had to stop torturing himself. He drove away before Naruto could show up and see him there.

\-----

Naruto took Sakura to one of the places that Itachi had taken him and Sasuke to. One of the less expensive places, but it still had a nice atmosphere and very good food. Sakura approved of the place.

“It’s really nice here. I love the atmosphere, it’s so cozy.”

They talked about work, mostly, and then they started talking about their coworkers.

“I think Chouji and Ino just needs to admit their feelings for each other,” Sakura said. “Their flirting is getting more and more obvious.”

Naruto was trying to act casual, but it was getting painful to smile when all he wanted was to scream.

“I haven’t noticed,” he said.

“You men never notice these kinds of things.” She rolled her eyes. “How are you and Sasuke?”

Naruto nearly choked on his soup, but managed to play it casual.

“We’re… uh… we actually broke up.”

Sakura froze. “Oh… Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me? I’m so sorry Naruto. And here I’m just insensitively prattling on about Chouji and Ino and… Oh god, are you okay?”

Naruto nodded. “I’m fine now. It happened a week ago.”

“So that’s why you were away from work.” She placed a hand on his arm. “You should have told me before.” Then she seemed to realize something. “It wasn’t because of, you know… the kiss?”

“No, he doesn’t know about that.”

“You should take the time you need to get over it,” Sakura said. “I can see that you’re still shook. And you should probably tell the others at work as soon as possible too, so that they don’t prattle on like I did and accidentally hurt you. I think they would like to know.”

“I know. I’ll try to find the time to tell them.”

Sakura rubbed his hand. “You can talk to me whenever you like if you need to.”

“Thank you.”

He squeezed her hand. He was really grateful he had her.

\-----

On Monday Sasuke decided it was time to go back to work. He wouldn’t be able to survive another minute alone with his own, dark thoughts in the silence of Itachi’s spacious home. Itachi seemed hesitant of the decision.

“I can manage without you for a while longer if you need to rest,” he said.

But Sasuke was determined. “I want to come back,” he said. “I’ve been away from work for a week now. Any longer and I’ll go mad.” Sasuke didn’t tell Itachi that he’d tried many times to sit down by the desk and try to sketch down some ideas, but every time he put the pen to the paper, his mind went blank. He couldn’t move his hand. It was like he’d forgotten how to draw.

If he tried to force himself to draw anyway, it just came out horrid. It lacked creativity and purpose, and it left him feeling frustrated and dejected.

He had hoped that starting to work again would solve the problem, but to his horror everything got worse. It felt like he was moving around underwater, like everything moved slower than normal. His head felt like it was filled with cotton that filtered out all sounds. He had to ask people to repeat what they were saying several times because he simply couldn’t manage to pay attention to what they were saying. The meeting they had with their clients was about to turn into a disaster, but Itachi somehow managed to salvage it. He took Sasuke aside at the end of the day.

“Sasuke… I think it might be better if you take some time off. Get away for awhile. Take it as a vacation.”

“I’m fine, Itachi,” Sasuke protested. “I just need some time to acclimate.”

Itachi sighed. “I’ll give you to the end of this week, but if you’re not feeling better by then, I can’t allow you to keep working.”

\-----

“That cat is never going to find a home,” Kiba said.

Naruto had been scratching Bas behind the ear. The big, black cat loved the attention.

“Why?”

“People don’t want old, grumpy animals with defects.” Kiba said. “That’s sadly how it is.”

“Can’t you keep him?”

“I can’t keep him forever. New animals are coming in every day. The shelter is buried to their ears in work.”

Naruto couldn’t stand the thought of the cat being put down. “I’ll take him.”

“Really?” Kiba’s face lit up. “That’d be awesome.”

“By the way… I thought about finding a place of my own,” Naruto said.

“That’s great! I’ll help you look for one.”

He had been staying with Kiba and Yuki for the past week, so he was starting to feel like he needed to get moving with his life. He could have lived in the apartment he shared with Sasuke since it was obvious that Sasuke wasn’t staying there. Naruto had gone back once to pick up some stuff, and the apartment was exactly like they’d left that fateful Saturday.

But the place was too full of memories. He wouldn’t be able to keep the apartment anyway, since he wouldn’t be able to afford it alone. He would have to find a smaller place. He’d hoped Sasuke would contact him about it, since he assumed he didn’t want to keep paying the rent for a place that apparently neither of them lived in, but he hadn’t heard anything from him. He’d thought many times of contacting him to discuss it, but he kept putting it off.

Naruto rubbed Bas’ jaw. He purred and pushed his nose into Naruto’s hand for more.

“You’re coming with me,” Naruto murmured. “No worries. I’ll take care of you. We’ll move to a nice, small apartment, just you and me. It’ll be great, I know it.”

\-----

Sasuke’s hand was shaking. He was unable to collect his thoughts, much less bring them down on the paper. He cradled his face in his hands and tried to take deep breaths to collect himself.

“Sasuke…” Itachi’s voice was filled with worry. “This isn’t working…”

“I just need some more time,” Sasuke said through his teeth. He clenched the pencil and forced it to meet the paper. What he’d drawn this far looked nothing like the sketches he usually could create. They looked more like something a ten-year-old child had drawn.

“I can manage on my own for now,” Itachi said. “You can safely take some time off. I know mom is anxious to see you. It’s been half a year since you last visited them.”

And with good reason. They had never taken to Naruto. He guessed his parents would be satisfied now that Naruto was out of the picture.

“Did you tell them?” he asked hoarsely.

Itachi shook his head. “I just said you were going through a tough time. Mom insisted that you come live with them for a while.”

Of course she did. Sasuke had always been her little baby. She still called him to ask if he wanted to come for the weekend so she could do his laundry. Itachi found it endlessly amusing.

Sasuke dropped the pencil and leant back in his chair. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll go home for a while… Get things sorted out...”

He stood and collected his pencils and his sketchbook, putting them in his briefcase together with his phone.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

Itachi cradled Sasuke’s face in his hands and kissed his forehead. “I know you will.”

\-----

Finding an apartment proved to be easier than Naruto had thought. Kiba was efficient in sorting out the good places, and Sakura came with him to the house showings with her critical eye and intimidating demeanor. The apartment he ended up with was small but just enough for him, with a small living room and a kitchenette, and one bedroom. It had a nice location not far from where he worked (but far away from Itachi’s place and where he and Sasuke’s worked), but close to a park and a train station.

Kiba and Lee helped Naruto clear his stuff out of the old apartment. Naruto hadn’t been prepared for how painful it would be to find all the things that held memories of his and Sasuke’s time together. There were a lot of those things.

For the past week he had tried his best not to think of all this, and because of that he hadn’t really let all of it sink in. But as he opened their closet to sort through their clothes, he realized he couldn’t do it. He came across a t-shirt that belonged to Sasuke, a black one with a band logo, and suddenly he felt tears press against his eyelids.

He closed the closet and dried the tears away before he went back into the living room.

“Guys,” he said. “I… I don’t think I can do this right now.”

“What?” Kiba looked up from a box he’d been taping shut. “But we’ve already started.”

“I…” Naruto didn’t know how to explain it without resorting to cliché’s. “I guess I just need a break.”

He went outside and took a cigarette out of the packet in his coat pocket. He leant against the wall and opened a new message to Sasuke. His thumb shook slightly as he started typing.

_‘I’m cleaning out my stuff from the apartment. The place is yours if you want it.’_

He hesitated before he sent it. It felt so… final…

He took a deep breath before he went back inside again. He ended up just putting random things into boxes and taping them shut with force. He figured it was better to leave too much than too little, so he left most of the things that had belonged to the both of them. He took the TV because he figured Sasuke couldn’t care less. He had left him the printer and the bed and the rest of the furniture except the couch, and almost all the kitchen appliances. Other than that he just took what was his alone.

He left all of their shared pictures too. But the clothes… He struggled with getting started on them. The whole bedroom smelt of Sasuke. And the bathroom… He hadn’t even bothered going through it. Most of the things in there were Sasuke’s.

“Aren’t you sorting through the closet?” Kiba asked. It was starting to get late, and they were done with everything else.

“Yeah, I was getting to it.”

He started pulling all the clothes he could get ahold of into a box. He owned about one third of the clothes in their closet, so he didn’t need more than one box. Then he resolutely shut the closet and taped the box shut. Kiba had been watching the whole ordeal. It took less than a minute.

“Uh… Shouldn’t you sort through them or something?”

Naruto lifted the box and shoved past him. “We’re done here.”

In the car he realized he’d gotten a message from Itachi.

_‘Sasuke won’t be keeping the apartment. I’ll handle the sale.’_

It was a bit weird that Itachi was sending him a message and not Sasuke. The message was really short and professional too.

_‘Okay, thanks,’_ he sent back, unsure how to treat this side of Itachi.

“Did you hear from Sasuke?” Kiba asked.

“No, but I got a message from Itachi.”

“What did he say?”

“Just that he’ll be taking care of the sale.”

“So Sasuke won’t be involved in it at all?”

“Doesn’t seem that way.”

They lapsed into a tense silence. Naruto stared out at the rain that sheeted across the windowpane.

“What actually happened?” Kiba asked. “I mean… I always thought it would take a lot to make you leave him, so something major must have happened.”

Naruto hesitated for a bit.

“It’s complicated… I guess that at one point I realized I couldn’t think of one good reason that we should stay together. We barely spend time together, and when we do we’re just fighting. Everything he does… Everything about him has started annoying me. Every time he picks on me… The dislike he shows towards you guys… The way he always has to have things his way, exactly the way he wants it, exactly the moment he wants it…”

He could feel anger and frustration well up just by talking about it.

“That’s how it is when love fades," Kiba said. "You finally see the other person for who they really are."

“I tried to talk to him before, but he didn't listen to me,” Naruto continued. “He never listens to me. We always end up starting a fight instead of talking, and I always end up becoming the villain."

He pressed his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes so that Kiba wouldn’t see that he was on the verge of tears.

“I used to love him so much, but lately it has been difficult to even remember why I fell in love with him,” he whispered. “We have reached a point where I don’t believe we can fix it anymore. Either way, there’s nothing left in me with the will to stay and try. I had to leave him.”

Kiba didn’t seem to know what to say to that. “At least now you can start afresh,” he finally said in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You can find someone sweet and nice who’ll lift you up instead of dragging you down.”

“You mean like a girl?” Naruto bit out.

“…No,” Kiba protested, but it was a second too late.

“You’ve always disliked him,” Naruto said. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s because he’s a guy and not a girl.”

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence where Naruto wished he could take back his words, but then Kiba sighed.

“I guess I deserved that one,” he said. “I know I didn’t handle it very well when you first told me you were dating him, but I needed time to wrap my mind around it, okay? As though the fact that you were dating a guy wasn’t enough of a shock, you had to go and date the one person that we both agreed was insufferable. But I came around after a while and I haven’t let you down since. I guess it's a lie to say that I didn’t wish that you were dating a girl…”

Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but Kiba hurried to continue.

“But I respect your choices. If it had been anyone else but Sasuke, I’d have been cool with it, but you know that I disliked him even before you started dating him. And in case you don’t remember, he’s never missed a chance to pass me a few veiled insults of his own, so it’s not like I’m the only one who creates friction here.”

“He hasn’t been doing that lately,” Naruto protested a little weakly.

“That’s because I’ve barely seen him for the past year. He’s been avoiding me like the plague.”

“It really gets to him, you know… the things that you say. The jokes.”

Kiba was quiet for a moment. “Huh… Well… I didn’t think he cared that much about anything that I said.”

Naruto absently tapped his fingers against his thigh.

“He cares a lot more than he lets on,” he said.

The thought of Sasuke’s good sides made Naruto wonder, not for the first time, if he’d done a huge mistake. But then he thought about the past year and reminded himself about the fighting, and the way they felt so out of sync, and the lonely nights spent with them on completely opposite sides of the same bed.

He reminded himself of the way living with Sasuke lately made him feel like he had to force himself into a space that was ten times too small for him, and he knew that he couldn’t have done anything differently.


	7. Damage Control

_A Month Later_

Since Naruto moved into his apartment, he’d spent most evenings ordering in and cuddling with Bas. Occasionally he’d played co-op online with Kiba, when he had time. Otherwise he’d reverted back to his WoW addiction and could play it far into the night.

One day his friends decided to take action. It had been over a month since the break-up, and Sasuke’s name was still taboo around Naruto.

“It’s time you got over him,” Kiba said. “You’re going out with us tonight.” With him he had Sai, Neji and Shino.

“I don’t-“ Naruto started saying, but Kiba wouldn’t let him finish.

“I’m not taking no for an answer. You need to get out, meet someone new, and get Sasuke out of your system!”

Naruto hugged Bas closer. “I don’t want to.”

“It’s not a request.”

Kiba motioned towards Sai, who stepped forward with his jaw set in determination. “We’re doing this for your own good.” Neji stepped forth too and the two of them grabbed hold of Naruto’s arms.

“Seriously, guys?” Naruto stared at Kiba. “Are you gonna force me?”

“If words don’t work, we’ll have to use stronger means.” Naruto was pulled to his bathroom and the door was slammed shut behind him. He sighed. It seemed he had no other choice. He took a long, hot shower. When he was done, a fresh set of clothes was laid out for him, undoubtedly picked out by Sai.

Naruto touched them with something akin to distaste. He hadn’t dressed up in ages. He and Sasuke… they hadn’t exactly gone out much. The last time he wore these clothes was actually when he and Sasuke had gone to a club together. The jeans were stonewashed and dark, and unusually tight for his taste. It was Sasuke who had convinced him to buy them. The shirt was one of his favorites and he was surprised that Sai had picked up on the fact that it fit him perfectly. He knew the guy had a taste for fashion, but he wasn’t aware he paid enough attention to Naruto to know him that well. He styled his hair a bit and went out to the others to receive his verdict.

Kiba grinned. “That’s more like it.”

They had brought lots of beer so it was obvious they were aiming to get him well and truly plastered.

“Thank god Sasuke isn’t here,” Kiba said after they’d been talking and drinking for a while.

“He’d have thrown a fit over how it looks here.”

Naruto groaned. “Can you please stop mentioning him?”

Kiba shrugged. “You can’t keep avoiding his name forever.”

“As a matter of fact, I can.”

The silence stretched between them until Neji got them on a different subject. The truth was that Naruto’s place felt bleak without the pictures that he’d left in his old apartment, and Sasuke’s sketches on the wall, and Sasuke’s knack at making a place feel homier. He started feeling the heartache come back with full force, and downed the rest of his beer in an attempt to drown it. He stood. “Are we gonna hit the club or what?” The others cheered.

\-----

Naruto stared gloomily down into his drink. Neji nudged his shoulder. “Chin up. You’re supposed to have fun tonight.”

Naruto tried to smile. Neji leant closer so that they could hear each other better over the pulsing beat of the music. “Kiba just wants the best for you. But I suppose he didn’t consider that what would be best for him might not be best for you.”

“He’s right, though,” Naruto said. “I need to get out a bit. Forget about… everything.”

“As someone who’s been close to you even before you met Sasuke, I can tell that you changed a lot after you met him. And you’ve been with him for seven years. Getting accustomed to being without someone who’s been such a big part of your life isn’t gonna be easy.” He squeezed Naruto’s shoulder. “But you’ll get over it with time. And maybe forgetting about it for a while isn’t such a bad idea.” He raised his drink and Naruto did too, downing it. It burned down his throat, but he felt warmer afterwards. He ordered a new one. “Have you danced?”

“Kiba has been trying to set me up with girls since we got here, but…” He shook his head.

“Are you more interested in men?” Neji asked.

“Well, no… That’s not the problem. It’s just that neither of them are…” He paused. He didn’t know what they were missing, exactly. He just knew that something was missing.

Neji gave him a look of sympathy. He put his drink down on the bar. “Come on, let’s dance.” He nudged Naruto’s arm. “I can’t stand watching your sad face for another second. You need to move a bit. Let loose.”

Naruto followed him to the dance floor a little reluctantly. He’d had enough alcohol to not think too hard about how ridiculous he surely looked on the dance floor. Sasuke had always been the one out of the two of them who was the best dancer. He’d put his arms around Naruto’s neck and move against him, and somehow Naruto started moving too, giving in to the rhythm.

Neji started dancing next to a girl and she eagerly turned to him and moved close to him. Naruto didn’t feel that confident around girls. He’d always been rejected by the girls that he’d had crushes on, and generally they didn’t seem to be that drawn to him. A hand landed on his shoulder and startled him. It was just Sai.

“Hey, you look lonely.”

“No one seems to be interested in dancing with me,” Naruto said with a small laugh.

Sai moved closer to hear him better. “I can dance with you.”

Naruto wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not. Sai could be a little difficult to read at times. He chuckled a little uncertainly. Sai started moving. He was standing very close. For the first time that evening, Naruto really paid attention to him. He noticed what he was wearing. Skintight black jeans and a sheer, almost see-through shirt.

“Um…” Naruto felt blood rush to his cheeks. “Uh, Sai… Are you sure about this?” He threw looks at the people around them. No one seemed to pay attention to them.

“We don’t need to dance close.” Sai moved a little away from Naruto. “I just want you to move. I know you can dance when you want to. Show these people that side of you, and the girls will come running.”

“Ah, haha… I don’t know about that…” He started moving in time with Sai, watching his moves and copying them. Sai turned around and moved his ass almost a little too suggestively for a guy. Naruto felt warmth rush through him and pool in his stomach. He swallowed. He moved a little closer to Sai.

A girl came over to Sai and started dancing with him. They started gyrating towards each other, seemingly forgetting Naruto. He didn’t know what to do. It felt stupid to dance alone. He was about to leave when Sai grabbed him and pulled him back. He whispered something to the girl, and she giggled and sashayed over to Naruto. She pressed her whole upper body against his, her boobs squeezing against Naruto’s chest.

“Oh…” Her thigh had somehow snuck its way in between Naruto’s legs and was pressing against his hard-on. He blushed and tried to move away from her, but she held on.

“No reason to be embarrassed, cutie,” she said. She leant closer, her lips against his ear. “I like men that are a little… sensitive…”

Naruto knew immediately that this woman was not what he needed. She was far too scary. He backed away into the gyrating mass of bodies around him, saying some bullshit about having to go to the restroom. He found his way to the bar and ordered another drink. This night was just not going his way.

Sai came over to him. “How did it go?”

Naruto shook his head. “She wasn’t my type.”

Sai sighed. “Who is your type, exactly?”

He sprawled on the stool next to Naruto and ordered a gin and tonic. Naruto’s eyes were drawn to Sai’s crotch. He felt his mouth go dry. Perhaps he had a very specific type… A type that looked sinfully good in tight jeans. 

But Sai was his friend…

Sai noticed that Naruto had gone quiet. Naruto was a little slow to avert this gaze. He blushed when he realized he had been caught staring. He hurried to take a huge gulp of his drink. Sai became quiet as he drank too.

“You know…” Sai said. “We could, um… We could go back to your place.”

Naruto’s eyebrows arched. “And do what?”

Sai shrugged. “I don’t know. Drink a bit. Talk. It’s obvious you’re not getting anything out of this…”

Naruto nodded slowly. “That sounds more tempting than sitting here and trying to drown my sorrows. I’ll tell the others.”

Sai grabbed his arm as he was about to stand. “That isn’t necessary,” he said. “Look at them, they’re having fun. Just send a text and tell them we left.”

Naruto realized that it sounded very much like Sai wanted them to be alone. But it was a while since they’d spent time together just the two of them.

“Sure.” He sent Kiba a message and left with Sai.

On the train back to the apartment, Sai stood awfully close to Naruto. There was plenty of room, but Naruto didn’t mind. He rested his head on Sai’s shoulder while Sai played some puzzle game on his phone.

Back in the apartment, Sai mixed them drinks from the assorted bottles of tonic and remains of alcohol that Naruto had standing from a time that was long past. He served Naruto a martini.

“This reminds me of the first time we met,” Naruto mused.

Sai chuckled. “You didn’t like me much back then.”

“You spilled hot water in my lap! And then you proceeded to… to grope me.” Naruto blushed. The thought of having Sai’s hands on his body was doing funny things to him.

Sai blushed a little too. “I was even more socially inept back then than I am now. I was trying to help you, not… harass you.”

“I know…” Naruto took a sip of the drink. It wasn’t what he’d usually choose, but he liked it.

“Anyway, it’s funny when you think back on it. It’s kinda astonishing, really, that we could become friends.”

“Especially since Sasuke seemed to hate me.”                   

Naruto felt his stomach drop at the mention of Sasuke’s name.

“Sorry,” Sai said. “I shouldn’t have brought him up.”

“No… It’s okay. I think Kiba was right… I need to get used to talking about him.”

“It’s still soon… It’s just been a bit over a month since…” he trailed off.

Naruto started thinking of those first meetings with Sai. They had met at a cocktail party at Sasuke’s job. Naruto had been bored out of his mind, and Sai had been working there as a bartender. They’d had a good tone going until Sai managed to spill hot water on him… He’d been a bit nervous since it was his first bartending job. Then Sasuke had managed to show up just as Sai basically was in the process of feeling up Naruto… At least it looked that way, though he was just trying to dry off the water he’d spilled.

Afterwards, Sai had apologized profusely. To Sasuke’s annoyance he had invited Naruto out to dinner as a way to apologize, and Naruto had accepted. In hindsight it had been a bad idea and it almost ruined their relationship, but somehow they had managed to weather the storm. Naruto had found that he liked Sai. He was an artist and he told Naruto that he really wanted to paint him, to which Naruto of course accepted. No one had ever asked to paint him before; it was something that was more probable to happen to Sasuke.

As time passed and their relationship remained strong, Sasuke accepted Sai a little more, although he never managed to like him. Sai had always been a bit saddened by that. He’d wanted to know the person that Naruto talked about so much a little better.

Sai slipped onto the couch next to Naruto. He sat so close that their shoulders and thighs touched. He grabbed Naruto’s hand and squeezed it. “You’ll get over him, eventually.” He smiled. “Maybe you just need someone to… help you forget him.”

“I wish I knew of someone who could do that…” Naruto’s mind was still reeling a bit at the fact that Sai was holding his hand.

“Maybe…” Sai leant a bit closer. “Maybe I could help…?"

Naruto swallowed. “Help me… get over Sasuke?”

Sai shrugged. “Or just relieve your pain a bit. I’m not picky.”

“But… our friendship…”

Sai turned his upper body towards Naruto. “Since the first time I met you, the only thing I wanted to do was to kiss you.” He touched Naruto’s cheek. “I couldn’t back then, but now…”

He leaned in and placed a kiss on Naruto’s lips. Naruto closed his eyes and enjoyed the kiss. Sai’s lips were so soft, almost like a girl’s.

When Sai realized that Naruto was okay with the kiss, he shifted onto his lap. Naruto placed his drink on the table and pulled Sai closer.

Sai was more pliant than Sasuke. Naruto found that he liked that. He was allowed to take control over the situation. He turned them over and placed Sai on the couch. Then he slipped between his legs and Sai gladly allowed it. Naruto rolled his hips down against Sai’s. He nipped at his throat and Sai held him tighter.

“Do you…” Naruto pulled away a bit so that he could look into Sai’s eyes. “Do you want to…?”

Sai nodded. “Yeah…” he breathed.

“But I don’t have any…” Naruto hadn’t planned on getting laid anytime in the immediate future.

“It’s okay.” Sai got up and got something from the pocket of his coat. “I was prepared for a one night stand.”

Naruto took his hand and led him to the bedroom. He turned on the nightlight, pulled the duvet aside, and sat down. Sai let his shirt slip to the floor, and shimmied out of his jeans. He seemed a bit self-conscious at having Naruto’s gaze on him. He came closer and handed Naruto the condom and the lube.

Then he slipped off his briefs while standing right in front of Naruto. Naruto’s eyes zeroed in on the erect cock in front of him. It had been too long.

Sai nudged at them hem of Naruto’s shirt. Naruto raised his arms so Sai could slip it off him. Then he laid back on the bed and let Sai open his pants and pull them down, freeing his cock.

Sai groaned. “I’m taking back every joke I’ve ever made about you being dickless.”

Naruto chuckled. “Hey… I hope you like to bottom, because I, uh…”

“I hoped you’d say that,” Sai said with a crooked smile. He crawled onto the bed and straddled Naruto. He took the lube and prepared himself while kneeling over Naruto. He kept eye contact the entire time. Naruto felt his cock fill out till it was so stiff it started to become painful. Sasuke would never have done something like that. Not putting on a show for the sake of it. Naruto couldn’t say he was complaining. He rubbed his dick while he watched Sai’s fingers slipping in and out of that tight, little hole.

“Put on the condom,” Sai said.

Naruto did, and soon he was slipping his cock into the warm, tight heat of Sai’s asshole.

He groaned. His hands clenched around Sai’s hips.

“Oh, yes,” Naruto groaned through his teeth. “Ohhh…”

Sai moved carefully at first as he adjusted. Naruto heard his labored breaths and wanted to hear him moan. He stroked Sai’s thighs as he started moving, slowly, up and down, taking him all the way in with each languid rock of his hips. He started breathing more heavily as his body undulated, his hips moving more confidently, trying to find the best angle.

As Naruto watched his cock slip in and out, he grabbed Sai’s ass and squeezed it with each thrust.. His own breathing was getting heavier. He felt the orgasm build up slowly but surely. He closed his eyes. Involuntarily he thought of demanding black eyes that never let go of his gaze, especially not in the heat of the moment.

Sasuke always had the ability to keep Naruto in place with only his gaze. All he needed to do was to look into Sasuke’s eyes and he’d lose it. But when he threw his eyes open, all he met was a warm, dark brown gaze that watched him with a desire to please. He felt confused for a second before he came back to himself. Sai rocked his hips faster with firm, short thrusts seemingly losing himself in pleasure. He clenched Naruto’s hand as he came, spurting his cum across Naruto’s chest. He panted as he came down and lifted himself off Naruto’s stiff dick.

He rolled the condom off and leant down to take Naruto in his mouth. He was skilled with his tongue. Naruto came fast, arching up and coming into Sai’s mouth without making a sound. He felt his whole body buzz in the aftermath of the orgasm. He rubbed Sai’s back.

“Thank you,” he muttered before he drifted off to sleep.

\-----

When Sasuke finally rolled out of bed, the clock was half past three in the afternoon. He dragged his weary body into the shower and stood there, letting the warm water beat down on his back. He had to really force himself to lift his arms and soap up his hair. He didn’t even bother to put in conditioner. He leant over the sink for a moment when he got out of the shower, feeling a little dizzy after getting out of the heat.

He pulled on some clothes that he found lying on the bedroom floor and shuffled downstairs. There he found some dry crackers in a cupboard and munched on them while he stared blearily into thin air.

“Sasuke… You need to eat more healthily.”

His mother stood in the kitchen doorway. She washed the earth from the garden off her hands and dried them on her flowery apron before she cupped his cheeks in her hands.

“You’re getting skinny.” She had to stand on tiptoes to look him in the eyes. “Should I make you something?” Even as she asked, she was already on her way to the fridge.

“Mom… Please don’t exert yourself. I can make food on my own if I want it.”

“Obviously you can’t,” Mikoto said. She found bread, ham, tomatoes, lettuce, peanut butter and jam, and went ahead making him two sandwiches.

Sasuke sat down by the huge, wooden kitchen table. His parents were wealthy and lived in a mansion, where he and Itachi had grown up. The road up to the house alone was longer than most normal people’s entire property. The house had never appealed to Sasuke. It had always seemed dead with its many quiet and unused rooms. In addition there were the memories of the thousand restrictions that two young boys had had to grow up with, banning them from skidding on the floor and playing hide and seek in the closets because the furniture was antique.

Sasuke was grateful for the food after all, because when he started eating he realized how hungry he was.

“Sasuke, baby…” his mother said when Sasuke was done eating. She put a hand on his arm. “Your father and I, we need to talk to you. Your father is waiting in the conservatory.”

Sasuke hid a sigh. He could already guess what this was about.

His mother followed right behind him as he entered the conservatory. His father was sitting in a comfortable chair, reading the paper. He looked with distaste at Sasuke’s clothes, an old pair of grey sweats and a washed out t-shirt, and folded his paper neatly.

“Sit down,” he said, and motioned towards the other chair in the room, which was usually occupied by his mother. Sasuke sat down on the edge if the seat.

“We need to talk about this… behavior you’re conducting.”

Sasuke knew it. He bit his lip in order not to let anything slip out until his father was done, or else he’d just start anew from the beginning just to prove a point.

“Itachi is too soft on you. He always was. He lets you get away with skirting your duties for a whole month, but it can’t go on for much longer. Your mother says you need time to recover, but that’s nonsense. You ought to find yourself a nice young woman, someone who can take care of you, and stop this… this charade you’ve been conducting.”

“My sexuality isn’t a charade,” Sasuke bit out, unable to stay silent any longer.

His father sighed. “You can say what you want, Sasuke. But the fact remains that you lost him in the end, and now you’re here again, begging for our help as though you’re a child. But you’re a grown man now, and you must manage on your own. My advice is, stop fooling around and start taking responsibility.”

Sasuke slammed his fist down onto the table between them and stood. He wanted to yell at his father, but his words were stuck with the lump in his throat. Instead he stormed out and slammed the door behind him, knowing full well it would jar his parents sensitive ears and feeling at least a little satisfaction at the knowledge.

His mom came up to his room a little while later. The room that Sasuke had as a boy had been cleared out long ago, all his stuff ending up in boxes in the attic so that his parents could have another room to exhibit their antiques in. The room he’d been sleeping in was like taken out of a catalogue, beautiful and impersonal, painted a cool blue that reminded Sasuke of a waiting room.

Mikoto sat down next to him on the bed. “Although your father can be a little cross, he is right. You need to go back to your duties and your life. You can’t hide out here forever.”

Sasuke turned his face towards the pillow.

She put her hand atop his. “I know it hurts,” she said softly. “But with time this will pass too.”

Sasuke felt tears press on. He didn’t make a habit out of crying in front of his parents, or of crying at all, but right then he just needed the warm embrace of a mother.

“I…” he tried to speak, but had to swallow the lump in his throat. He tried again. “It feels like it’ll never end,” he choked out. “It’s like it gets worse with time. I – I keep wondering what I did wrong, what I could have done better. And I ask myself, every day, why… Why did he leave? Why?”

His mother put an arm around him and held him to her chest. Despite the fact that she was much smaller than him, he still tried to curl up so that he could tuck his head under her chin.

“It’s impossible to answer those questions,” she said. “Maybe he doesn’t even know why he did it. Relationships are complex. You’ll get nowhere trying to figure out where it went wrong. In the end, maybe it was simply time to move on.” She stroked his cheek.

“But rest assured that it will pass, and one day you will look back at it and you will perhaps understand better why it happened, or you’ll have reconciled with the fact that some things in life we will never know.” She kissed the top of his head. “I know you’re strong enough to get through it.”

Sasuke nodded against her chest while tears ran silently down his cheeks.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning,” he said when he managed to regain control of his voice. He sat up and discreetly dried his cheeks. He knew his dad. He was a man of his words. If Sasuke didn’t leave, he’d kick him out.

His mother looked saddened but she said nothing.


	8. Rebuild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by heartsns ^^

Itachi had taken care of the sale of the apartment and had moved all of Sasuke’s stuff to his own home. Sasuke was eternally grateful to him for his kindness. He started looking for a new apartment the second he came back to Konoha. The apartment he and Naruto had owned together had been way below what Sasuke could actually afford, but since Naruto wanted to pay the same amount as Sasuke, that was the price class they had ended up at. Now Sasuke could choose from the top shelf, but he didn’t really care. He choose the first and best apartment he came across which was close to work and to Itachi, and far from Naruto’s job and the dojo and every other place he could imagine accidentally meeting Naruto.

He had moved into the apartment by the end of the week. It was too huge for the scarce few pieces of furniture he owned. Itachi helped him find something new to help fill the empty spaces. As they walked past shops, Sasuke stopped outside a music store where a grand piano was showcased in the window. He went inside before Itachi had even noticed that he had stopped.

He ran his hand over the polished instrument. It wasn’t a new one. The shop sold used instruments. Sasuke tried the keys. It had a good, deep sound.

“I’ll take it,” he said to the shopkeeper, who’d made his way over to him in the empty locale.

The shopkeeper seemed a bit taken aback. “Yes, of course, yes…”

“It’s been ages since you played,” Itachi said as they went out on the street again. “I thought you said you’d never touch a piano again.”

“That was ten years ago,” Sasuke said.

He’d had a dispute with his father. His father was the one who had paid for his piano lessons since he was ten, insisting that it was essential for a person of good upbringing to be able to play at least one instrument, and the piano was the absolute preferred one after the violin.

Itachi had played the violin.

Sasuke had been in a turbulent period of his life, and in a fit of anger at his father he had quit the piano lessons.

“Now I feel like playing again.”

\-----

He was a bit rusty, but when he started playing he realized how much he’d missed it. The piano stood in the middle of the main room, next to the huge glass wall with a view over the woods that surrounded Konoha, and the glimmering lake of The Valley of The End in the distance. It was a penthouse apartment, and yet it was situated at the edge of town a little away from the hubbub of the central city.

Sasuke went back to work as before, but he still couldn’t draw like he once did. It didn’t matter in the end, because they still managed to realize their ideas, but Itachi had to take a bigger part of the workload. Sasuke’s creativity had completely dried out, so he had to rely on his knowledge and their former projects for inspiration.

All he really wanted to do was to sit at home and play the piano. Hours could go past without him noticing while he played. He ended up skipping work because of it. Every little task at work demanded twice as much energy from him now as compared to before. He could tell that Itachi was getting exasperated and anxious, though he hid it well. He checked up on him almost every day, as though he was afraid he’d one day catch him trying to hang himself.

“I’m fine,” he tried to assure Itachi. He was over the worst, but he was different from before.

“It’s like you’ve lost something,” Itachi said. He studied Sasuke’s face as though he could find the piece Sasuke had lost there somewhere.

‘What you’re looking for is my joy for life,’ Sasuke thought. ‘And you won’t find it here because one particular person left with it.’

\-----

Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo were obviously worried about him too. They kept trying to cheer him up the only way they knew how. Suigetsu by suggesting he should get laid, Karin basically had the same idea, and Juugo by bringing him a gift.

A living gift.

“A puppy.” Sasuke stared at the little fur ball with the frantically wagging tail that was cradled neatly in Juugo’s arms. “What am I supposed to do with a puppy?”

“You’re supposed to take care of it.”

Juugo practically dropped it in his lap. Sasuke pushed it gently away.

“I don’t have time for animals. I have a full time job.”

“Everyone has time for animals.”

“You could at least have gotten me a cat,” Sasuke muttered.

He had no idea how to raise a puppy.

Dogs were more Naruto’s field. He’d always been eager to get a dog, but Sasuke hadn’t thought it was a good idea, what with their full-time jobs and all. At two occasions they had looked after a dog for someone else. It had been a compromise to soothe Naruto’s dog abstinences, and to try out how it worked out for them. Unfortunately, both the dogs they’d looked after had been completely unruly, and that didn’t exactly make Sasuke more eager to get one for himself.

The puppy stared expectantly up at Sasuke with its round, brown eyes. Its tongue was lolling out of its mouth and the tail went back and forth like a whip. Sasuke tried to pet it on the head and the dog took it as its cue to throw itself into Sasuke’s lap.

Juugo smiled. “I think he likes you.”

“Go figure,” Suigetsu said. “This was bad timing, Juugo. I was planning to drag Sasuke to the club tonight.”

“I can keep the dog for tonight,” Juugo said.

Sasuke frowned. “Wait, I haven’t agreed to anything.”

“Whether you agree or not, you’re coming with,” Suigetsu said. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“I haven’t agreed to the dog either.”

Juugo shrugged. “That’s also non-negotiable.”

\-----

So there he was, in a club, with no desire to dance or to be there in the first place. The place was a gay bar. It was apparent that his friends were serious about getting him laid, because neither of them had anything to do in a gay bar. Suigetsu seemed amused by the number of men who were hitting on him, while Karin nearly slugged a woman that got a little frisky with her. Apparently the women found her very attractive, because they came swarming.

After the third time a man got a little eager and touched Sasuke inappropriately, he’d had enough.

“I know you swear to the idea that you need to get under someone to get over someone,” Sasuke hissed in Suigetsu’s ear. “But that doesn’t work for me.”

He stood and made his way to the door, but on his way there he almost ran into someone. He turned and something about the man he’d bumped into made him stop for a second. His eyes locked with a cool, green gaze framed by thick, black eyeliner. Messy, fire hydrant red hair fell down over a pale forehead, barely covering a peculiar red tattoo.

“Are you leaving already?” the man asked, his voice cool and calm.

Sasuke found he had stopped completely. “Maybe,” he said. “It depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether there are any interesting men here.”

The shadow of a smile graced the man’s lips. “And is there?”

Sasuke found that he was intrigued. “Now there just might be.”

The man bought him a drink without asking what he wanted. They exchanged some words about themselves. When Sasuke learned that the man’s name was Gaara, he already knew who he was.

“You’re the man behind the stunning designs of Sabaku Associates architecture.”

Gaara explained that Sasori, the owner of Sabaku Associates, was his cousin, and that he worked with him on many of his projects, offering his artistic touch with his sand art.

Sasuke found that he wanted to talk with this man rather than dance. But there was also something about the way he looked at him, something about how his calm gaze took him in so unabashedly, visibly lingering on his body with appreciation. The gaze made desire stir in the pit of Sasuke’s stomach.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Gaara asked.

Sasuke thought he’d never ask.

Gaara’s apartment was close to the club, in the heart of the town, but once inside, the pulse of the city was closed out entirely. Only the thousands of lights that glittered far below them outside the window suggested that it was still there. The apartment wasn’t exactly lavish, which Sasuke had expected of someone with a name as well known as Gaara’s. It was modest but with exclusive details. It was also decorated with dozens of little sculptures of sand encased in glass baubles and pictures on the walls depicting huge buildings and mosaics. It was a personal and modern place, and it seemed to fit its owner.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Gaara asked.

“Just water.”

He’d had enough alcohol. He wanted to clear his mind a little.

Gaara brought him a glass of water and offered him a place to sit. Sasuke accepted the water but remained standing. Gaara didn’t move out of his intimacy sphere but remained close to him. He reached out almost hesitantly and placed a hand on Sasuke’s waist. Sasuke placed the glass on the living room table and took a step closer to Gaara.

Gaara’s hands lingered on Sasuke’s waist for a moment longer, his eyes asking permission to continue. Sasuke grabbed his hand and led it underneath the hem of his shirt.

Gaara didn’t need more prompting. He leaned in and kissed Sasuke, his mouth insistent and yet gentle. Sasuke put his arms around Gaara’s neck and brought him even closer.

Gaara’s hand flitted up and down Sasuke’s sides. He started hefting up Sasuke’s shirt as he slowly walked him backwards towards the bedroom. By the time they reached the bed, Sasuke had lost his shirt and his pants were open. Gaara’s leather jacket was left in a pool on the floor, but otherwise he remained dressed. He knelt in front of Sasuke and pulled his tight jeans down to his thighs with care not to chafe. He moved his lips expertly over Sasuke’s hard cock under the briefs, moistening the fabric.

Sasuke swallowed thickly.

Gaara looked up at him.

“Top or bottom?”

“Bottom,” Sasuke breathed.

Gaara smirked. “I thought so.”

He stood, led Sasuke over to the bed, and pushed him down onto it.

He pulled off his briefs and spread his legs gently. Sasuke willingly submitted to him. Gaara took his time finding the lube and warming it up before carefully breaching Sasuke.

Sasuke let out a soft sight. Just the feeling of one finger was wonderful after so long.

With some help from the alcohol, he managed to allow himself to relax completely. He didn’t check himself when a breathy moan made its way up his throat, but let Gaara’s expert hands unravel him completely.

“You’re one of those who are extremely sensitive here…” Gaara said, rolling his fingers languidly. “I wouldn’t have guessed so when I met you.”

“I often hear that I… ahh… look much colder than I am.”

Gaara pulled out his fingers and grabbed a condom. Then he opened his pants, pulled out his hard, flushed cock, and rolled the condom on. He kept eye contact as he placed himself on top of Sasuke. Sasuke couldn’t help it. He gasped when Gaara pushed into him. He’d prepared him so well that it took little effort to push all the way inside.

Sasuke clutched Gaara’s upper arms. The man didn’t give him much time to get used to the feeling. He pulled out and sank in again, going deep and hitting Sasuke’s prostate with perfect precision.

Sasuke groaned.

He snaked one hand in between their bodies, intending to touch his cock, but Gaara grabbed his hand.

“Don’t,” he murmured. “I’ll make you come untouched.”

Gaara grabbed Sasuke’s other hand too, and placed them next to his head.

“Keep them there.”

Then he proceeded to fuck Sasuke slowly, each deep, controlled thrust hinting at the power and the desire that Gaara held back in order to bring Sasuke slowly to exactly where he wanted him.

Sasuke fisted his hands in the sheet. He had to fight the desire to touch himself, and to touch his partner. Gaara wasn’t holding him in place, but Sasuke didn’t want this to stop so he remained still. He felt the warm feeling in his gut build up slowly, growing hotter and hotter until he was sure he had to peak soon, but it just kept growing.

Sasuke found that he moved his lower body naturally into a position where Gaara’s cock would find that good spot inside him and massage it with each thrust. He didn’t care that he arched his back like a cat in heat in order to get it. His heels pushed into the mattress and his toes curled into the sheet, and he brought his legs wider apart, desperate to take him in deeper.

Gaara didn’t stretch him the way Naruto had, but he was so skilled with what he was doing that it didn’t matter.

Sasuke felt the pleasure build to an uncomfortable point. His cock was painfully hard and ached from neglect. He fisted his hands harder in the sheets to keep from touching it.

“You’re close,” Gaara whispered in his ear. His breathing was heavy. He caressed Sasuke’s chest and rubbed his thumb over one of his nipples at the same time as he thrust into him. “You can come now. Let go.”

He pushed harder into him, massaging both his nipples in time with the thrusts that were becoming wilder and swifter.

Sasuke pressed the back of his head into the pillow, his mouth open in a soundless moan as he came hard. He gasped, his body shaking from the strain. As the desire cooled, he collapsed. His arms and legs felt like jelly. He barely had enough strength left to straighten out his legs so that he wouldn’t sprawl like a discarded ragdoll.

Gaara kissed the side of his sweaty neck.

“That was amazing,” he murmured, his voice slightly shaky.

Sasuke grunted some sort of affirmative. He fell asleep at the blink of an eye.

\-----

When he woke up, he felt less tense than he’d been for years. His body felt light as a feather. The bed was puffy and soft and the sheets felt supple like silk against his body. Then he realized that the sheets actually were silk.

He sighed and rolled over onto his back, and that was when he felt the stickiness smeared between his buttocks. He hated waking up dirty. He struggled to get into an upright position. He felt so lethargic and there was a slight ache in his arms and thighs that reminded him of how he felt after a good workout.

It was no wonder after yesterday. He had no idea how long he’d stayed in the same position while being fucked senseless. After the first round they’d gone for another one, and perhaps a third one… Sasuke’s memory was a bit hazy on the details.

He felt desire stir like a coiling snake in his lower body. But his bed partner was nowhere to be found.

He tried the door that he assumed led to the bathroom, and took a warm shower before dressing in the clothes from yesterday. He found Gaara in the living room. He was on the phone but he mouthed to Sasuke that he’d be done in a sec.

Sasuke took the liberty of pouring himself some coffee.

Gaara hung up a minute later. He stood and came closer to Sasuke.

“My cousin called, he needs me at the office. But I hope I can see you again?”

Sasuke smirked. He leaned against the kitchen counter.

“After last night, you can see me whenever you want.”

This time there was an actual smile on Gaara’s lips.

\-----

Naruto grabbed Sai’s hand. They were walking down the street sharing a cone of ice cream. It was finally starting to get hotter in the weather. Naruto always looked forward to summer. Soon it would be the perfect weather for surfing and playing on the beach. After having been stuck in his apartment or in the stuffy office for so long, it was a relief to breathe some fresh air and just enjoy life.

Suddenly, Sai pulled his hand back. Naruto felt confused for a second before he noticed Neji and Hinata coming towards them. They had agreed to keep their relationship secret for now.

Neji and Hinata didn’t seem to have noticed them yet. Naruto was just about to call out to them when Neji grabbed Hinata’s hand and smiled down at her before kissing her gently on the lips. Naruto slowly lowered the hand that he had raised in order to wave. He just stood there gaping, as did Sai.

“Are they… dating?” Sai said.

“I guess so.”

So Sasuke had been right. No wonder Hinata was staying for so long.

Neji looked in their direction and noticed them standing there dumbfound in the middle of the street. His cheeks grew redder than Naruto had ever seen before.

Naruto hurried across the street, Sai in tow.

“Did you see…?” Neji asked.

Naruto nodded. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

Neji looked relieved. “Thank you.” He grabbed Hinata’s hand and when he looked at her, his eyes grew soft. “We’re not ready to tell anyone yet.”

“Our fathers have their eyes set on other, more suitable matches for us,” Hinata said. “I don’t think they’d approve of our relationship.”

“Our lips are sealed,” Sai promised.

“We’re sort of… hiding away too,” Naruto said. He looked at Sai for permission to tell their secret. He nodded.

“We’re dating,” Naruto said.

Hinata gasped. “Oh, that’s good.” She smiled at Naruto. “I always thought you looked so down after… Well, you know. I’m happy for you!”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Naruto cautioned. “We’re sort of testing it out for a while, so… It’d be better if the others didn’t know yet.”

Both Neji and Hinata swore solemnly that they wouldn’t tell. They were all hungry so they decided to eat together. They went to a local barbeque place and sat outside in the warm weather.

Naruto learned that Hinata was a sweet and warm person when he was able to talk to just her. He’d thought she was a bit weird the first time he met her, but now he started liking her.

“How did you two end up together?” Neji asked.

“Kinda accidentally, actually.” Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

“I’ve had a crush on him since I met him,” Sai admitted. “That night when we went to the club I managed to gather the courage to tell him.”

“I didn’t know that he felt that way about me,” Naruto said. “It was pretty shocking. I thought it was just a dream the next morning.”

“That’s so sweet,” Hinata said. “To imagine that you found together after so many years, never knowing you felt the same way about each other.”

Naruto chuckled, a little embarrassed. “Well, we’ve only tried this for about a week. It’s kinda new still…”

Sai shifted on his chair and cleared his throat. “I’m certain, at least.”

Naruto chewed on his lip. Hinata tactfully changed the subject.

They sat talking a long time after they were done eating. Sai, Neji and Hinata were discussing art and Naruto felt a bit left out. He stared out across the park next to the pavilion they were seated at when he caught sight of a familiar person. He felt his heart freeze in his chest before it tumbled straight down into the pit of his stomach.

Walking along the path among some trees, holding onto a leash, was Sasuke. Naruto’s eyes almost bugged out of his head when he realized that Sasuke was walking a tawny puppy.

Out of all things… He’d never thought he’d see Sasuke walk a dog of his own free will, especially not such an energetic one. Maybe it belonged to a new lover? Naruto grit his teeth. Why was the thought of Sasuke having a lover making him so aggravated? Sasuke could have a dozen lovers for all Naruto cared. Honestly, he didn’t care about what Sasuke did at all. He certainly didn’t care about why Sasuke was exactly there of all places. Did he live nearby? His job wasn’t far from here…

“Naruto?”

Naruto’s head whipped around to find three sets of eyes fixed on him.

“Are you okay?” Sai asked. He looked in the direction Naruto had been staring, but Sasuke had disappeared out of sight.

“I’m fine,” Naruto said. “I’m perfectly fine.”

He stood so suddenly that his chair threatened to fall over. “I need to… go to the restroom…”

He meandered off into the locale, and passed by the toilets in favor for hurrying out the main entrance. He jogged over to the path that he’d seen Sasuke walk along and looked around to see if he was still around. He spotted him a little ways down along the path. He was kneeling next to the dog, untangling it from the leash that it’d managed to get twisted around its legs. Naruto stared at him. It felt like his heart was being  pulled out of his chest. It ached. He’d thought he was over Sasuke, but apparently not.

He wanted to talk to him, but somehow he found himself frozen to the spot. If Sasuke looked in his direction, then it’d be stupid not to talk to him. But Sasuke didn’t, and Naruto just watched him go.

 

 


	9. Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last prewritten chapter, so the following updates won't be as frequent. This is also the ending of part two. The next part will start after a timeskip. I hope you'll enjoy ^^

Sasuke would never understand why Juugo chose a hyperactive golden retriever as the type of dog for him. The dog was growing on him, though. The pup would eagerly greet him at the door when Sasuke returned home from work. He’d run around Sasuke’s legs with surprising speed on his fluffy, uncoordinated paws, demanding attention until Sasuke bent down and petted him. The way he followed Sasuke around really made him feel like he was everything to it.

Sasuke had never been good at names, so he wasn’t sure what to call the pup. He knew Naruto would have found a name for him in no time. He scratched the puppy behind its ear. A hind leg started twitching, like he wanted to scratch back, and he got a funny look in his... could it be called a face? His mouth sort of stretched out and he got some funny wrinkles around the eyes.

Sasuke had to chuckle at the sight.

Gaara didn’t strike him as the mushy type, but the first time he saw the dog, he immediately started cuddling with it. The dog loved him. Gaara insisted that Sasuke should find him a name.

“You can’t just call him ‘it’.”

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

Gaara didn’t have a reply to that.

Suigetsu and Karin shared Gaara’s opinion. They had made it their goal to try and find a name that Sasuke would approve of. The only problem was that all the names they came up with were out of the question.

“I’m not calling him Fluffy,” Sasuke deadpanned one evening when Karin, Juugo and Suigetsu were visiting.

“But why not?” Karin said. “He’s so soft and fluffy, like candyfloss. Hey! What about calling him Candyfloss?”

Sasuke sighed and shut them out.

He was trying to play the piano, but Karin wouldn’t stop bothering him about Gaara.

“So… You’re just fucking? Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“But why can’t we meet him anyway? I mean, you spend more time with him than you do with us. Either you’re doing a heavy amount of fucking, or you’re starting to grow fond of him.”

“Even if I was growing fond of him, I still wouldn’t introduce him to you guys yet. Not unless I wanted to lose him. It took almost half a year before I dared introduce you to Naruto, and he’s pretty laid back.”

“Oh my god!” Karin slapped her hands over her mouth. “You said the name of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Grow up.”

Karin turned to the other two. “He’s finally starting to get over him!”

“That’s what I’ve always said,” Suigetsu said. “Getting under someone is the best medicine.”

“What do you know?” Karin said. “Maybe it was the dog that cured him.”

 

\-----

 

Naruto twisted his hands. What was he even thinking, coming back here? He was sitting on a bench in the park, not far from the barbeque restaurant he had eaten at a few weeks ago. . He checked his watch. Ten to five. It had been around five when Sasuke walked past here last time.

Like clockwork, Sasuke showed up, exactly as Naruto had known he would. Sasuke was a creature of habits. He probably walked the dog after he came home from work.

Naruto pulled the cap he was wearing down lower on his brow, and hunched down a bit. Sasuke walked right past him, but then the dog stopped to sniff on Naruto’s shoe.

“Shoo…” Naruto muttered.

The dog barked at him.

“Come here Jin,” Sasuke called.

Naruto remained plastered to the bench long after Sasuke had left, the memory of his voice, just as deep and smooth as he remembered, embedded in him.

His phone rang. He jolted. It was Sakura.

“Are you on location?”

“I’m on my way,” he mumbled.

“Naruto,” she said strictly. “You can’t be late for this. We need to get good spots!”

“I know, I know…” he hurried towards the location, which was the opening of the new theatre. Many famous people would be there. “But you’re aware that every other newspaper in the whole town is going to cover this?”

Sakura sighed. She liked this kind of job just as little as Naruto did, but they weren’t the ones who decided what needed to be covered.

“Just be there, okay? Tsunade is going to blame me if you don’t show up on time.”

She hung up.

 

\-----

 

It was typical that Sasuke decided to get a dog only a couple of months after their break up, Naruto thought as he stood in the rain, hoping to get a few words with some stuck-up celebrity. Though, Naruto couldn’t really blame Sasuke for wanting to get back at him. Perhaps it was his own, subtle form of revenge.

If it even was Sasuke’s dog. Naruto was still dubious about it.

“Naruto, are you paying attention?” Sakura hissed and elbowed him.

He jolted to attention.

“Look, those two are part of the architect team that designed the building.” Sakura pointed towards two redheads. “If we hurry over we might get a few words.”

As they got closer, Naruto marveled over the fact that the hair of the two men wasn’t only red… no, it was a shocking, screeching, stop-sign red. One of them even had a tattoo on the side of his forehead. They seemed like interesting people.

Sakura reached them first.

“Hello, we’re from Leaf Times, can we ask you a few questions?”

The two men kindly accepted.

“How does it feel to finally see this building finished after so many years?” Sakura said.

Naruto stood back with the camera, taking pictures while Sakura did the talking. Ino was usually the one who covered celebrity news, but they had been short on staff today and Tsunade was dead set on covering the opening of the theatre. He was wondering if he could sneak away for a moment to smoke when he suddenly found himself face to face with Sasuke. He almost bit his tongue in shock.

Sasuke was dressed up for some reason, wearing black dress pants and a blazer carelessly open over a black button up. With his hair styled and make up subtly applied, he looked stunning. But what was he doing there? He was not part of the architect team, as far as Naruto knew. It had only been an hour since he saw him in the park. It felt absurd to bump into him there.

Sasuke brushed past him without saying a word, and Naruto was too dumbfounded to even try to move his tongue. Then Sasuke went over to one of the red headed architects and whispered something in his ear, and Naruto realized with a pang that they were together.

His hand fisted so hard around the camera that it creaked. He backed slowly away from them, unable to tear his eyes away from Sasuke. Just as Naruto was about to turn and stalk away, Sasuke looked over his shoulder, his eyes seeking out Naruto’s as easily as though they were slabs of metal drawn to a magnet.

They held the gaze for a moment. Naruto was unable to tell what Sasuke’s expression meant. For a second he looked almost saddened… Then he turned away. Naruto stumbled away from there and didn’t stop until he was standing at a corner one block away. He leant against the wall and tried to catch his breath, even though he hadn’t been running.

He hugged his chest and sunk down to his knees… Shit… He could really use that cigarette right now.

 

\-----

 

“Who was that?” Gaara asked.

Sasuke shook his head. “Just someone I knew once.”

“He looked as though he’d seen a ghost.”

That was exactly how it felt too, Sasuke thought. He still felt a bit shaky. He hadn’t expected to run into Naruto like that.

When Sasori had finished talking with Sakura, who apparently stared so much at Sasuke  she barely got the interview done, they moved inside the theater and were served wine and canapés. Sasuke kept to Gaara’s side as he mingled with surprising ease for someone who actually disliked these kind of events with a passion. Sasuke disliked them too, but Gaara had expressed his wish to have Sasuke accompany him as a support and Sasuke was touched that Gaara had asked.

He figured it would be a nice way to get some new contacts, but he was so shook after the meeting with Naruto that for the first half hour he just sipped wine until he suddenly had emptied three glasses. Or was it four?

After that, socialization didn’t seem like that much of a hurdle. He felt more at ease and even laughed at some of the dry jokes that people tried to impress him with. Every time he started sensing that the person he was talking with was flirting with him more than they were actually trying to have a conversation, he excused himself and moved on.

Gaara came over to him after a while and touched his arm.

“I’m leaving now. Are you coming?”

Sasuke nodded. He didn’t ask why Gaara wasn’t staying for the show that was starting in ten minutes. In truth, he was grateful for the chance to leave so soon. He excused himself from the woman he’d been talking to, and walked together with Gaara towards the main doors.

In the car he draped himself over Gaara and attempted to kiss him, but Gaara pushed gently him away.

“You’re drunk,” he said.

Sasuke shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

He tried to kiss Gaara again, but he held him at a distance.

“Sasuke… I’m driving.”

Sasuke sighed and sat back in his seat.

“Who was that man you met outside?” Gaara asked.

They were speeding down the motorway. Streetlights flew by like little pinpricks in the dark.

Sasuke absently tapped his fingers on the windowpane. “My ex.”

He noticed Gaara’s hands clench around the steering wheel.

“What was he doing there?” Gaara asked calmly.

“He’s a reporter for the Leaf Times. I guess he was working.”

“Do you still keep in contact with him?”

“No. We broke up on very bad terms. I haven’t spoken to him or even texted him since we broke up a few months ago.”

Had it really only been a few months? It felt like an eternity since he had broken down in his car outside their apartment. Suddenly he felt a small twinge of regret at the fact that he’d never visited the apartment again after they broke up. Itachi had packed down everything that had been left there, which according to him had been a lot, but Sasuke hadn’t looked through it yet. It stood stored in a room in the cellar of his apartment complex.

“He didn’t seem to be entirely over you,” Gaara said slowly. Some of the tension had gone out of him.

“I don’t know.” Sasuke stared out the window. “I don’t care.”

Gaara dropped Sasuke off outside his apartment complex. He had to catch an early flight the next morning so he opted out of coming up. Sasuke leant in and kissed him. This time Gaara didn’t push him away, but pulled him closer, kissing him hungrily.

“Are you sure you won’t come up?” Sasuke asked breathily when they broke apart.

“I wish I could. But I’ll see you in a few days.” He kissed Sasuke once more. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m away. And don’t talk to that reporter.”

Sasuke snorted. “You aren’t jealous are you?”

Gaara attempted to look affronted, but didn’t pull it off well. “Of course not.”

“You don’t have to worry anyway. He doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Gaara seemed appeased at last.

After Gaara had driven away, Sasuke stood indecisively in the lobby, fiddling with the key to the cellar. He clenched it in his hand. When the elevator arrived, his hand hovered over the display before he pushed the button for the lowermost floor.

The storage room hadn’t been opened since he moved in. It smelled old and musty.

The boxes were stacked high, making the small room feel crowded. Sasuke didn’t even know where to start, so he just grabbed a box that stood conveniently in level with his chest, put it on the floor and ripped it open.

It was filled with a bunch of kitchen appliances. That was hardly what he was looking for. He searched through a few more boxes until he found something of interest. Their photos. There were so many in the box that Sasuke realized Naruto hadn’t taken any. He could understand why. Even now it hurt to look at them. He put them back in the box and closed it.

What was he even doing, he wondered. Was he trying to make himself hurt? He opened another box, and froze. In it lay a stuffed animal that Sasuke had used to make fun of Naruto for. It was a dog. Naruto had gotten it from his parents as compensation for a real dog. Sasuke held it up and turned it in his hands. Its fur was soft and a little threadbare. He wondered why Naruto hadn’t taken it with him.

For a moment he just stood there, holding the small toy in his hands. Then he tucked it under his arm, and turned off the lights as he left.

 

 


	10. Part 3 – Reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to use a song that was a bit more uplifting for this chapter, but the fact is that I only listen to depressing songs T-T I listened a lot to Hunger by Florence and the Machine while writing, though, so it seemed fitting to use it. Also, it fits with the general feel of this part of the story; the need to be loved and the empty feeling inside which one always tries to fill somehow, whether one is aware of it or not... 
> 
> I hope you're going to like part 3, although I fast-forwarded a lot (I had to give Naru and Sasu the chance to cool down a bit). There are some surprises to come, so sit tight ;)

At seventeen, I started to starve myself  
I thought that love was a kind of emptiness  
And at least I understood then the hunger I felt  
And I didn't have to call it loneliness

  _Hunger_ by Florence and the Machine

 

_ Three years later _

 

Naruto rolled over and almost fell out of the bed. His alarm was blaring so he shoved it down on the floor. It kept ringing.

“The fuck…” Naruto murmured. He set his feet on the floor and stretched.

“Turn that thing off,” a muffled voice said from behind him.

He picked up the alarm and turned it off. 6.30am. God, it was too goddamned early. He yawned again. Then he got up, took a shower, and made some coffee. Before he left, he went back to the bedroom where Sakura was still fast asleep.

“I’m leaving,” he said, and kissed her.

She just grumbled something.

He had a special appointment this morning. He’d managed to get an interview with someone that had been  in the media a lot lately… and not voluntarily. Gaara Sabaku had always appeared as a dispassionate and reserved man, but lately that reputation had started changing. It had become known that he used to be into BDSM, and now even the tiniest little paper wanted a piece of the story. For the last three years, Gaara’s popularity had only grown and he was steadily becoming a world famous artist. People wanted a part of his story, especially when it was as juicy as this.

Naruto had not volunteered for this interview, but Tsunade had insisted that he’d take it.

“You’re the perfect man for the job,” she’s said. “Gaara is known for being difficult to interview so I want my best smooth talker to take care of it.”

Naruto wasn’t sure if he should be offended or flattered.

At any rate, he was a bit curious talking to Gaara. His relationships had been well covered in every magazine and paper lately, so Naruto knew that he and Sasuke broke up two years ago. Sasuke had actually gotten his picture in several of those same magazines, looking hotter than even some of the best models. He also got a long and honorable mention.

Naruto had heard that he’d had a problem with reporters lately asking him about his relationship with Gaara. Naruto bet he hated it, and he was gloating a bit about it.

He arrived at the hotel where the interview was being held at eight o’clock. The interview was supposed to start in half an hour, but Gaara was delayed. 

He didn’t arrive until two hours later: an hour and half late.

He didn’t seem apologetic in the least.

Naruto hadn’t been prepared for the impact of meeting Gaara. The second he saw his dark red hair and that tattoo, he was brought back to their first meeting three years ago, when Naruto unexpectedly had bumped into Sasuke. He hadn’t seen Sasuke since then, and the memory was still surprisingly fresh.

Naruto put on his most professional facade, and started questioning Gaara with businesslike efficiency.

Gaara studied Naruto with intent green eyes. Naruto was pretty sure he hadn’t blinked since he entered the room.

“You’re Sasuke’s ex,” he said, interrupting Naruto in the middle of a question.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. He considered playing stupid to avoid that particular conversation, but Gaara didn’t seem like the type to be fooled easily.

“Um, yeah,” he said. “But back to the interview…”

“He’s a great guy,” Gaara said. “I don’t get why you dumped him.”

Naruto felt his whole body freeze. “Well…” He kept his eyes fixed on the sheet of paper in front of him. He couldn’t quite make himself meet Gaara’s gaze. “I can assure you that it wasn’t an easy decision.”

“Do you regret it?”

Naruto sighed and sat back in his chair. The guy was apparently not going to let this go.

“Yes,” he said. “Every day.”

Gaara smiled ever so minutely. It wasn’t a warm smile.

“I don’t think you have any idea how badly you hurt him.”

Naruto felt defensive towards the unwarranted attacks from this… this cocky brat who thought he knew Sasuke so much better than Naruto did.

“I think Sasuke is a grown up man who can handle himself,” he bit out. “And I don’t need to answer to you.”

Gaara snorted. “Is that what you tell yourself every day?”

Naruto huffed. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

“No. You’re more important to him than you think.”

It was like a bolt of lightning shot through Naruto’s body, right through his heart.

“We dated for almost a year,” Gaara said. “That’s a record for me.”

“Why did you break up?” Naruto said. He felt involuntarily curious.

“We agreed that we were better off as friends. Besides… I could never really reach in to him. I might not be the best at opening up to people either, but there was always something keeping him at a distance from me. It took me a while to understand that the something was you.”

Naruto looked down at his hands. The questions he was supposed to ask for his interview suddenly seemed completely unimportant.

“It’s too late now anyway,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“I wouldn’t have said this if I didn’t honestly wish Sasuke to be as happy as possible, but I think you should try to talk to him.”

Naruto laughed bitterly.

“Do you really think he’d want to talk to me after what I did? I was cowardly…” He bit his lip. Why was he telling Gaara this, exactly? He looked up at the red-haired man. There was something about him, something about the directness in his gaze that made Naruto trust him. “I was insecure and childish, and I drove him away. He would never want to talk to me again.”

He swallowed thickly and looked away so that Gaara wouldn’t see how pathetically close to tears he was.

“I realized…” he said after a moment of hesitation. “I realized after a while that I had started resenting him for keeping me away from my friends, both directly and indirectly. He’s headstrong…”

Gaara smiled ever so slightly. “So are you, it seems.”

Naruto sighed. “He didn’t even make a proper effort to get to know my friends. He doesn’t like people in general, and I love people, so already there we had a major issue. But…” He took a deep breath. Then he shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

Gaara didn’t scoff or sigh or try to change the subject, or show any other sign of awkwardness over suddenly being burdened with Naruto’s deepest regrets.

Naruto looked up and found that Gaara was looking at him in a way that was slightly more, if not friendly, then at least understanding.

“Maybe you should be telling Sasuke all this,” he said.

 

\-----

 

Naruto felt numb. He walked home on autopilot. Sakura wasn’t at home when he came back. Naruto slumped on the couch. Bas strutted over to him and jumped onto his lap, purring and rubbing his cheek on his arm.

For what was probably the first time in three years, Naruto allowed himself to really think about Sasuke. He had worked hard on shoving the most painful memories to the back of his mind, but now they came tumbling forward the second he opened up to them.

Memories of lazy Sundays where they had done nothing but lounge on the couch, eating junk-food and watching movie marathons, memories of their failed attempts at taking care of dogs and subsequently ending up with ruined shoes…

He had thought that Sasuke would go mental that one time when he found that his favorite leather shoes had become a dogs chewing toy, but Sasuke had surprised him by taking it reasonably calm.

Memories of days spent in bed, cuddling and kissing and making love… How warm Sasuke were those times, how he craved Naruto’s touch, how he looked into Naruto’s eyes with nothing but love…

Naruto leant forward and pressed his hands to his eyes.

It hurt. It hurt so much. Even three years later, the wound was just as fresh. The memories were just as clear. The regret and guilt and longing were just as strong.

He had done the wrong thing.

 

\-----

 

Sasuke woke with a start to Jin barking into his ear. The sly dog had figured out how to open the door to his bedroom, so Sasuke had finally given up trying to close him out, the bed-sheets be damned. It was nice to not wake up alone in bed, except on days like this.

It used to be endearing when Jin was a puppy, but now that he was grown up it wasn’t so fun anymore.

Sasuke sat up and grabbed the thirty kilos of wildly excited dog by the collar, and pulled him closer. He scratched his fur and got a full facial of dog saliva in thanks.

“Thanks a lot,” he laughed.

Jin just wagged his tail excitedly.

By the time he’d taken a warm shower and downed a cup of coffee, Sasuke was starting to feel more human. He took Jin for a walk before he went to work. Their firm had started getting more media attention, especially after all the attention around Gaara and consequently Sasuke. Although Itachi disliked the nature of the attention, he still appreciated the fact that it was putting their firm out there. For the past few months they had been getting almost twice as many requests as before. Itachi was considering hiring a new architect.

With all the extra work, Sasuke’s days were getting longer, but he didn’t mind as long as it kept him from thinking too hard about his depressing personal life. After Gaara he hadn’t been seeing anyone else. He hadn’t been going out of his way to find anyone either. When Suigetsu started hinting about going out to meet people, he shut down completely and blamed Jin for keeping him at home.

He stopped by a local grocery shop on his way home from work. Although he was tired, he still needed some food. He needed to buy more food for Jin too. He was standing in front of the frozen food aisle, wondering if he should just order in instead, when he heard a female voice saying his name.

“Sasuke?”

That voice sounded familiar…

It took Sasuke a second too long to place her, and by then it was too late to pretend to walk away without having heard her. He turned towards the pink haired woman coming towards him.

“Sakura.”

She didn’t smile at him. “I’m surprised you remembered my name.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sasuke said without warmth.

“You too,” Sakura replied in the same tone.

They looked in different directions. Sasuke was just about to excuse himself when Sakura spoke again.

“Listen… There’s no point in ignoring the elephant in the room.”

Sasuke knew he should have walked in a different direction the second he heard her voice.

“I really don’t have time to talk, so…” He was about to turn away when Sakura placed a hand on his elbow.

“Wait.”

Sasuke stopped.

“I feel like there’s been a lot of misunderstandings between us,” Sakura said.

“That’s all in the past now,” Sasuke said.

“No… I’ve been thinking a lot about it for the past few years, and I feel like… It feels important to clear the air.”

“Sakura, we’ll probably never meet again. There’s no need to…”

“Please,” Sakura insisted. “Just listen.”

A group of teenagers ambled past them, stopping to pick up a few frozen pizza’s before moving on.

“I know you felt like I was trying to steal Naruto from you, but I wasn’t, okay? I wasn’t in love with him then and, in fact, I’m not even in love with him now. I love him, but as a friend.”

“Do you honestly expect me to believe in that?” Sasuke snapped. “You stuck to him like a second skin. You called him more often than I did.”

“Okay… Well…” Her cheeks reddened. “I had a crush on you, actually.”

Sasuke stared at her.

“When I realized Naruto was friends with you, I tried to make him introduce us,” Sakura said. “But I got so shy every time I met you that I could barely say a word to you… Then Naruto told me you guys were dating, and I realized I had to give up on you. But by then you already hated me.”

An old lady glared at them because they were blocking her path to the frozen vegetables. They stepped aside, making sure they weren’t standing in the way for anyone else.

“This isn’t the right place to talk about this,” Sasuke said, although he was slightly appeased by what Sakura had told him.

“I know… It was just so strange seeing you here. It’s been so long since I last saw you and when I did I just…” She shrugged. “Never mind. You’re right, it doesn’t really matter anymore. I guess I just wanted to clear my conscience.”

She hefted her purse over her shoulder and gave him that awkward well-I-suppose-it’s-time-I-left look, but he stopped her before she could actually leave.

“I didn’t hate you,” he said.

She gave him a small, forced smile. “Yes, you did,” she said. “But it’s okay. It’s in the past now, and I realize that I didn’t exactly help you like me better either. I allied with the rest of Naruto’s friends, and… well, I figured since they felt the same way about you, I wasn’t the one in the wrong.”

She didn’t walk on even as Sasuke lowered his arm. She hesitated, kneading the straps of her purse.

“I’m sorry we never got to know each other,” she said. “I truly am.”

 

\-----

 

Sasuke let his keys fall clattering to the small table in the hallway. Not even Jin running towards him with a wagging tail, catapulting himself into Sasuke’s arms could significantly brighten his mood.

He knelt and scratched behind the dog’s ears.

“I’m in too deep, aren’t I?” He muttered into the fluffy fur.

Jin wagged his tail, but despite the fact that his entire body was practically vibrating with energy, he kept still, as though he knew that he needed to stay calm for Sasuke’s sake.

Sasuke hugged the dog closer. Jin licked his ear.

“I haven’t dated anyone for two years. This place feels like an empty shell.”

He rubbed Jin by the scruff on his neck.

“If I didn’t have you…” he sighed. Jin cocked his head. “I know, I’m being stupid. It’s not as though  _ he _ , or anyone else, can control my happiness. It’s just that… It had been so long since I thought of him, and now… It’s shocking to find that the feelings are still so fresh.”

Jin lifted his paw and nudged Sasuke, as though he was trying to cheer him up. When Sasuke chuckled, Jin wagged his tail and rolled over onto his side, sprawling so that Sasuke could rub his belly. He did.

“I guess I should start going out more… It’s a bad sign when the longest conversation I had outside work this week, was with a dog.”

 

\-----

 

Sakura seemed distracted after she came back from the grocery shop. Naruto talked to her for a full minute before he realized that she wasn’t listening to a thing he said. He grabbed her hand as she was about to stack instant ramen into the cupboard. She looked at him as though he had sprung out of thin air.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Sakura blinked. “Yeah.” She seemed to shake out of her reverie and focused on the grocery bags again. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Naruto didn’t believe her, but he supposed she would tell him when she was ready.

“I don’t know how much you heard of what I said, but Tsunade told us to do a full revision of the article on Orochimaru’s latest exploits. Something to do with a lawsuit…”

“Naruto.” Sakura had stopped stacking. She sighed. “This isn’t working.”

Naruto blinked. “What? Tsunade was very clear about-“

“No, not that. I mean us.”

“…Us?”

“Yeah, us. We’ve been living together for a year now, and I’m starting to feel more and more like we’re just buddies sharing a flat. It’s great and all, that’s not the problem, it’s just that… I’m not really in love with you.”

“Y-you’re not?”

Sakura shrugged. “We go really well together and it’s always fun to hang out with you, but this girlfriend-boyfriend thing… it’s not working for me.”

Naruto stared down at a spot on the kitchen counter.

“I hope we can stay friends, though,” Sakura added softly.

Naruto nodded. He didn’t trust his voice.

Sakura hesitated before placing one hand on Naruto’s shoulder.

“Naruto, I know you don’t want to hear this, but someone has to say it. You’re not over him.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sakura cleared her throat. “Tell me, why did Sai leave you?”

Naruto groaned. “Don’t-“

“Was it after the third or tenth time you called him the wrong name?”

Naruto drew his hands over his face. “Did you have to remind me of that right now? As if it wasn’t enough that you’re leaving me, but you have to rub every other break up in my face too?”

“I’m not leaving you,” Sakura said. “We’re just never gonna sleep together again.”

Naruto chuckled weakly.

“Did you meet someone else?”

Sakura shook her head. “No.”

“So… You’re just leaving, then?”

“I’ll live with Ino and Choji while I look for a new place.”

She unclipped the flower necklace Naruto had given her, and placed it on the kitchen counter.

“I’m sorry Naruto, but I can’t date someone to whom I’ll always be second best.”

With those words she brushed past Naruto and grabbed her coat.

“I’ll be seeing you around…” she said awkwardly before she left, the door sliding quietly shut behind her.

Naruto stared at the necklace like it had bewitched him. Then he covered his face with his hands and sunk down to the floor.

 

\-----

 

Naruto slammed the door to Kiba’s apartment shut behind him, and was met by a gigantic, white dog that nearly bowled him down.

“Whoa, calm down Akamaru.” He laughed as the dog started thoroughly licking his face.

“Calm down, Akamaru,” Kiba said. “Just tell him to stop it. He gets a little too excited.”

“It’s fine,” Naruto said as he shrugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes. “I brought beer,” Naruto said, brandishing a grocery bag. “I thought we could watch some movies.”

Kiba shrugged. “Okay.”

They went into the spacious, barren living room. Kiba’s new apartment was largely empty, with the exception of a couch, the TV and a few crates. Yuki had taken everything with her that resembled a cozy home. It had been a while since they broke up, but Kiba hadn’t been himself ever since. He acted much the same, though with less bravado, but he would often become lost in thought, and more often than not he’d declined invitations to go out.

Naruto had been through the same thing, so he didn’t push it.

They watched the first part of the movie in silence.Kiba was barely sipping his beer.

Suddenly, in the middle of a car chase scene, he turned towards Naruto. “Hey, Naruto…”

“Hm?”

“I was just wondering… I have been thinking… There’s something…” Kiba scratched the back of his head.

Naruto watched him expectantly.

Then Kiba shook his head. “No. It was nothing.”

They continued watching the movie while Naruto wondered how he was gonna bring up that Sakura had left him. Before he knew it, he had emptied two cans of beer and was watching the end credits roll over the screen.

Kiba stretched. “Was there any special reason you wanted to come over?” he said. “You sounded a little strange on the phone.”

“Yeah, no… It was just… um… Sakura broke up with me.”

Kiba stared at him. “When?”

“A couple of hours ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me until now?”

Naruto shrugged. “Didn’t want to bother you about it.”

They watched the TV quietly for a moment.

“What did you do? Call her the wrong name?”

Naruto hit his thigh. “No! Why can’t you guys let that go?”

Kiba snorted. “It’s too good, man. I’m never gonna forget that time when Sai went off on you for calling him Sasuke.” He chuckled. “I have to admit, though, they look very much alike.”

“That’s not funny!” Naruto forced Kiba into a headlock and proceeded to knead the top of his head with his knuckles.

Kiba just kept laughing.

“I’m glad I can still make you laugh, at least,” Naruto grumbled as he released Kiba.

Kiba slumped back on the sofa. “You don’t seem very upset about Sakura.”

Naruto shrugged. “We were basically roommates with benefits. Though, I wish I had seen it coming.”

Kiba tapped his fingers on his thigh. “You’ve been a bit distracted lately.”

“Hm… It’s just a lot to do at work.” Naruto downed the last of his beer and stretched. “I feel like going out. Wanna hit the pub?”

“Nah… I’ve got, uh… I’ve got a date.”

“A date? With whom? Why haven’t I heard about this before?”

“Not that kinda date. It’s just a couple of beers with some old friends.”

“Can I come with?”

“Uh… Sure. Except, it’s kinda a school reunion thing with my old class from college, so… It’d probably just be boring for you.”

“Huh… Yeah, I guess.”

He checked his phone. “Hinata is visiting her parents this weekend, so Neji’s alone. Maybe he wants to go out…”

“You’re not going clubbing or anything?”

“No, I was thinking of just taking a drink. I don’t really want to talk to a lot of strangers tonight.”

 


	11. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should warn you that this chapter might take a bit of an unexpected turn... 
> 
> Betaed by heartsns ^^

Naruto met Neji at a fancy, new bar in the trendiest area in Konoha. It was Neji who had chosen it. Naruto would have been satisfied with a slightly less noisy and crowded place, but at least the music was so loud he couldn’t focus in his own confused thoughts.

They found a table at the back of the locale, where the music wasn’t so loud.

Naruto told Neji what had happened, and as expected he met understanding and comforting words. Neji was the best when it came to these kind of things. He seemed to always know what to say.

Naruto might have ordered a few drinks too many, but Neji didn’t say anything and Naruto honestly couldn’t care. His goal now was to get as wasted as possible.

He hadn’t meant to start talking about Sasuke, but suddenly he was mentioned, and then the conversation just naturally steered to him.

“I always got on reasonably well with Sasuke,” Neji said. “Can’t say the same for the others, though. Kiba and Sasuke was a clash.”

Naruto snorted. “Tell me about it.”

“Lee and Sasuke never understood each other, though I suppose they tolerated each other. Choji and Shikamaru… I’m not entirely sure what happened there, but it seemed to be a steel wall between them and Sasuke. And Ino never forgave him after that fight they had at that party.”

“She came on a little too strong,” Naruto said. “It’s just how she is. Always sitting in someone’s lap or touching someone’s hair. She doesn’t mean anything about it, but she was a bit drunk and she got a little touchy feely, and, well… you don’t get touchy feely with Sasuke. They were both drunk and they had a huge fight.”

“What about Choji and Shikamaru?”

“I’m not sure… They were on Ino’s side, of course. It turned into a huge thing, that whole incident. Both of them refused to apologize, and, well… Sasuke mostly kept away from them after that, so it never really got resolved.”

“He is a bit rigid,” Neji said. “If he found out he didn’t like someone, he didn’t really give them a second chance.”

“He was different with me,” Naruto said. “He opened up. The first time I saw him, it was in my first year of college, I knew that there was something special about him. I bet, if I had met him in high school I would have been pissed off just at the sight of him. He was so cool and handsome, you know. He was a chick magnet and he knew it, but he didn’t even seem to care. Fucking infuriating. But I had just started realizing I was attracted to guys, and he was really attractive, so when I saw him I knew I had to get to know him.” He shook his head. “He was so fucking difficult to get close to. No matter what I did, he just gave me that ‘you’re-lesser-than-me-so-get-out-of-my-way’-look. Kiba hated him from the first glance, and I pretended to hate him too, but I was just so head over heels for him, it wasn’t even funny.”

Naruto rubbed his face with both hands.

“I chased him for a year. The first time I made him smile was such a great feeling. Like… I knew that deep inside, he was lonely. And when he finally let me in it felt like I’d found the most amazing treasure.”

He smiled.

“Even after seven years I’d wake up and be amazed that he still was with me. That he’d chosen me. I think… I think I might have unintentionally screwed it all up for myself, because I couldn’t believe that it was possible to be that lucky. I kept expecting something to happen, something bad… Like, one day he’d just come over to me and say that he was leaving me.”

“So you left him first,” Neji said softly.

“It wasn’t even intentional,” Naruto said. “I… I just… I was so angry with him. I felt like I was suffocating in that relationship since I always had to exclude something of my own for his sake. It wasn’t like he forced me into neglecting myself, but he didn’t want to see my friends, and I like to spend a lot of time with my friends… I had to choose: him or them. And I didn’t want to make that choice, so I just… I hung on until I couldn’t take anymore. And I fucked up everything on the way…”

“You two are very different from each other,” Neji said. “So to be honest, I’m impressed it worked out so well for so long. He sought solitude and a few close friends, while you thrive when other people surround you. It isn’t so strange that you eventually couldn’t see eye to eye anymore.”

“I can’t help but feel like I could have done more, though,” Naruto said. “I was the one who broke up, so I’m the one who has to take the responsibility. He wanted to work something out, but… I just knew that it wouldn’t work out because I needed the little time with my friends that I already had. I couldn’t have compromised.”

He looked almost pleadingly at Neji, as though he begged him to agree.

“I think you’re beating yourself up unnecessarily over this,” Neji said. “Sometimes relationships don’t work out, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. It wouldn’t have been right to stay with Sasuke and neglect your friends if that didn’t feel right for you. You would have just started resenting him more for it.”

Naruto nodded. “I hope you’re right,” he said.

 

\-----

 

Sasuke was sitting by the bar, alone, staring miserably into his drink. After running into Sakura and being reminded about Naruto, he’d felt like he needed to get drunk. Sadly, his friends weren’t available this Saturday, so he’d gone alone. It was still a little quiet at the bar, but more and more people were coming in as the clock neared ten in the evening.

Someone stopped next to Sasuke, but he was getting so used to rejecting every single man that came up to him that he didn’t even bother to look up at the guy.

“Hey… Are you here alone?”

Sasuke’s heart jumped into his throat at the sound of that voice. He turned slowly, eyes narrowed at the man standing next to him.”

“Kiba…” Sasuke struggled to find words. “You’re at a gay bar.”

Kiba scratched his chin. “Well, yeah… I guess I am.”

“Did you get lost?”

“Not exactly… Mind if I sit here with you?”

Sasuke was too stunned to protest.

“Are you hiding from someone, or…?”

Kiba chuckled. “Is it so difficult to believe that I’m here of my own free will?”

“Yes.”

Kiba shrugged. “I guess life just throws you curveballs at times.”

Sasuke was starting to realize what was going on. Kiba, who’d always been so eager to prove his masculinity… all this time, he’d been gay?

Now Sasuke was starting to get over the shock. “So…” he said, leaning on the bar. “For how long did you know that you were gay?”

Kiba seemed uncomfortable with the word. He flinched. “I wouldn’t say-“

“How. Long.”

Sasuke knew his voice was icy, but he was getting pissed. Kiba had always had a problem with Naruto’s sexuality, at least if the way he belittled Sasuke was any indication. But now it turned out that all this time, he’d been exactly the same?

“I… I’m not exactly…” Kiba lowered his voice a bit. “Gay. I still fancy women, you know? But I just…” He shrugged.

“You occasionally fancy men as well?”

“Exactly!”

“I can’t believe this. You never allowed Naruto to accept his bisexuality, and now you’ve finally figured out you’re bi too?”

“I couldn’t know that I was… like this-“

“Bisexual.”

“…Yes…That.”

“Say it.”

“What?”

“I want you to say it. Out loud. You’re bi. Say it.”

Kiba frowned. “Hey, I’m not-“

Sasuke scooted closer. “Say it,” he ordered.

Kiba looked pissed. For a second Sasuke thought he’d walk out, but then he said through his teeth, “Fine. I’m bi. Happy?”

Sasuke shrugged. “What do I care?” He wondered why Kiba had come over to speak to him.

“I couldn’t know I was like this until I started feeling attraction towards a guy,” Kiba said quietly, picking up the thread from before.

“Does Naruto know?”

Kiba sighed. “No.”

Great. This encounter was turning out to be just as fun as it had seemed to be. Sasuke got a bad feeling.

“For how long have you known?” he asked.

“I didn’t understand it until a couple of months ago... But I guess I’ve felt this way for longer than that.”

Then at least he hadn’t been hiding it from them all while Sasuke dated Naruto. It was a small relief. “Why are you telling me all this?” Sasuke asked.

“Well… When I saw you sitting here… Shit. I feel bad, Sasuke. About how I treated you.”

Sasuke figured he was feeling guilty now because he knew how it felt to have to reduce yourself in the presence of others, to always feel like you were walking on needles, prone to fall into a trap any time.

“I mean, we never really clicked,” Kiba continued. “But I know I didn’t exactly make it easier for you. I never tried to include you, and, shit… When I think about the things I said to you… I’m sorry… I know it doesn’t make up for anything, but I just wanted you to hear it.”

An awkward silence stretched between them.

“Well…” Kiba stood. “I just wanted to say that, so… I guess I’ll leave you to it.”

Sasuke didn’t know what came over him. But just as Kiba was about to walk away, he called out to him. “The least you could do is buy me a drink.”

Kiba turned. He looked just as surprised as Sasuke felt. Then a small smile made it to his lips. “Yeah, sure.”

He was about to order them two beers, but Sasuke stopped him. 

“No, I’ll decide what we’re drinking.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Kiba asked when the drinks arrived.

Sasuke pushed one of the pink cosmopolitans over to Kiba.

“Very,” he said.

Kiba took a sip and grimaced. “Do you really drink this?”

“No, I can’t stand the taste. But I wanted to see you drink it.”

To Kiba’s credit, he did drink it all.

And then he ordered more drinks. Not a cosmo this time, but Sasuke forbid him from ordering beer so they made their way through various other drinks. A few too many in Sasuke’s case. He’d already been drinking before Kiba arrived, and with every new drink he felt his inhibitions slowly wash away. The fact that he didn’t care about that was probably the biggest problem. They started off talking about safe things like work, and Sasuke asked how Neji was doing. But in another fit of honesty, probably spurred by the alcohol, Kiba told the whole story about his break up with Yuki.

“So you’re on the rebound?” Sasuke said as he sipped from his mojito.

“I’m not exactly looking for anyone to hook up with. I just wanted to check if I really was, you know...”

“Bi,” Sasuke supplied helpfully. He’d never get tired of reminding Kiba. He put his drink down and turned towards Kiba. “So you haven’t had sex with a guy yet?”

Kiba blushed. “No,” he muttered.

“Hm… You’re missing out.”

Kiba didn’t say anything, and when Sasuke turned towards him to check if he was grimacing or something, he found that he was staring right at him with a weirdly unguarded look on his face. He hurried to cover it over when Sasuke looked at him, though, and ordered them more drinks. Sasuke should tell him not to, but getting mindlessly drunk on someone else’s bill was too good an opportunity to pass up. Especially since it was Kiba’s bill.

He didn’t know how much later it was when he stumbled out of the bar, leaning heavily on Kiba’s shoulder. Kiba wasn’t much steadier, so they almost careened into a group of people who were standing by the door.

“Sorry,” Kiba said and grinned at one of the women, who flipped him off.

Once they were outside, the cold air revived Sasuke a little. He straightened up and pushed Kiba a little away. He studied his face intently.

Then he placed one hand on each of Kiba’s cheeks, and leant in. Kiba looked shocked for a moment, like he thought Sasuke was gonna kiss him. But Sasuke just swayed slightly and said,

“I hate you.”

Kiba’s eyes widened a fraction, and then he averted his gaze.

“And I hate Naruto,” Sasuke added. “I hate you both.”

Kiba placed one hand on Sasuke’s arm. “Sasuke…”

Sasuke shook off the hand. “Stop touching me. I do hate you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry. It doesn’t change anything. Besides, it was Naruto’s fault. He shouldn’t have listened to you.”

“I don’t think he left because of anything I said.”

Sasuke gave him a glare that could have melted iron.

“What I meant,” Kiba hurried to add, “Was that he made his own decisions. I was shocked too. I’d always thought you’d be the one to leave.”

Sasuke turned away from Kiba. He took a few unsteady steps and steadied himself on a lamppost. “I live just up the street here, so…”He pointed with his thumb in the general direction of his apartment.

“You’re not planning to walk there?”

“Well, it seems kinda unnecessary to catch a cab for just two blocks.”

“Let me walk with you, then,” Kiba said and offered Sasuke his arm to lean on.

Sasuke ignored him. “I’m fine, thanks.”

He took one step and nearly collided with a woman in booty shorts and high heels. She glared at him as she passed him.

“I can’t let you go home on your own,” Kiba said. “Next thing you know, you’re gonna walk into a wall and knock yourself out.”

This time Sasuke grudgingly grabbed hold of Kiba’s arm and let him steady him along the street. Kiba wasn’t completely steady himself. At one point he grabbed Sasuke when he was about to stumble, which resulted in the both of them careening into a wall. They both started laughing because they knew they must look ridiculous.

Kiba’s arm lingered at Sasuke’s waist even after they had steadied themselves.

Once they reached Sasuke’s apartment complex, Kiba stood back.

“Well… Thanks for tonight,” he said, his hands buried deep in his pockets. “It was nice actually talking with you, for once.”

Sasuke smiled. “Same.”

They looked at each other for a long moment. Kiba didn’t move.

“You really look good tonight,” Kiba said. “Did I tell you that?”

Sasuke blushed. Damn it.

“I was jealous of you,” Kiba said quietly. “You make everything look so effortless. You never care what anyone thinks of you. You’re completely authentic, always. You could do things that I could only dream of.”

“Like what?” Sasuke asked, curious despite his annoyance.

Kiba shrugged. “I come from a family that enforces masculinity. Even my mother is more man than most men. It’s impossible for me to come out to them. I could never bring home a boyfriend.”

“Kiba… My parents are some of the most homophobic people on this earth. My father still denies that I’m gay.  My mother is probably planning which women she should introduce me to in the hopes that one of them will convert me. When I introduced them to Naruto….”

“I know that story,” Kiba said. “It’s still one of the worst in-law stories among our friends. But that’s exactly what I meant. You’re so strong. I could never have done what you did.”

Despite everything he knew about Kiba, despite their history, he felt warmed by Kiba’s praise. It had been three years, and although Sasuke had resented Kiba, he never hated him.

He was too much like Naruto for him to hate him.

He was too much like Naruto for Sasuke to think straight right now.

Kiba looked annoyingly good in his leather jacket and his black stonewashed jeans. Sasuke’s gaze dropped down along Kiba’s chest, lingered for a second too long on muscles barely defined underneath his white t-shirt.

He looked away when he realized that he had been staring.

It had been too long since he got laid when even Kiba started looking appealing.

He barely heard Kiba move closer. Suddenly he was right in front of him, looking at him with a strangely intent and open expression.

“Sasuke… I…” He hesitated. He lifted his hands as though he wanted to touch Sasuke, but let them drop again. “You always seemed so unapproachable…”

Sasuke couldn’t look away. It was like watching a train wreck.

“What are you doing?” he whispered. Were they really doing this? Had he gone insane?

Kiba looked at Sasuke, eyes wide.“Do you want me to stop?”

Sasuke knew he should say yes, but he didn’t.

Kiba leant in and kissed him. It was surprisingly soft.

He grabbed Sasuke and brought them closer, his fingers skimming over Sasuke’s waist, testing the feeling of holding a firm man’s waist, and not a supple woman’s.

Sasuke wondered if he found him lacking. He groaned. This felt too familiar.

Kiba opened his eyes and really looked at Sasuke. He grabbed his head with both hands and held him gently. “Damn…” he murmured. “You’ve got glitter on your eyelids.”

Sasuke averted his eyes. Here it comes: the judgment. He knew he shouldn’t have done this.

“You look beautiful,” Kiba said. Then he kissed Sasuke again. 

Sasuke let himself get lost in the sensation.“Fuck…” He held Kiba close. “I remember everything when I’m with you. You smell like him. Like Marlboro and beer.”

Kiba pressed his cheek to Sasuke’s. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry it turned out this way.”

Sasuke knew that he wasn’t talking about this night. But there was nothing they could do to change the past. Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s too late,” he whispered.

 

\-----

 

Sasuke woke with a start. He had a crazy dream. He’d met Kiba in a gay bar and then he’d ended up getting drunk and walking home with him and…

Sasuke sat up despite the fact that it made it feel like his head was splitting in two.

Aside from Jin, he was alone in the bed. That was a relief.

“Shit,” Sasuke murmured.

He grabbed his aching head and wished that the memories would stop jumbling around in there. It was just one big mess of embarrassment from beginning to end. Why hadn’t he just let Kiba leave when he had the chance? 

Why had he asked him to stay?

How could he have been so utterly stupid?

He’d fucked up everything.

He remembered bits and pieces of things that he had said to Kiba that night, each one worse than the next. He’d given away everything. He’d lain himself bare without an ounce of pride, and he’d shown himself like that to none other than his ex-boyfriend’s best friend. There was no way Kiba wasn’t telling Naruto this.

Except…

If Kiba told Naruto this, he’d basically be ruining things for himself. If Naruto didn’t know that Kiba went to gay bars, how was he going to be able to explain this away? No, most likely he wouldn’t tell Naruto or anyone else about this.

Sasuke had to hang onto that hope.

 

\-----

 

“Are you insane?!”

Sasuke shrank back at the volume in Karin’s voice. He rubbed his abused ear.

“Please, Karin… I can hear you just fine if you talk in a normal volume.”

“I’m with Karin in this,” Suigetsu said and crossed his arms. “What are you thinking with? Why are you getting chummy with the guy that’s the best friend of the ex that you’re still not over? The very same one that probably contributed to the two of you breaking up!”

“I’m over Naruto,” Sasuke bit out.

“Uh, no, you aren’t,” Karin said. “Do you think we don’t notice? That we don’t see that you still space out sometimes with that lost look on your face, just like you did three years ago? That we don’t know that you refuse to go out and meet new people because you think you won’t be able to find anyone like him? That we don’t notice how you tense every time you see someone with blonde hair the few times we actually manage to drag you out?”

Sasuke frowned. “I do all those things?”

Juugo nodded. “Yeah, you do.”

Sasuke shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. At least I did go out. Isn’t that what you’ve wanted me to do for the last few years?”

“Yeah, but not like this.” Karin threw herself down on the sofa next to Jin, who was stretched out on his blanket, hogging half the couch.Karin scratched Jin behind the ears.

“What do you even see in Kiba? Isn’t he everything that you couldn’t cope with in Naruto?”

Sasuke tried really hard not to react to the name, but he could see that all three of his friends noticed his reaction. Suigetsu shook his head in disappointment.

“He reminds you of him, doesn’t he?” Juugo asked.

He might not talk much, but when he did he was usually spot on. This was no exception. Sasuke turned away and walked over to the floor to ceiling window. He stared out towards the lake in the distance without really seeing it.

“Yeah,” he said.

“I knew it!” Karin exclaimed. She sounded anything but triumphant, though. “Are you seeing him again?”

Sasuke stared very intently at a gull which was standing on the ledge outside his window.

“Of course not.”

 


	12. Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by heartsns ^^

“I’m tired of looking at your miserable, moping face,” Ino said. “Tonight you’re going out with me and Choji and Shikamaru. I’m not letting you go back to that empty apartment alone.”

Naruto stared at her with the same empty look that he, moments before, had been directing at the computer screen.

“Hellooo?” Ino said, waving her hand in front of his face. “You really need to get out more.”

Naruto blinked. He didn’t know how Ino knew, but he’d been lost in a spiral of negative thoughts, starting with the recent break up with Sakura and gaining momentum as he buried himself in guilt and remorse about Sai and Sasuke.

“It’s not your fault,” Ino said in a gentler tone, as though she was reading his mind. “You’re a great guy, Naruto. The problem is just that good people usually draw the shortest straw. Anyway.” She patted his shoulder. “After work we’re taking you out, so be ready at five.” Ino was a hurricane. One moment she’d cuss you out and the next she’d pat your hair. Naruto knew that with her, he’d always get an honest opinion. It was both a blessing and a curse.

But she was right, though. He needed to get out more.

Normally, Kiba would be the one to get him out of the house, but for the past week he had completely secluded himself. It was a bit worrisome. Naruto had planned to drag him out one of these days, but this whole break up business was getting to him more than he’d anticipated.

Thanks to Ino, though, now he didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Ino, Shikamaru and Choji took him to an old barbeque place with worn tables and a dreary, dark pine interior, but with excellent service and great food. They managed to lift his spirits with their light conversation and easy banter. Also, the beer did help a lot.

Eventually he loosened up enough to start talking about his recent break up. Ino was a bit protective about Sakura, but Naruto had no need to drag her down. Instead he wondered if it was something wrong with _him_.

“The last few years have only been a long row of disasters,” he said. “I’m wondering if perhaps I wasn’t meant to share my life with anyone.”

Ino punched him in the shoulder hard enough that Naruto winced.

“That’s bullshit,” she said. “To me it seems like it isn’t the relationships that are the problem, but rather…” She paused, exchanging quick, mysterious glances with Shikamaru and Choji. “Listen, Naruto… What’s the one similarity between your two latest break ups?”

“Um…” He twisted his beer glass in lazy circles on the table. “I don’t know. Wha’ d’ya mean?” This time he narrowed his eyes at the three friends and their silent communication. Sometimes it was annoying how synchronized they were. Especially when Naruto was feeling a bit lonely already.

“The three of us have talked,” Shikamaru said, “and we feel a bit guilty because, well… It’s obvious that there’s one person who still has a lot of impact on you, and it’s ruining all of your attempts on starting a new relationship.”

Naruto froze. He was starting to see where this was going, and he didn’t like it one bit.

Shikamaru hurried to continue, as though he sensed a coming protest.

“We know we weren’t exactly very supportive of your relationship with Sasuke, and we’re really sorry if that had an impact on your break up. We know you’re a people person and you like to hang out with your friends, and if our feud with Sasuke kept you from doing that, then we are really shitty friends.”

The tirade of denial that had been building up in Naruto, wound down like a punctured balloon. He hadn’t expected the conversation to take this direction.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he began, but Ino spoke over him.

“It was my fault,” she said. “I swore that I could never ever talk to him again after that time when he was so rude to me. I mean, he could have told me off nicely. I know I can be clingy. But no, he had to completely humiliate me.” She sighed. “In hindsight I suppose I made a bigger deal out of than I needed to, and if he felt that I overstepped the line then I should be the one to apologize.” 

Naruto blinked to stop tears from forming. Ino had always been suborn, so it was such a relief to hear her say this. Unfortunately, the admission came seven years too late.

“I want to help patch things up between the two of you if I can,” Ino said. “It’s been years after all, and I'm silly for holding onto a grudge for so long.”

Shikamaru and Choji chimed in with her.

Naruto didn’t know what to say.

“It’s obvious you miss him,” Choji said. “You can’t hold onto any new relationships because they notice that you’re not one hundred percent invested in them. If you can’t forget about him, then perhaps you should crawl back to him and see if there’s something there worth salvaging.”

“Guys,” Naruto said, his voice thick. “It means a lot to hear this from you, but… I don’t know. It’s probably too late.”

“You don’t know if it’s too late until you’ve tried,” Ino said. 

That was true, but the problem was that Naruto dreaded trying. It was almost certain that his attempt would fail. After all, what were the chances that Sasuke still had feelings for him after all these years, and in addition was willing to forgive him?

 

\-----

 

Ino took the idea of patching up Naruto’s relationship with Sasuke very seriously. A few days later she told Naruto to put on his running shoes and meet her at the very same park where Naruto had seen Sasuke walk his dog all those years ago. Naruto had put up weak protests, but Ino had been relentless. 

“You need to find a chance to speak to him. Once you’ve established a connection, it’ll be easier to make contact with him again.”

“Isn’t this basically stalking?”

“Of course not. You’re just out running, right? When you meet him this way, you don’t have to be afraid of rejection, because you don’t have to outright ask him if he wants to try again. Instead, you can slowly make him used to seeing you around, and maybe he’ll even realize he’s missed you! Genius, right?”

Naruto hadn’t been entirely convinced. He took the tube and walked the four blocks until he stood outside the park. Ino was waiting for him at the south gate. She was not wearing running clothes, so apparently she expected him to do this on his own.

“He usually walks his dog in this park every afternoon,” Ino said.

Naruto frowned. “How do you know that?”

“I’ve seen him a few times on my way from work.”

Naruto couldn’t believe he was doing this. “But if I meet him, what should I say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just get him talking. Ask how he’s doing.”

“Won’t it be weird to just stop him like nothing’s happened?”

“It’ll be weirder to ignore him. He’ll probably feel inclined to share a few words with you, and that’s when you hit him with your charming smile and adorable stupidity.”

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that last part.”

“If he’s still got feelings for you, he’s gonna linger. Believe me.”

“Isn’t that my tagline?”

Ino pushed him forward. “Come on. Go, go!”

Naruto walked along the gravel path with his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket. In his running clothes he blended perfectly in with most of the others in the park. He started jogging slowly, keeping an eye on everyone around him. Every tall, black-haired guy with a black trench coat almost sent him running in the other direction, but it always turned out to be a stranger. Then, as he was getting a bit more confident, he saw him.

He was wearing a black trench coat, just as Naruto had thought, and he was walking a tawny, energetic dog. He looked every bit as handsome as Naruto remembered. He hadn’t seen Naruto yet, and in a moment of utter cowardice, Naruto sprang off from the main path and down a narrower path that led to a small duck pond.

He stopped to catch his breath next to some kids who were feeding the ducks.

Shit.

One moments lack of control, and he was making a run for it.

He knew Ino would be disappointed in him, so he decided that he’d tell her he hadn’t seen Sasuke at all.

 

\-----

 

Naruto started making it a habit of taking a walk in the park, not necessarily because he hoped to meet Sasuke, but because he realized that the fresh air and exercise did him good. He should probably hit the gym more often than he did, and it was showing. He’d always had a bit of tummy fat, and though it didn’t really bother him that he didn’t have a six-pack, lately he had gained a bit too much weight.

He’d need to work it off if he should have any chance of getting Sasuke back.

Though, Sasuke had always seemed to enjoy Naruto’s slightly more solid and thicker build. Sasuke was leaner, and though he was really soft for a guy, he did have the sinewy, elegant build of a dancer. 

Shit. He really missed him.

After a while he stopped worrying about unexpectedly running into Sasuke. He made sure he was at the park at times when it was less likely that he’d meet him. He wasn’t entirely ready to meet him yet, but soon… soon he’d be.

That’s what he told himself anyway.

He used to go out running in the weekend. It was getting warmer in the weather and today people were even sunbathing and having picnics on the lawn. There was more people in the park, but that meant it would be easier to slip away unnoticed if he were to catch sight of Sasuke. He was running along a gravel path lined with trees and bushes when a dog suddenly came barging through some shrubbery. Its leash was trailing along behind it. Naruto reflexively reached out to grab it, and managed to reel in the run away. He took off his headphones.

“Hey there,” he said to the dog, who wagged its tail happily. It really was an adorable dog.

“Where’s your owner?” He looked around.

A woman sitting on a blanket on the lawn nearby was waving at him. She had short, blue hair in a bob and a rounded belly underneath her shift dress.

She was sitting next to a man. The man got to his feet, and Naruto had taken several steps towards him before he recognized him.

His steps faltered.

He should have known that this would happen sooner or later. He’d just hoped that he’d be more prepared for it.

Sasuke looked good in blue jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, though it was an unusual look on him.

”Thank you!” The woman called. “He got away from us! He’s so energetic!”

Sasuke came towards Naruto, and that was when Naruto realized he himself had stopped walking.

”Is he yours?” Naruto said with a nervous smile when Sasuke reached him, though he already knew the answer. A few warning bells should have gone off already when he first saw the tawny dog.

“Yes.” Sasuke took the leash. “Thanks for catching him,” he said without meeting Naruto’s eyes. 

It was like a rush of electricity ran through Naruto’s every cell at the sound of Sasuke’s voice.

His heart ached in his proximity.

“It was nothing,” Naruto managed to choke out.

There was a strange pause where Naruto desperately tried to think of something to say to stop Sasuke from leaving.

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, like he was about to say something more. Naruto clung to that small hesitation.

“I didn’t know you were a ladies man now,” he said, glancing over at the beautiful blue-haired woman who was watching them, waiting for Sasuke to return.

“I’m not,” Sasuke said, his voice going flat in deadpan exasperation. It reminded Naruto of days long past when Sasuke would use that same, almost fond but mostly annoyed tone when Naruto said something stupid.

“She’s Itachi’s fiancée.”

“Oh! Itachi’s gonna be a father?” Naruto grinned. “I’m happy for him. Surprised, but happy.”

“People keep saying that.”

Naruto was happy that the woman was not Sasuke’s girlfriend, and relieved that Sasuke was actually willingly talking to him without looking like he wanted to escape. He was desperate to keep the conversation going so that Sasuke wouldn’t leave.

“I bet you parents are thrilled.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “At least the pressure is off me. They don’t care too much about what I do now, since they’ve finally got an Uchiha heir.”

“Good for them,” Naruto said.

He saw Itachi return to his fiancée with three cones of ice cream. Itachi looked over when the woman pointed towards them and his eyes lingered on Naruto.

Sasuke followed Naruto’s line of sight.

“Itachi’s back. I better rejoin them.” He pulled on the leash, halting the dog’s eager exploration of a nearby bush.

Naruto couldn’t think of anything else to say to make Sasuke stay. Was this it? Even such a small conversation made his heart ache in longing for what they once had. He couldn’t help but wonder it they still would have been together now, if he hadn’t left. Would they have been happier? Or would they have fallen apart anyway?

“Sasuke,” he said.

Sasuke hesitated.

“I…” Naruto couldn’t make his tongue function. He didn’t know what to say. He just wished there was some way to make everything okay again, like it had used to be all those years ago. “I wish you all the best, and…”

_I still love you._

Sasuke smiled ever so slightly. “You too,” he said, and then he had turned and walked away.

 

\----

 

“Was that your ex?” Konan asked when Sasuke returned to them. “He’s a handsome devil.” 

Sasuke sat down cross-legged on the blanket and accepted the ice cream cone that Itachi offered him.

“What did he want?” Itachi asked.

“He just happened to walk by. Jin ran out on us and he caught him.”

“What are the odds?” Konan said and laughed. “He seemed to still be into you.”

Sasuke shook his head. He licked a drop of lemon sorbet from his thumb. “I doubt it.”

“Why? Because he ended it? That doesn’t mean he doesn’t regret it.”

“He was always on his knees for you,” Itachi said. “I kept waiting for him to come crawling back, but he’s always been very proud. Like someone else I know. It’s obvious you still feel something for each other. Even from here I could see that Naruto brightened up when he talked to you.”

Sasuke wasn’t convinced.

“I fooled around with his best friend, though, so I guess that ship has sailed now if it hadn’t already.”

Itachi and Konan stared at him.

“You did _what_?” Itachi said.

Sasuke sighed.

“When did this happen?” Itachi pushed.

“A few weeks ago...”

“Ouch,” Konan said. “Kinda weird to meet your ex after that.”

“Hold on,” Itachi said. “Can you please explain this?”

“I went out to take a few drinks. I met Kiba, and…”

“Kiba?” Itachi sounded utterly stunned. “You can’t stand him.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“Ohh.” A teasing grin spread on Konan’s lips. “Hatefucking? Wow, I didn’t think you had it in you, Sasuke.”

Sasuke broke of a piece of the ice cream cone with his teeth. It tasted a little too sweet.

“It was just kissing…”

“Hm… Shame. Some of the best sex I’ve had has been with people I thought I hated. It’s so much wilder.” She finally noticed the look Itachi was giving her. “Don’t look at me like that. I had a life before you, you know.”

“That doesn’t mean I need to hear every tiny detail of it.”

She leant forward and nudged his chin.

“Aw, but you like it when I put every tiny detail of that knowledge to use.”

Sasuke smirked. It was refreshing to meet someone who wasn’t in the least intimidated by Itachi.

Itachi had to smile too, and leant forward to kiss Konan.

Sasuke hoped for a second that he was off the hook, but Itachi hadn’t forgotten about him.

“I thought Kiba was straight.”

“Not so straight after all.”

“I hope he isn’t looking to humiliate you somehow,” Konan said. “If he does, I’ll track him down and personally give him a beating he won’t forget.”

“He risks more than I do by telling people what happened,” Sasuke said. “To his friend’s knowledge, he’s still straight.”

“Hm… I think I’m seeing a pattern here,” Konan said. “This is the same guy that made your life hell while you were still dating your ex, wasn’t it? Sounds like he might have feelings for you. If he’s deep in the closet, then it would be very frustrating for him to feel attracted to a guy, especially one who is his best friend’s boyfriend.”

“I don’t know…” Sasuke said. “I don’t think he’s got feelings for me.”

“The fact that he kissed you in the first place kinda indicates feelings, though.”

Sasuke hadn’t thought about that. It seemed too farfetched… But if it was true, it really complicated things.

“I don’t see how that whole business with this Kiba guy should keep you from trying to patch things up with Naruto, anyway,” Konan said. “People make mistakes. It was a drunken mishap. You had history with the guy and things escalated. Besides, you don’t ever need to tell Naruto about it.”

The thought of keeping something like that from Naruto didn’t sit well with him. Either way, this was just hypothetical. Realistically speaking, them getting back together was unlikely. They’d had their time in the sun, but now it was over. The fact that his stupid heart started to soar with hope at such ridiculous ideas just made everything worse.

 

\-----

 

Ino got overly excited when Naruto told her about his brief meeting with Sasuke in the park.

“This is like in a movie! You bump into him unaware, you talk, he realizes he loves you, and BAM!” 

“It was nothing like that,” Naruto said. “If anything, it made me feel farther from him than ever.”

“Bullshit. Now the first seed have been placed. Time for phase two. Listen. I know a lot of important people and one of them can arrange for me to get into a party where only the rich and famous are invited. Do you realize what this means?”

“That you have a lot of free time?”

Ino punched his shoulder.

“Ouch.” Naruto pouted. “That hurts.”

“Stop being an idiot. It means that Sasuke might be there!”

“Ino, let’s be realistic. Sasuke abhors parties. He’s not gonna be there.”

“Think about it; if he’s single he gonna want to mingle, and this party is like paradise for single people in his social circle.”

“We don’t even know if he’s single,” Naruto muttered.

“His Facebook says he is.” 

“How do you know that? Are you friends with him?”

“No… but Neji is.”

“Well… Either way, his Facebook was probably last updated a hundred years ago. No, scratch that; he had to change his status back to single three years ago because I snuck in and changed it to ‘in a relationship’ after we had been together for two years. Do you understand now how little he cares about those kinda things?”

Ino rolled her eyes. “On the bright side, though: _if_ he is single, he’ll probably be at that party!”

 

\-----

 

The lofty penthouse apartment was stuffy and crowded, just as Sasuke had feared. He couldn’t believe Karin had managed to drag him out there, but she had mercilessly used his vulnerability against him.

“Do you want to sit here alone until you become an old man?” She had asked.

“…No,” Sasuke, who had been curled up in front of the TV in old sweats and a frayed, grey t-shirt ever since he met Naruto in the park, had muttered.

He hated when she was right.

So that’s how they ended up here, among the high society of Konoha. Karin was just as well versed in moving through this world as Sasuke was. All of Sasuke’s close friends walked in the same circles as him: the ones of the rich and wealthy. They had known each other vaguely since childhood, but what really brought them together was their united dislike of the society of charades and sickening opulence that they had grown up in, expected to sacrifice everything to maintain the perfect exterior.

It could as well have been his family’s motto.

They had been mingling for half an hour (Sasuke had been checking the time every other minute). He was getting ready to call it quits when Karin grabbed his arm.

“What’s _he_ doing here?” she said.

Sasuke looked in the direction she was staring.

Naruto.

His heart made a funny little flip.

He was there together with Ino, Choji and Shikamaru. 

How had they gotten in? Why were they even here?

Sasuke grabbed Karin’s arm and pulled her with him through the throng, away from Naruto and his friends.

“If _they’re_ with him, it isn’t good,” he said.

“Hey, slow down,” Karin said. “Do you realize what this means?”

“What?”

“He’s here for you!”

Sasuke had to admit that it was the most plausible explanation, but could he really allow himself to believe it?

“Why would he be here for me?”

“Duh.” Karin slapped his arm. “It must have taken them a lot of time and effort to get into this party, and to what end? Since there’s bound to be a lot of your associates here, they could be pretty certain that you’d be here.”

Sasuke hesitated. “He knows I don’t like parties,” he said in a last attempt to dissuade her… and himself.

“Don’t be such a pessimist. This is a unique opportunity to talk to him.”

She gave him a small push in the direction of the door, but by now Naruto and his friends had already disappeared in the crowd.

Sasuke wondered if Karin could be right… Was Naruto really here for him? Reaching out to him first wasn’t tempting, though. If he were mistaken, then Naruto would surely not want to talk to him.

Then he remembered how Naruto had smiled when he met him at the park, and he wondered… Could it really be?

Karin was talking to a handsome, tall man in a tailored suit. He was wearing a goddamned waistcoat in brocade. This might be a cocktail attire event, but there were limits to how pompous you needed to be.

Karin flew from one man to the next more easily than most bees flew between flowers. Unfortunately, she had a taste for the most self-centered and pretentious ones.

Sasuke left her to it.

He circled the room, sipping on one champagne flute after the next, trying to pretend that he wasn’t searching for Naruto. The truth was that he’d stopped keeping an eye on his watch the moment Naruto arrived.

It was incredible how easily such an eye-catching person could disappear. Maybe he left already?

He went over to the bar and ordered something stronger. He gave Naruto another half an hour. Then he would leave.

He didn’t have to wait for long.

As he finished off his whisky, someone sat down next to him.

Sasuke made to order another drink, but the person next to him beat him to it.

“Two more of what he’s having,” a very familiar voice said.

A gentle shockwave blossomed through his body, just the way it had done that day in the park when he realized that the person who had caught Jin was Naruto.

Sasuke didn’t turn to face him. Not just yet. He had to school his face into an appropriate expression first.

“Hi,” Naruto said softly.

Sasuke accepted the drink that was placed in front of him.

“I hadn’t expected to see you here,” he said.

Naruto gave a small, awkward chuckle. “Yeah… Ino insisted, so…” he trailed off. “She keeps telling me I need to get out a bit more.”

“That’s what Karin told me as well.”

There was a moment of silence where Sasuke could practically feel the tension between them as a physical thing. He didn’t know how to dispel it.

Naruto leant forward and twisted the glass in small circles on the bar top. It was a bad habit of his; it usually meant that he was a bit anxious.

“How are you doing?” Naruto finally asked.

There was a somber honesty in the question. Maybe Sasuke was just imagining things, but he thought he felt a sense of worry or regret in his voice.

He was probably just imagining it.

“Good,” Sasuke said. “What about you?”

“Great.” Naruto’s smile looked forced. “I still work at the Leaf. Tsunade is the same old hag, always on by back about something.”

The corner of Sasuke’s mouth twitched. Despite everything, Naruto could still make him smile.

“How are Itachi and his fiancée?” Naruto asked, a little bolder now.

“They’re doing well. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Itachi so happy before.”

“Did they plan the pregnancy, or…?”

Sasuke chuckled softly. “What do you think? Itachi would probably have used another five years to make up his mind. But they’re both in their mid thirties so I think they felt ready to start a family.”

Naruto was grinning and his happiness was contagious.

“Nice suit,” Sasuke said, arching one eyebrow as he gave Naruto a dubious once-over. He was wearing a maroon suit, a black shirt, and a mint green tie. It was a complete clash. He couldn’t believe Ino had let him leave the house like that.

Naruto laughed. “Thanks. I can hear your sincerity. I had to borrow it from my dad."

“What happened to your own suit?”

Naruto shrugged. “Uh… I think I forgot it when… Well, it’s probably among your clothes.”

Sasuke thought back. There were still a lot of the clothes from their old apartment that he hadn’t unpacked yet.

The reminder of their less than clean break up put a damper on the mood.

Naruto ordered them two more drinks.

He took a huge gulp of the whisky.

“I’m not here just because Ino wanted me to come,” Naruto said. He wasn’t looking straight at Sasuke, but rather at a point by his hands. “I was hoping you’d be here.”

Sasuke felt the breath stop in his throat for half a second. Then he silently told himself to get a grip on it. He couldn’t show Naruto how pathetically desperate he’d been to hear that.

Naruto bit his lip.

“I’m sorry…” he said, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you, back then. For not standing up for you. I’ve thought of a thousand excuses for how I acted. I imagined telling you each and every one of them. But in the end, now that I’m sitting here with you, I can see that there are no excuses. I was an ass, and I’m sorry.”

Sasuke should have known. He should have known all along that Naruto would come through. He always did. He wasn’t a cruel person, though for the first year after the break up, Sasuke had thought there couldn’t exist someone worse.

He’d had a lot of time to think things through since then, though, and he’d realized that it wasn’t all Naruto’s fault that they broke apart. Their relationship had been suffering for at least a year already when Naruto started acting out. That was even before Kiba became a more constant part of their life. Kiba’s meddling had just stirred up repressed problems.

Naruto rubbed his forehead.

“I made a mistake when I broke up with you,” he said softly. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and I pushed you away.” He sighed. “Sorry, I’ve been drinking a bit too much… Makes me emotional.”

He tried to smile, but the smile wavered.

“Anyway… Me being sorry is probably the last thing you want to listen to tonight… It was nice seeing you, though.” Naruto stood, grabbed the edge of the bar to steady himself, and then released it carefully. He gave Sasuke one last, sad look and walked away.

“Wait,” Sasuke said.

Naruto stopped immediately. The hopeful puppy dog look on his face reminded Sasuke so much of Jin that he had to smile.

“Are you leaving already?” Sasuke said.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. “Well… I thought…”

“Sit down,” Sasuke said. Then he ordered them two more drinks.

“So… Does this mean that you forgive me?” Naruto asked nervously. He was sitting on the edge of his chair, as though he was preparing himself for rejection.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Sasuke said.

Naruto blinked. “But…”

“Listen, we were both at fault for letting our relationship capsize. You were the only sane one out of the two us, who realized that we either had to call it quits, or ruin each other.”

Naruto was staring at him as though Sasuke had started talking a completely different language.

“I would have clung to you until there was nothing left of us,” Sasuke said, even though it was painful to admit it. “You know how bad I am at bonding with people. The whole farce with your friends is proof enough. It takes a lot to like me.”

“That’s not true! There’s no excusing what some of my friends did. Maybe you guys didn’t go that well together, but they could have tried harder for my sake. Fuck, I should have pushed them harder for your sake.”

Sasuke was surprised at how much Naruto’s words touched him. He hadn’t been aware how much he needed to hear those words from him until he did.

“Ino was the one who pushed me into coming here,” Naruto said. “She want’s to apologize for how she acted towards you. Shikamaru and Choji regret the way they acted too. I know it might not mean much at this point…” he shrugged. “I should have said all of what I’m saying now back then. I should have listened to you. Instead I just got angry.”

“It means a lot to hear you say that,” Sasuke said. He noticed that he had turned towards Naruto and was leaning a little closer to him. Naruto was doing the same. “But I can’t let you take responsibility for everything. Yes, some of your friends might be jerks at times, but I could have given your friends a chance. Instead I avoided them. And let’s be fair, I can be a jerk too.”

Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but Sasuke cut him off. 

“I know how I can be. I’ve learned to ward off people before they come too close, because in my experience they only want what I represent, and not me as a person. I’ve also learned that people for some reason love to hate me, even though they don’t know me. To me, it’s easier to let people hate me than to have them leave me, so I give them a reason to hate me. I push them away, I’m rude; and people are so easy to insult, so easy to hurt and to push away.

Most people, aside from you. You’re the only person I couldn’t push away. I tried. You know I tried. But you persisted, and eventually I had to let you in. I always feared that you would leave me one day. That you would see the true me, and realize you couldn’t love me.”

Sasuke looked away. He took another gulp of his whisky. He felt fingers brush his hand. Naruto’s hand closed around his, holding it carefully. Sasuke continued without looking at Naruto.

“I eventually succeeded in pushing you away.”

Naruto touched Sasuke’s chin and tipped it up. His blue eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

“If I had known you were thinking like this… Sasuke… From the moment I first saw you, I knew that you were worth every effort I had to put in to get to know you. Usually, people play nice to get friends, you know? Like, everyone hide their worst sides until later. I knew your worst sides from the beginning.”

He chuckled a bit and Sasuke had to smile.

“I knew exactly what I was getting into. It was my bad sides that I had been hiding that ruined us in the end. My cowardice and my insecurities. I thought you were too good for me. I thought that you would leave me once you saw what a lame person I was. I thought I didn’t deserve you.”

His bottom lip wobbled a little, and he bit it to keep it still. He closed his eyes briefly to collect himself.

“So you left me first,” Sasuke said softly. 

Naruto nodded.

There was a long moment of silence.

“How fucked up is that?” Sasuke said.

Naruto chuckled. He downed the rest of his drink.

“We were both expecting to be dumped?” Sasuke continued. “No wonder it didn’t work out.”

“Aren’t many relationships like that, though? Like, there’s often an imbalance. One thinking they’re better or worse than the other… usually worse, I guess. It’s almost human nature to hate oneself.”

“Not human nature,” Sasuke said. “It’s taught. Not directly, but we’re constantly reminded of how worthless and lacking we are by everything and everyone we see around us. Sometimes even by our own parents.”

Naruto met Sasuke’s eyes and didn’t look away. Sasuke felt the longing for him in every cell in his entire body. It hurt not to be allowed to hold him. To kiss him.

“Sasuke…” Naruto still had tears in his eyes. “I still love you. That never changed.”

Sasuke closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure he could take this…“I…” He lifted one hand and placed it against Naruto’s cheek. It was wet where a tear had fallen. “I still love you too.”

He felt Naruto’s warmth as he leant closer, his breath on his lips, and then his mouth, gentle, like the touch of a butterfly. He leant into the kiss, his lips parting. Naruto sighed and carded his hands through Sasuke’s styled hair.

Sasuke extracted himself with difficulty and rested his forehead against Naruto’s.

“I’ve missed the way you taste,” he whispered, “and the way you smell…”

He breathed in the familiar scent of Naruto’s cologne and the subtle, lingering scent of his shampoo. He smelled exactly the same as he’d always done.

Sasuke knew that it was the liquor talking when he said what he said next, but he didn’t care… He wanted this so badly.

“Should we…?” he said.

It took a moment before Naruto caught on. His eyes widened, and he nodded. “My place?”

Sasuke gulped down the rest of his drink. Then he stood. “After you.”

Naruto chuckled. “What a gentleman.”

 


	13. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by heartsns ^^

Naruto slammed the door shut behind them, and pushed Sasuke up against the wall. Their mouths collided in a hungry kiss. The whole taxi ride they’d kept an almost painful distance to each other. Sasuke had begun fearing that Naruto had changed his mind. He looked focused, staring out the window.

But once they got out of the car, he hurried Sasuke along up to his flat, and here they were.

Sasuke buried his fingers in Naruto’s soft, ruffled hair. It always looked like he hadn’t touched a brush in his life, but his hair was simply untamable.

Naruto rutted against Sasuke, his hard cock pressing into Sasuke’s hip. Sasuke realized that he would  be capable of coming in his own pants just at the feeling of Naruto’s eager body against his.

He halted Naruto.

“Bed,” he breathed.

In an impressive show of strength, Naruto picked Sasuke up and carried him to the bedroom, where his strength finally left him and he tumbled onto Sasuke as he dropped him on the bed. Once he got his breath back, Sasuke laughed.

Naruto chuckled sheepishly. The room was shrouded in darkness. They hadn’t had the time to put on any light. The only light source was the yellow glare from a street light that shone in through the bedroom window.

Naruto sat up between Sasuke’s legs and started fumbling with his tie.

Sasuke untucked Naruto’s shirt and started unbuttoning it from below.

“Fuck,” Naruto panted. “I can’t get this ugly tie off.”

Sasuke grabbed the end of the tie and pulled on it so that Naruto had to lean over him. “Did you wear it just to annoy me?” His eyes were getting used to the semi-darkness, and he could see that Naruto was grinning.

“Yup. Got your attention, didn’t it?”

“It’s horrible,” Sasuke said. “Your whole get-up is. How could you make yourself leave the house like this?”

“My only regret is that I couldn’t find my orange shirt.”

Sasuke threw the tie to the side and popped the last few buttons of Naruto’s shirt. Naruto sat up, and the shirt fell open over his chest. Sasuke stared.

“I hope you appreciate it,” Naruto said, “because I took off five pounds for your sake.”

Sasuke had thought that he was already turned on, but it was nothing in comparison to what he felt now. Naruto looked good. The muscles in his stomach were just barely defined, and his waist looked slimmer. Sasuke ran his hands down Naruto’s chest to his hips.

“I do appreciate it,” he murmured.

He unbuttoned Naruto’s pants and pulled them down to his thighs along with his boxers. His cock sprang free and Sasuke felt a small shiver run through his core at the sight.

He needed Naruto to fuck him.

_Right._

_Now._

He met Naruto’s eyes, and saw the same desperate desire as he himself felt.

Then it was as though something snapped. Suddenly Naruto was tearing off Sasuke’s clothes, and Sasuke was helping him as best he could, arching his back so that Naruto could pull off his pants and simultaneously unbuttoning his shirt.

He heard Naruto open a drawer, and when he leant back over Sasuke, he placed two wet fingers over his asshole. Sasuke jolted when he was breached because it happened so suddenly, but it wasn’t painful. He was soon panting and writhing while Naruto thrust two and then three fingers deep inside of him, curling them and rubbing his prostate with impeccable precision. He reapplied lube and it squelched when he pushed back inside. Sasuke strained against those unsatisfactory fingers.

“Use your cock,” he growled.

Naruto groaned. Then he pulled out and sat back, rolled on a condom with deft, albeit a little shaky, fingers, and then he leant over Sasuke, grabbed his shoulder and thigh, and bodily flipped him right over onto his stomach.

Sasuke gasped.

Naruto held a light hand on the small of his back, making sure he stayed put.

“Don’t…” Sasuke groaned. “I want to see you…”

“Not time for that now,” Naruto said, his gravelly voice sending a shiver through Sasuke. He leant forward, pressing his chest down against Sasuke’s back.

“If I watch your face now, I’m gonna cum.”

Sasuke breath stuttered slightly. He moaned when Naruto effortlessly picked him up by the hips, baring his ass to the thick cock that slipped in between his ass cheeks. Sasuke pushed a pillow in underneath his stomach, keeping his hips elevated.

The thick, plump head of Naruto’s cock pushed against his resisting asshole. Sasuke fought to relax. He was desperate to have Naruto inside him. He felt the tip of the cock push inside, stretching him wide open. He groaned into the pillow under his head.

Naruto pushed on carefully but persistently, his veined shaft rubbing against Sasuke’s sensitive ring of muscles. He was gentle, stopping often to make sure Sasuke adjusted, and soon the pressure of that thick cock inside him outweighed the sting of the stretch.

Sasuke was pressed slack-jawed into the pillow with each small thrust. For each thrust, Naruto sunk deeper. Sasuke had forgotten how good it used to be. How Naruto could ignite his whole body with just a few words or the right attention to the right places. His voice alone could get Sasuke hot and bothered in no time. That fiery attraction had disappeared at some point, but now it was back with a vengeance.

“I-I’m gonna come…” Sasuke gasped. He couldn’t take even one more slide of Naruto’s cock without bursting, and Naruto wasn’t even fucking him properly. He just clenched Sasuke’s hips tight and sort of rolled his hips, making sure his cock was always deeply buried inside Sasuke, the thick base stretching Sasuke with such a deliciously sweet sting that he was close to tears.

Sasuke didn’t need to touch himself. He just angled his hips up just as Naruto bore down on him, and gasped that Naruto needed to move faster. Naruto eagerly did, and soon Sasuke felt his whole body clench in anticipation as the orgasm rolled over him like syrup. He’d forgotten how good it was to come like that. Slower, but so much more intense. He was pretty sure he teared up a bit. The heat pooled in his lower abdomen and radiated out into every limb until he was so spent he could barely hold himself suspended anymore.

Naruto caught him before he collapsed and laid down behind him, burying his nose in his hair, waiting for him to wind down. Sasuke could feel Naruto’s erection poke the small of his back, but Naruto didn’t make any move to get himself off.

Only when Sasuke finally was breathing more normally and the feeling returned to his limbs did he roll over onto his back and then onto his side so that he was facing Naruto. He grabbed his cock. It was still so hard that it looked close to bursting, and Naruto moaned when he was touched.

Sasuke shuffled closer so that the tip rubbed against his stomach. He took a good grip at the base of Naruto’s cock and jerked upwards, pushing the tip against his stomach with each movement. Naruto ducked down and hid his face in the warm hollow of Sasuke’s throat. He clutched Sasuke closer and started rutting against him. Sasuke used both hands and, knowing Naruto’s body as well as he did, he soon got him off with a soft, huffed gasp.

Sasuke tried to stay awake to cuddle with Naruto, but it was a lost battle. He should have washed off, was his last absent thought as he drifted off to sleep.

 

\-----

 

Sasuke was disoriented for a second when he woke up. He didn’t recognize the room, nor did he remember clearly what he did yesterday… Then the memories came back in a jumble, and disbelief settled in.

Had he really gone home with Naruto? Or was it just a dream that they slept together? He snaked one hand into the tangle of sheets next to him. There was definitely another person with him in the bed. He pulled the sheet away from the persons face. Sunshine hair, tan skin, scarred cheeks.

His heart soared in his chest.

It was true.

Naruto was there with him.

Naruto’s blue eyes opened slowly, looking right at Sasuke as though he’d known he’d be there even before he woke up. A slow, sleepy smile spread on his face.

“Hi,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Sasuke smiled back. “Hi.”

“You’re not a dream?”

“No. Do I need to pinch you?”

Naruto chuckled. “No, please don’t. I believe you.”

Sasuke heard a soft mew, and then a black cat jumped onto the bed. He was surprised, to say the least.

“Is that your cat?”

“Mhm… Come here, Bas.” The cat strolled over and purred when Naruto rubbed its jaw.

“I was convinced you’d get a dog the second I was out the door.”

“You wound me! Besides, you’re the one who got a dog the second I was gone.”

“It was a gift from Juugo. He practically threw Jin at me.”

“And you kept him?”

“Of course. I’m not heartless. Besides, waking up to being licked in the face by a dog almost made me feel like I was back with you again.”

Naruto shoved Sasuke, who laughed.

“Did you miss me that much?” Naruto teased.

Sasuke scoffed. “Hardly. It was a relief not to have to pick up your dirty laundry every day.”

Naruto huffed. “Well, I didn’t miss you either. I could slobber as much as I wanted and no one cared.”

Sasuke’s nose wrinkled. “So that’s what the stench is.”

Naruto shoved him again. Then he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. He pressed his face against the side of Sasuke’s neck.

“I actually missed your nagging,” he murmured.

Sasuke kissed Naruto’s forehead. “And I missed your whining.”

Naruto pouted. “I don’t whine.”

“You just did. You’re worse than Jin.”

Naruto chuckled. The black cat wasn’t done with them. He wanted more attention, and stepped onto Sasuke’s chest. He sat down there and started purring. Sasuke scratched him behind the ears.

“What was it you called him? Bas?”

“Yeah…” Naruto hesitated for a moment. Then he added, “It’s short for bastard.”

Sasuke stared at the black, ragged cat with the missing eyes.

Bastard? As in…?

Sasuke laughed. “Did you miss me that much?”

When they first met, they had called each other derogatory words as a twisted form of flirting, and the names bastard and moron had stuck long into their relationship. It was only a year or so before their break up that the nicknames got a poisonous edge, and they had stopped using them altogether.

“I have a confession to make too,” Sasuke said.

“Oh, I’m all ears,” Naruto said with a wide grin.

He was probably hoping for something juicy. “Do you remember when you told me about your big comic book heroes from your childhood, the nine jinchuuriki?”

“Huh? Yeah, I babbled about them a lot when we first met, didn’t I?”

“You had posters of them in your dorm room. In college.”

Naruto blushed. “Well… What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I had trouble finding a name for Jin, and, well…”

“Oh… Oh!” Naruto laughed so hard he had to dry away tears. “We’re so fucking hopelessly stupid.”

Sasuke chuckled. He cradled Naruto’s head closer and placed a kiss on top of his head.

Though it was nice to lie there together, they needed breakfast

“I’ll go make coffee,” he said.

Naruto held him back when he tried to sit up. “Wait. Just a little while longer.”

Sasuke sank back on the bed. “Okay. But just a few minutes.” It didn’t take long before he was asleep again.

 

\-----

 

“I wanna take you out on a date,” Naruto said.

Sasuke had put on his shoes and was ready to leave. Naruto stood leant against the doorway in the small, cramped hallway.

One part of Sasuke thought that going on dates was hardly necessary seeing as they’d done enough of it when they first started dating. Another part of him was touched that Naruto wanted to start over properly, not just by jumping back into bed together.

It was strange how it felt so natural to be with Naruto. It was as though the three years apart had just been a waiting period. Being with Naruto felt like talking to an old friend that had been abroad for a long time, but whom finally was back. They knew each other so well that it barely took any effort to grow back together again.

“Where do you want to go, then?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto grinned. “That’s a secret. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven.”

“What should I wear?”

“Hm… Dress up, but not as much as this.” He gestured towards Sasuke’s elegant, though a little rumpled, black suit.

Sasuke leaned over and gave Naruto a lingering kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Naruto pulled him back when he tried to move away, and deepened the kiss. They were both panting when they pulled apart.

“Looking forward to it,” Naruto said with a cocky smile.

Sasuke suppressed the urge to stay and kiss away that smile, and with an effort he closed the door behind him.

 

\-----

 

Naruto couldn’t think of anything else but his date with Sasuke the next day. It was a Sunday, so the restaurants would probably be full. Thankfully, he managed to get a table at a place that Ino recommended. She went out a lot and always knew the best places. She squealed loudly when Naruto called her and told her what happened.

“I told you it would work!"

Naruto could imagine the self-satisfied grin she was wearing. She gave him a long list of good restaurants, and Naruto checked them on his PC while she listed them off.

“Thank you,” he said when he had found one he liked. “For everything. If it hadn’t been for you, we might never have gotten together again.”

“Consider my debt paid,” Ino said. “And remember to tell Sasuke too. I don’t want him to go around holding old grudges.”

Most of the next day passed in an excruciating slow tempo as Naruto waited for evening. Naruto couldn’t remember ever being so early out for something. He was usually the last minute type of person, but today he had showered and dressed and hour before he needed to leave the apartment. When he finally left at half past six, someone called the moment he was on his way out the door. In a moment of terror he expected it to be Sasuke calling off the date, but to his surprise it was Kiba.

“Hi,” Naruto said.

It had been a while since Kiba had taken contact. Naruto had called and dropped by several times, but Kiba always had an excuse to get rid of him. It had been a month since Kiba got so weird, and Naruto had barely seen him at all in that time.

“Are you free tonight?” Kiba asked.

Naruto cursed the fact that Kiba has to call tonight of all nights. There was no way he could cancel with Sasuke.

“I’m sorry, I can’t tonight. I have a date. Can I take a rain check?”

“A date?”

“Yeah…” Naruto wondered whether he should tell Kiba who it was, but then he decided that it was better to just say it now and get it over with. “With Sasuke.”

There was such a long silence on the other end of the line that Naruto wondered if Kiba had hung up. But then he spoke.

“Sasuke?” His voice sounded slightly hoarse.

“Yeah. I know, it’s a bit out of the blue, but we decided to try again, so…”

More silence.

Naruto laughed nervously. This felt a lot like déjà vu.

“Okay, well… I have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow or something?”

“Yeah… Okay, yeah.”

Kiba hung up without saying goodbye.

Naruto couldn’t help but feel worried.

 

\-----

 

The restaurant was quiet and the interior was subdued. It wasn’t an overly expensive place. Naruto knew that Sasuke hated it when he wasted his hard earned money on extravagance just to impress him. Sasuke might have been brought up in constant luxury, but perhaps because of that he really appreciated what was less luxurious.

Sasuke quickly noticed that Naruto wasn’t entirely present. “Is something wrong?” he asked the third time he caught Naruto staring emptily down at his plate.

“Huh? Oh, I just got a phone call right before I left my apartment.”

“Has something happened?”

“No, it was just Kiba. He’s been acting really strange lately.”

Sasuke froze in the middle of a bite, but recovered quickly.

“Today he called me for the first time in weeks,” Naruto continued. “I told him that I was meeting you, and he got so weird. I hope I won’t be getting a repeat performance from ten years ago when I told him we were dating.”

“I seem to have a knack for getting between you two,” Sasuke said.

“He’s the one with the issues,” Naruto said. “I should never have let him get between us.”

“But… Don’t you think he might have changed?”

“I’m not sure. He changed a lot after he broke up with Yuki, but I’m not sure if it’s for the better. He’s been secluding himself a lot. Barely talks to me, or our other friends."

Sasuke looked thoughtfully down at his plate.

“Maybe he’s struggling with something…?” He said slowly.

“Yeah, obviously. He just won’t let me in so I don’t know what it is. I guess it has to do with the break up.” He sighed. “Never mind. I didn’t intend for this to ruin our date. Let’s talk about something else.”

The food was great and the conversation flowed easily. Sasuke was so handsome when he was relaxed and smiling easily, like he did now. Naruto caught himself several times in spacing out while watching him. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Sasuke like this. It seemed to him as though at the end of their relationship, they had barely made each other smile anymore.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Sasuke asked with a soft smile. He touched Naruto’s hand to get his attention.

Naruto blinked.“Nothing,” he smiled. “I’m just so grateful I get to see your smile again.” He clutched Sasuke’s hand.“I promise that from now on, I’ll never keep you from smiling when you’re with me.”

Sasuke snorted. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. You’re gonna make me frown again in no time.”

He lifted Sasuke’s hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles. “Then I’ll make sure you don’t frown for too long.”

Sasuke laughed. “C’mere.”

Naruto leaned over the table and kissed Sasuke.

After Naruto had paid for their meal, they walked back to the car hand in hand.

Naruto drove Sasuke back to his apartment, but when they arrived, Sasuke asked him to just stop outside the main entrance. Naruto frowned. It was not allowed to park there, which meant Sasuke didn’t want him to come up.

“I don’t put out on the first date,” Sasuke said with a mock innocent smile.

Naruto snort-laughed. He pulled Sasuke close and murmured in his ear, “Baby, you already put out.”

Sasuke put a hand on his chest and pushed him away. “This is still a first date. I like to keep the relationship a bit… interesting.”

Naruto pouted. “After this amazing date I took you on, you won’t even have sex with me?”

Sasuke cocked one eyebrow. “So that’s how you expected me to pay for myself?” He got out of the car and slammed the door shut. Naruto got out too, and hurried around the car.

“Babe,” he started, but was cut off when Sasuke pressed one finger to his lips.

“I’ll pay for the next date,” Sasuke said, “and maybe, if you’re a good boy, I’ll give you a reward.” Then he walked away.

“I think you’ve been hanging with that dog for too long,” Naruto called after Sasuke with a small chuckle.

Sasuke flipped him off without even looking over his shoulder.

Naruto huffed as he got back into the car. He’d really worked himself up with the expectation of sex. His cock lay pressed up against his pelvis, rock hard. He adjusted it with a small hiss before he drove away. Though it could be frustrating, this was also one of the things he loved about being with Sasuke. He always kept Naruto on his toes.

 

\-----

 

It had been two days since the date, but Sasuke hadn’t contacted Naruto yet. He wanted to let him stew for a bit. He was just as eager to have sex as Naruto was, but he had a feeling that it was crucial to hold back a bit. After everything they’d been through, letting their dicks decide the next plan of action was not a good idea. He was surprised Naruto hadn’t contacted him yet, but he hoped it meant that he had enough presence of mind to see that fucking their way into a new relationship was not the way to go.

Sasuke got off work at a quarter past four, and took the tube home. He stopped at a grocery store on the way. He felt exhausted and the need to call Naruto just increased. How nice wouldn’t it be to just unwind in Naruto’s arms? But he was determined to take him out on another date first.

Maybe he should give him a call today.

He took the elevator up to his apartment, but stopped dead the second he stepped out on his floor. There was a man leaning against the door to his apartment; a certain someone that he knew a little too well. Kiba looked up from underneath his fake-fur edged hood, looking like some kind of feral being.

“What are you doing here?” Sasuke asked coolly.

His heart was somersaulting in his chest at the thought that Naruto could have been with him. If he’d seen Kiba sitting there…

Kiba pushed back the hood. “I need to talk to you.”

Sasuke sighed. He supposed he had no choice. He unlocked the door. Kiba stood and for a moment he was standing so close that Sasuke could swear he felt his breath on his neck.

He opened the door and greeted Jin. Jin happily licked Kiba’s hands and looked at him adoringly when he scratched the scruff of his neck.

“What did you want?” Sasuke said as he walked into the kitchen, depositing the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter.

Kiba didn’t take off his shoes or jacket. He hovered in the hallway.

“I’m gonna tell him,” he said.

Sasuke felt a cold chill run down his spine.

“About… You know,” Kiba continued. “It’s been eating me up ever since it happened. I just wanted to talk to you first. I won’t tell him about us if you don’t want to, but… I feel like it would be the right thing to do.”

Sasuke abandoned his groceries and went over to Kiba.

“I guess you’re right,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to tell him, but I didn’t want to ruin things for you.”

Kiba watched Sasuke with a strangely open expression. “I was wrong about you,” Kiba said softly. “I used to think that you were a cold, unfeeling person, and that I was justified in not liking you. Then I started fearing that you had just been waiting to ensnare me with your good looks and was looking for a chance to use it against me.” He took a shaky breath and glanced down at the floor.

Jin sat between them, wagging his tail and looking from one to the other, waiting for someone to pay attention to him. Kiba scratched the side of his nose.

“The truth is that I was wrong on both accounts. You’re a great person, Sasuke. You could easily have used what happened between us against me. You could have ruined me. Any other person would have done that. Any other person would have made me suffer as much as possible after what I did to you. But you didn’t. You haven’t even seemed to consider it.”

Sasuke just stared at Kiba. Out of all things, this was the last thing he expected to hear from him.

Kiba sighed. He still didn’t meet Sasuke’s eyes. “The truth is that I was attracted to you. I’m so embarrassed of how I acted. I was angry with you for making me feel that way, and at the same time I denied feeling that way. After Yuki ended it, I had to admit to myself that perhaps… I could be bi. I started going to gay bars just to check if I felt that way for other men.”

“And did you?”

Kiba snorted. “No. It was only you.”

Listening to the things Kiba said was difficult. It was strange to know he had been feeling that way all that time…

“I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” Kiba said, and the honest regret in his voice appeased Sasuke a bit. “It was so shitty of me. I didn’t realize why I was doing it at that point, but that’s no excuse.” Kiba took a deep breath.

Sasuke didn’t know what to say.

Kiba shuffled his feet. “Well, that’s what I came here to say, so…” He turned and walked towards the door, but he stopped with one hand on the door handle. “I’ll make sure Naruto doesn’t blame you,” he said. “He can direct his anger at me.” Then he twisted the handle.

“Kiba… Wait…” Sasuke walked closer to Kiba. He reached out and touched his arm. “Thanks,” he said.

A small smile barely curled the corner of Kiba’s mouth. “It’s the least I could do.”

 

\-----

 

Naruto and Sasuke’s second date was at the cinema, watching a movie they were only partly interested in, making out in the back row like teenagers. Sasuke had intended to take Naruto to a restaurant afterwards, but he was nervous about Kiba’s revelation and how it would affect him, and all he could think of was how he wanted to spend this time as close to Naruto as possible.

They went back to Sasuke’s apartment this time, and Sasuke pushed Naruto down on the bed and rode him desperately until they both forgot about everything else but the immediate pleasure. Naruto fell asleep immediately afterwards, but Sasuke remained awake for hours, just lying there in the darkness, staring at Naruto’s barely visible profile and wondering if this was their last time together.

 

\----

 

It happened two days later.

Sasuke had just gotten off work and was perusing the sad contents of his fridge while wondering if he should just order in, when Naruto called.

“Is it true?” Naruto asked without preamble. His voice was insisted and he was out of breath as though he’d been running. “What Kiba said,” he continued. “Is it true?”

Sasuke felt his chest constrict. “Yes,” he said tonelessly.

“Shit,” Naruto groaned. He became quiet for so long that Sasuke started worrying.

“Naruto…” He wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t know what Kiba had told Naruto.

“I just…” Naruto cut him off. “I need some time to digest this.” Then he hung up.

 

\-----

 

Sasuke watched his phone 24/7 for the next few days. He couldn’t believe that it was possible to have such bad luck. Just a month before he got together with Naruto again, he had made out with his best friend. He hoped that Naruto was mostly struggling with Kiba’s side of the story. After all, Sasuke hadn’t been in a relationship with Naruto at that point; hadn’t even thought it possible.

But that didn’t mean he was out of the woods. He knew how it would look to others.

What reason did he have for making out with Naruto’s friend, a person that everyone knew he disliked, unless it was to get back at Naruto? The thought of what Naruto’s friends must be thinking of him now made him sick.

The more days that passed, the worse he felt. He stared at his phone, willing it to make a sound, but each time it did he was disappointed when he saw that it was only Itachi or his friends. He confided his fears to Itachi, who immediately came over with a bottle of wine and comforting words.

“If he really loves you, he’ll forgive you for it.”

“I can’t believe I fucked everything up on a whim like that,” Sasuke groaned.

“How could you know that you’d get a chance to get back with him at that point? What happened happened. Now all you can do is hope that Naruto is sensible enough to see past it.”

 

\-----

 

Naruto called the next day.

For a long moment he didn’t say anything.

Sasuke didn’t speak either. He didn’t know what to say.

Then Naruto took a deep breath. “I’m sorry it took so long before I took contact.”

Sasuke was practically holding his breath in anticipation of Naruto’s next words.

“I’ve only heard Kiba’s side of it, but he insists that it’s all on him.”

Sasuke released a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Naruto said. He sounded appalled. “I don’t decide who you get to fool around with. To be honest, I totally understand that you’d want to get back at me.”

“I didn’t do it to hurt you,” Sasuke said. “He just reminded me so much of you…”

He let the sentence die off. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to say that.

It took a moment before Naruto spoke, but when he did his voice sounded a little thick.

“I just need to see you right now. Can I come over?”

Sasuke felt almost shaky with relief.

“Yeah.”


	14. Full Circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by heartsns ^^

Sasuke hurried to take a shower and put on some casually sexy clothes; a pair of pants that accentuated his ass, and a boat neck shirt that showed off his collarbones. He felt a bit nervous as he blow dried his hair into soft fluffiness and tamed it with some oil.

While he waited for Naruto to arrive, he started tidying up his already nearly spotless apartment. By the time Naruto arrived, no more than half an hour had passed, but it felt like hours.

He stood indecisively by the door, wondering how he should greet Naruto. Then he berated himself for wondering about something so stupid. It hardly mattered… Right? In the end he decided to unlock the apartment door and sit down on the couch, trying to make it look like he was calm and relaxed and had been reading this whole time.

Naruto closed the door quietly behind himself and left his soaked jacket and sneakers in the hallway.

Sasuke couldn’t hide his surprise at seeing him completely soaked through, his hair plastered to his head.

“I took the tube,” Naruto explained. “Forgot an umbrella.”

“Naruto…”

Sasuke didn’t get to say anything else because Naruto kneeled on the floor before him, supposedly to spare the couch from his wet clothes, and pulled Sasuke into a gentle kiss.

Sasuke closed his eyes and relished in the sweet, subtle taste of Naruto’s lips.

“I would never blame you for this,” Naruto whispered against his lips. He kissed Sasuke again, deeper. “I made you worry unnecessarily,” he continued. “I was just so shocked by everything Kiba told me…”

This time it was Sasuke who moved in for the kiss, silencing Naruto.

“You don’t need to explain,” he murmured as they pulled apart one hairs breadth.

Naruto kissed Sasuke more insistently. He grabbed his hips and pulled him closer. Sasuke’s legs parted for him, closing around his hips.

He didn’t care that his own clothes got drenched by Naruto’s rain soaked ones.

He just pushed closer.

Naruto pulled away. “Wait,” he said. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Sasuke kissed his jaw. “It can wait,” he murmured.

Naruto protested weakly, but Sasuke kissed him deeply, and Naruto finally relaxed.

He climbed onto the couch, and Sasuke laid down on his back so that Naruto could lean over him. Naruto settled one thigh between Sasuke’s parted legs, applying exactly the right amount of pressure to make Sasuke arch back with a gasp. Naruto used the opportunity to take control of the kiss. He grabbed Sasuke’s thigh and pushed it up, hooking it over his hip, rolling down against Sasuke’s cock.

Sasuke’s lips parted in another breathy gasp. Naruto deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding along Sasuke’s, leaving a subtle taste of alcohol.

Sasuke fumbled with the front of his pants until he had opened them and could pull out his cock. Naruto took over immediately, his wide palm swallowing Sasuke’s cock, his thumb gently circling the head and smearing it with precum.

Sasuke’s toes curled and his thighs tensed, pressing Naruto closer. He opened Naruto’s pants and fished out his cock, letting the weight of it rest in his palm. With Sasuke’s fingers encircling it, it was soon rock hard in his grip. Sasuke gathered both of their cocks in his hands and jerked them off with both hands, using precum to make the slide slicker. Naruto leant down and captured Sasuke’s lips in a hungry kiss, groaning softly as Sasuke’s deft fingers pressed and squeezed and caressed in exactly the right way.

His free hand flitted down along Sasuke’s body, cupping his ass and pushing him closer, for a moment trapping their cocks between their stomachs. He pushed Sasuke’s pants down  enough to slide one of his fingers in between Sasuke’s ass cheeks and caress his asshole.

Sasuke gasped. His hand staggered around their cocks, squeezing a bit too tight. Naruto made a sound that was halfway between a hiss and a growl. His finger circled Sasuke’s asshole, almost dipping in but not quite.

Sasuke felt his body seize up almost without warning. Suddenly the tight coil of hot desire within him unleashed and tingly warmth flooded through him. He panted harshly, a soft moan escaping him as his back arched in a perfect bow, pressing their cocks hard up against Naruto’s stomach. Naruto ground down atop him, he too coming with a desperate moan.

They collapsed in a heap of wet clothes and shaky limbs.

Sasuke could do nothing but try to catch his breath while Naruto weighted down on him like a sack of potatoes.

Finally, when Sasuke was about to nudge Naruto to make him react, he lifted himself up and slid to the side.

For a long moment they just stared at each other, both still a bit out of breath.

Naruto smiled carefully. “Wanna take a shower?”

“If you carry me.”

Naruto chuckled. He got up, slid both arms under Sasuke, and heaved him into his arms, carrying him bridal style. Sasuke clutched Naruto’s neck, barely holding back an undignified squeak.

“I was just kidding,” he said.

Naruto grinned. “Let’s pretend I believe that.”

 

\-----

 

They were lying in Sasuke’s bed, warm from the shower. Naruto was wearing a shirt that he borrowed from Sasuke. 

Sasuke was about to fall asleep when he felt Naruto move closer.

“Sasuke? Are you asleep?”

“…No,” Sasuke reluctantly answered. He considered faking it, but there was something urgent in Naruto’s voice.

Naruto sat up. “I wanted to tell you before, but… Anyway... It doesn’t feel right to keep it secret, not after...” He trailed off. Then he took a deep breath and Sasuke had a sudden need to make him stop talking. But he didn’t, paralyzed by a morbid need to know.  

“While we were still dating… right before we broke up, actually, I… I kissed Sakura.” Naruto kneeled with eyes downcast, as though he was expecting punishment.

“You…” Sasuke couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He sat up too. “You kissed _her_? The person you know I trusted the least?”

“We were drunk,” Naruto said, “and it didn’t mean anything, we were just…” He put one hand to his forehead. “I’m sorry… I didn’t dare tell you back then because I knew it would give you just another reason to distrust my friends.”

Sasuke tried to calm himself… Deep breaths. It was just a kiss. And yet, he couldn’t help the volcanic anger that pushed upwards.

Naruto couldn’t help himself. He kept talking. “We were at a party, and we were arguing about who was the best kisser, and then… then it just happened. Ino even filmed it. It didn’t last for more than a couple of seconds.”

“I bet your friends approved of it,” Sasuke said calmly. His voice sounded detached.

“They did,” Naruto reluctantly admitted. “But that was back then.”

Sasuke couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss.

“Why did you have to do that?” he said. “Why her?”

Naruto looked broken. “I don’t know. She’s a really good friend, and feelings got blurred… I… uh… I actually dated her for a year. We broke up a month ago.”

A month ago?

His conversation with Sakura suddenly came back to him very clearly. Had she just broke up with Naruto when she spoke to Sasuke? Or had she been planning to?

“We’re still friends, though,” Naruto added. “Friends only. We found out that we were better that way. Or, she found out first, then she broke up with me…” Naruto’s chatter trailed off.

“Please, say something,” he whispered.

Sasuke took a deep breath.

Then he got to his feet. He went into the living room and opened a window. He needed some fresh air. He needed to cool down, to look at this objectively.

Shit.

All he could think of was Naruto making out with Sakura, and it was driving him mad. He tried to reason that he had kissed Kiba, and Naruto had forgave him, but for fucks sake, they hadn’t even been dating then, while they actually had been dating when Naruto kissed Sakura!

He had to give Naruto credit for admitting that. He could easily have twisted the truth and say that he had kissed Sakura after they had broken up.

Fuck. And here he was supposed to do his best to accept Naruto’s friends while all he could do now was remember how much they’d wanted to get rid of him.

He was glad Naruto didn’t come and try to talk to him.

He wasn’t sure what he’d do or say if he did.

Jin came over and nudged Sasuke’s thigh with his nose.Sasuke sat down and patted him. “What do you think?” he whispered to make sure Naruto didn’t overhear. Jin licked Sasuke’s cheek and wagged his tail.

“You would have forgiven, wouldn’t you? I know you would. You’d forgive anything.” He rubbed Jin’s soft ears. “Just like Naruto. He forgives so easily. But me… I’m not like that. I never forget a slight.”

He pressed his face into Jin’s soft fur.

“Am I gonna throw away a relationship with him just because I can’t forgive one small mistake? That would be stupid, wouldn’t it?” He didn’t need anyone to answer that. He knew it would be stupid. Naruto was thoughtless, for sure. He was impulsive and passionate and needy. He was everything Sasuke never thought he’d cope with… and yet, he found that Naruto and everything about him was as vital to him as air or water.

He got up, hesitated for a bit, then he strode into the bedroom where Naruto was sitting just where he left him, looking like a kicked puppy.

“You’re an idiot,” Sasuke said with feeling.

“I know,” Naruto said.

“How can I trust you not to do something like that again?”

Naruto’s eyes looked moist, like he was about to cry. Sasuke really had to steel himself.

“I won’t,” Naruto said. “I promise. In all our seven years together, it was only that one time. I’ve never done anything like that before, and I’m never gonna do it again. I don’t want to hurt you…"

Sasuke felt the anger he had tried to hold onto melt away like a slab of ice in the glare of the sun. He hurried over to the bed so that he could kiss Naruto and stop the words spilling from him.

“I believe you,” he said into the kiss. “I believe you.”

Naruto clutched him tight. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Sasuke just kissed him harder. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

 

\-----

 

Naruto didn’t talk to Kiba for months. Few knew why the two friends suddenly weren’t on speaking terms, and neither of the two was very forthcoming about it. Eventually they couldn’t avoid each other anymore, though, seeing as they hung out with the same friends. Kiba came out to the others too, and their friends assumedthat the fact that he had hidden it from Naruto all this time was what had created the rift. They hoped that the two eventually would go back to being friends again, and they were right. 

Naruto couldn’t stay mad at Kiba for long.They’d been friends for a long time and they’d weathered a lot of storms together. Like family, they meant too much to each other to bear grudges.

The biggest change that their other friends noted, though, was how Kiba acted towards Sasuke. Jibes still flew between the two of them, like they’d always done, but there was less poison behind each sting, and more humor.

All in all, their little group seemed to have grown closer as a result of Naruto’s rekindled relationship with Sasuke, rather than being split apart as the result had been before. Sasuke noticed that Naruto’s friends had changed their attitude towards him. They were more welcoming, and made an actual effort to involve him. Sasuke made an effort to be friendlier towards them too, and he found that, although he was very different from them, it wasn’t completely impossible for him to like them.

Especially not when Ino came over to him and apologized for years worth of resentment, and Shikamaru and Choji apologized for having judged him too soon. Because Naruto wasn’t so afraid of PDA anymore, the others could now see that Sasuke and Naruto’s relationship was more than a shell. Naruto would kiss Sasuke whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted, and none of his friends could care less. Seeing that they accepted him completely made Naruto more self-confident and relaxed, and finally Sasuke felt that he could be a real part of Naruto’s life.

 

\-----

 

The in-laws were a different story, but Sasuke found that even Kushina, who’d always been very protective of her precious little baby, and had always been skeptical towards Sasuke, even she had changed her views. 

Sasuke and Naruto invited Naruto’s parents to dinner not so long after they got back together again.

Naruto’s apartment was so small that they decided to invite them to Sasuke’s apartment instead. Most of Naruto’s clothes were already there anyway, as well as his cat, so he could basically just admit that he’d moved in there, but he liked to know that he had his own place so that he didn’t have to feel like he was living off Sasuke’s charity.

Minato and Kushina were unusually polite. Not that they weren’t always polite, but now it was almost a bit exaggerated. They complimented Sasuke on his apartment and the view and the piano and the food and everything else they could think of, and they tried really hard to keep a conversation going that involved him. Sasuke was touched at their consideration, but he wasn’t entirely sure how it had come about. Were they really so grateful that Naruto had gotten back together with him?

After dinner, Kushina told Naruto to sit down while she helped Sasuke clear away the dishes. The reason for this became apparent once she was alone with him in the kitchen.

“I’m glad you two found your way back together,” she said. “I don’t think I realized just how important you were for each other until you broke up.”

“Seven years didn’t convince you?” Sasuke said a tad coldly.

“Listen… I know we never got along well. But I only ever wanted what was best for my baby, and…” She shrugged. “To be honest, we were just waiting for you to decide you were tired of Naruto and leave him.”

He gave her a cold glare.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Kushina sighed. She was one of the few people whom the Uchiha glare didn’t work on, and Sasuke had to admit he respected her for that. “Naruto is a sweet and slightly naïve boy. You seem like a person who’s got it all together. I never stopped fearing that you were simply playing with Naruto, and the longer you stayed together, the worse the repercussions would get if you decided to leave.”

“You were wrong about that,” Sasuke said. “He’s the one who left me.”

She nodded. “I have to admit that it shocked me. I thought he really loved you.”

Sasuke turned away.

“It turns out he did, though,” Kushina said softly. “He loved you so much that breaking up with you nearly ruined him.”

Sasuke didn’t know what to say to that.

Kushina carefully touched his elbow. “I made a mistake distrusting you,” she said. “And I want to make it up to you. From now on I’ll trust that you’ll do what is best for Naruto. I entrust his wellbeing to you.”

Sasuke knew how much that meant, coming from her. Naruto’s wellbeing meant everything to her.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“No,” she said, smiling. “Thank you for being there for him.”

 

\-----

 

Naruto eventually agreed to move into Sasuke’s apartment, giving up his idealized idea about economical independence. He’d known it would happen eventually. It went without saying that Naruto’s apartment was too small for the two of them and their animals, and since it was unnecessary to pay rent on two apartments, there was no question about which apartment had to go. 

Maybe they would move again later, but for the time being they were both too comfortable in Sasuke’s apartment to even think about it.

Sasuke helped Naruto move out. It took more time than they had anticipated, so they ordered in and spent the night in Naruto’s bed, which was one of the few pieces of furniture still left in the apartment.

The next morning, Sasuke was sitting on the couch, legs folded underneath him, sipping coffee and reading the paper while Naruto was in the shower, when there was a jiggle of keys from the door.

The door opened and in came… Sakura.

“Naruto?” She called. She hadn’t seen Sasuke yet. “I’m just coming to get the last of my stuff. I think my hairdryer must be…”

She stopped dead in the doorway when she saw Sasuke sitting on the couch.

For a long moment they just stared at each other.

Then Naruto showed up in the doorway to the bedroom wearing only sweatpants, water dripping from his hair and onto his shoulders.

“Sakura!” He sounded slightly panicked. “Hi! Uh…” He exchanged a quick glance with Sasuke.

Sakura raised both hands with her palms facing them.“Shit, I’m sorry about just barging in, but I thought…  You said I had some stuff here, and I sent a message…”

“I saw it just now,” Naruto said.

“Well, I’m not gonna disturb you. I’m just gonna get my stuff and leave the key, then I’ll be out of here.”

“Don’t you want to stay for coffee?” Naruto said. “It’s freshly brewed.”

Sakura hesitated. She glanced at Sasuke.

“I don’t know,” she said and looked at her wristwatch. “I have to be… somewhere…”

Naruto snorted. “It’s a Sunday morning, so you’ve got to find a better excuse than that.”

“Please stay,” Sasuke said, surprising all three of them. He shifted to make room for Sakura.

Sakura hesitated for a moment before finally deciding to sit down. She shrugged off her jacket.

“Well, okay. But I can’t stay for long.”

“Sure,” Naruto said. “I’m getting you some coffee.”

Sasuke and Sakura exchanged awkward glances after Naruto disappeared into the kitchen.

Sasuke found that he wasn’t as angry with her as he had anticipated. For perhaps the first time since he met her back in college, Sasuke felt like he really saw her for who she was. He realized that he hadn’t bothered to really look at her after that. He’d thought he had her figured out, but the truth was that he’d never bothered to get to know her.

She had said that she had been in love with him. It was perhaps a strange thing to say, but also brave. She had seemed to honestly want Sasuke’s approval, even though they had thought that they never would see each other again at the time.

Though… Sakura had spoken to Sasuke right before or after she broke up with Naruto, so… Did that mean she had been trying to mend things in the hopes that Sasuke and Naruto would get back together?

“I know seeing me is probably the last thing you want now,” Sakura said. “I’ll leave if you want me to…”

“I told you to stay, didn’t I?”

She smiled. “So you forgive me, then?”

“For what?”

“Um… For sleeping with your man?”

Sasuke swallowed down the small sting of jealousy. “We weren’t dating, so I don’t really have any say in the matter.”

Sakura hesitated. She looked like she wanted to say something, but seemed uncertain how to. Sasuke had a feeling he knew what she was thinking.

“I know about the kiss,” he said. “It’s in the past, so let’s forget about it.”

“If you want me to stay away, I’ll respect that,” Sakura said in a small voice. She looked like it would break her if Sasuke actually told her to stay away. It would mean keeping her away from one of her best friends.

“No,” Sasuke said. “Don’t. I’ve been keeping you away all this time, and it didn’t end well. Besides, Naruto needs you.”

Sakura rubbed the corner of her eye. It looked suspiciously like she was drying away a tear.

“Thanks,” she said, smiling. “You really have changed.”

Sasuke didn’t ask her to elaborate.

 

\-----

 

Jin and Bas went together surprisingly well. Bas was an old veteran who’d met his share of dogs before, so he barely cared about Jin at all. Jin, on the other hand, was ecstatic about getting a potential playmate. He leapt around Bas, his tail held high and his brown eyes playful and curious. It took only one well-aimed slash of Bas’ paw to teach him to calm down a bit. After that they were thick as thieves. 

Sasuke watched how ecstatic Naruto was around Jin, and he regretted never having given him the chance to try having a dog of his own. Granted, it was like taking care of two kids instead of one, but just seeing the happiness on Naruto’s face as he threw sticks and joked around with Jin more than made up for it. The dog seemed just as happy. Naruto went running with Jin more tirelessly than Sasuke ever could have.

“Now I regret keeping us from getting a dog,” Sasuke said one day as Naruto was playing with Jin on the floor, trying to steal a chew toy from him.

Naruto turned with a big smile, and Jin ran off with the toy.

Sasuke was watering the plants. “You two obviously were made to be,” he added.

“Awww.” Naruto got up and hugged Sasuke from behind, so that he sloshed some of the water onto the floor.“Hey…” Naruto nuzzled Sasuke’s shoulder. “Hey, there’s one other thing that was meant to be.”

“Really?” He had a bad feeling about this…

“Yeah… Me and ramen.”

He heard the hopefulness in Naruto’s voice.

“I know you think it’s unhealthy,” Naruto hurried to add, “but-“

“Sure,” Sasuke said.

“Huh?”

“Let’s order ramen.”

“… For real?”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like making dinner anyway.”

Naruto squeezed Sasuke tighter. “Yess!” He bounded over to Jin and tried to fetch the toy from him. Jin loped happily away.

Sasuke watched them with a fond smile on his face.

He really was babysitting two kids at times. But that also meant he had to be patient with them. He watched Naruto’s bright grin and remembered what Naruto had said at their first date after they got back together. That he felt responsible for making sure Sasuke was happy and smiling. Sasuke realized that it went both ways. He never again wanted to see Naruto as dejected and withdrawn as he’d been in the last year before their break up. He was also responsible for making sure that Naruto was happy in their relationship.

He put down the watering can and called out to Naruto.

“Hey!”

He had used the moment of distraction when Naruto turned towards him to snatch the chew toy from him and make a run for it. Naruto’s laughter followed him.

“Oh, you’re asking for it! Let’s get him, Jin!”

They caught up to Sasuke in the bedroom, where Naruto tackled him onto the bed, and both he and Jin piled up on him. Sasuke was laughing the entire time, as was Naruto.

“Surrender!” Naruto said.

Sasuke held the toy high over his head, trying to keep it out of range from Naruto’s hand. Jin got hold of it instead and started tugging on it. When Naruto launched into a tickle attack, Sasuke finally had to give up.

“Okay, okay!” he cried, trying to wriggle out of Naruto’s grip. “I surrender!”

“Give up the toy!”

Sasuke let go of it, and Jin loped happily off the bed and started gnawing on it.

Naruto didn’t let go of Sasuke, though. He grinned down at him. Sometimes he seemed to encompass the whole sun in his smile.

“What?” Naruto asked. “What’s that look?”

“I’m just bedazzled by your smile,” Sasuke said, biting his lip to keep from smiling, though he couldn’t stop it.

Naruto laughed.

 

\-----

 

“We should have a housewarming party,” Naruto said one evening. They were lying on the couch, Sasuke with his head on Naruto’s stomach, reading a book. Naruto was checking his phone.

“Why?” Sasuke said.

“Because we moved in together?”

“Usually, you have a housewarming party when you move into a new place.”

“Well, I did move into a new place.”

Sasuke hesitated for a very long moment before he finally put down his book.

“What kind of party did you have in mind?”

Naruto was happy that Sasuke was showing some interest. He had feared that he would shoot down the suggestion immediately.

“Just our close friends. Are you aware that my friends and your friends barely have met?”

Sasuke thought about that for a while. “You’re right. We did lead almost separate social lives.”

“Wouldn’t it be great to let them get to know each other better? Then we could hang out more together!”

Sasuke lifted one arm and caressed the back of Naruto’s neck. “That’s not a completely stupid idea.”

Naruto grinned. “Is that a yes to the party?”

Sasuke sighed. He couldn’t believe he was saying this. “It is.”

 

\-----

 

Sasuke didn’t like parties. He didn’t like the drunken ravings and the clinginess and the loud voices and the bursts of misplaced honesty. He didn’t like the crowd or the mess they left behind either. If he was at someone else’s party, then at least he could leave when he wanted to. He couldn’t do that now 

Yet, he didn’t feel as uncomfortable as he had feared he would. People weren’t getting unreasonably drunk. Overall, everyone was pretty calm, and the conversations flowed freely. At the moment, Karin was in a heated argument with Neji and Ino, while Juugo and Suigetsu was in deep conversation with Shikamaru and Choji. By the piano, Lee and Sakura were engrossed in a private conversation. Naruto was talking to Kiba and Shino. He and Kiba behaved like nothing had happened between them, but it didn’t seem like an act. Naruto had never been good at acting anyway.

Jin was having the time of his life, curled up on the couch between Ino and Shikamaru, while Bas was hidden somewhere in the apartment, probably in the towel shelf in the bathroom, biding his time until there was less people around.

Sasuke retreated to the kitchen for a small breather and to restock people’s drinks, and Naruto followed him. He embraced him from behind and nuzzled the back of his neck.

“Are you having a good time?” he asked.

Sasuke popped the cap on a bottle of beer. “I have to admit, this isn’t bad for a party.”

Naruto turned him around and stepped in between his legs so that Sasuke was pressed against the kitchen counter. He was grinning as he kissed him.

“Thank you,” he murmured against Sasuke’s lips.

Sasuke put his arms around Naruto’s neck, pulling him closer. “You don’t need to thank me,” he whispered. “It was a good idea.”

Naruto pulled back so that Sasuke could see the giant grin on his face and the tears in his eyes.

“Don’t start bawling,” Sasuke warned.

Naruto chuckled. He gave Sasuke a quick peck on the lips, before moving away to get some snacks from the cupboard.

Sasuke felt someone come over and stand next to him.

“What’re you ladies cooking up?” Kiba said.

Naruto elbowed him in the stomach.“Shut it, dogbreath.”

“Here,” Sasuke said and handed Kiba an opened bottle of beer. “Take some of your macho dishwater and get out.”

Kiba did.

Sasuke was busy collecting the rest of the beer bottles and didn’t notice Naruto’s gaze on him before he looked up at him.

“What?” he asked.

Naruto looked like he’d woken up from deep thoughts.

“Huh?”

“You were thinking really hard about something. Try not to hurt yourself.”

“Ha ha,” Naruto said and rolled his eyes. Then he hesitated for a moment before adding, “I was just thinking…” His voice lowered a bit. “Do you ever think about, you know… What happened between you and Kiba?”

Sasuke felt a small jolt run though him, as though someone had given him a slightly painful stab of electricity.He put the bottles back down.

“I can’t help but think about it sometimes,” he admitted. “But it’s mostly because I’m wondering how much he remembers of it… and whether he thinks about the same thing. It’s disconcerting, having given something like that to someone I don’t trust entirely.”

“I didn’t think it would bother me so much, but each time I see him close to you I’m reminded of it, and I wonder if you feel attracted to him…”

“I don’t,” Sasuke said firmly. “I don’t know what came over me that time, but it was a one-time thing.”

Naruto studied Sasuke’s face intently, as though looking for verification in his eyes, and his eyes softened when he saw the honesty there.

Suddenly he swooped in and kissed Sasuke.

Sasuke held him close.

He knew that Naruto wasn’t the jealous kind, and he was grateful for that.

“Do you… Do you feel the same way about me and Sakura?” Naruto asked carefully.

Sasuke thought about it. Sakura was so adamant about making it obvious there was nothing between them that it had appeased any doubts that he still harbored.

“Not anymore,” he admitted.

Naruto sighed. “Good.”

As Naruto pulled back, he surprised Sasuke by saying, “But if Kiba ever tries anything, I’ll break his jaw.”

Sasuke rubbed one thumb over a scarred cheek. “You don’t have to because I’ll punch him first.”

“I heard that,” said a voice from behind Sasuke.

They both turned comically fast. Kiba was standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Listen,” Kiba said, “let’s get this out of the world once and for all. No offence, Sasuke, but not everyone is on their knees for you like loverboy here. I was curious and I have to admit that you are attractive, but that kiss was what I needed to get whatever I felt for you out of my system. I’m not gonna get between the two of you. I can see that you’re made for each other and no way am I gonna to ruin that again.”

Naruto was tearing up again, though he tried to hide it.

“C’mere,” Kiba said and opened one arm.

Naruto moved over to him and gave him a tight, one-armed hug.

“Nothing screams straight boys more than a one-armed hug,” Sasuke commented dryly.

Kiba took the sarcasm to heart and enveloped Naruto in a proper hug.

Sasuke almost shed a tear. Almost.

Once Naruto and Kiba were done with their little moment, the three of them returned to the others with snacks and drinks, which was consumed almost before it hit the table. Time passed quickly, but no one wanted to leave because they were having such a good time.

It was almost like being teens again and not having anything to do or anywhere to be the next day, so they could just do whatever they wanted and party how long they wanted.

Sasuke wasn’t entirely sure when he and Naruto started making out like horny teenagers, but suddenly they started getting catcalls and people were telling them to get a room, and Sasuke was so delightfully buzzed that he didn’t even care that Naruto’s hands were getting increasingly frisky.

“I suppose it’s about time we left since it seems our hosts have other things on their mind,” Ino said with a laugh. She stood, but then she swayed and sat down again. “I just need a moment.”

The rest of their friends started getting ready to go too. Some of them lived in walking distance, while others opted for calling a taxi.

They all got up and Sasuke and Naruto followed them to the door.

There were hugs and kisses and goodbyes, and Karin slapped Sasuke’s ass and said, “Go get’em,” before she darted out of Sasuke’s reach.

Sasuke leaned into Naruto once their guests had left.

“Thank god we finally got rid of them.”

“You don’t honestly think it was that bad?”

Sasuke sighed. “No. It was fun, actually.”

Naruto grinned.Then his eyelids fluttered as Sasuke placed a firm hand over his cock.

“Wanna take it to the bedroom?” Sasuke said.

Naruto chuckled. “You’re such a horny drunk.”

Sasuke squeezed Naruto’s cock, and Naruto moaned softly.

“Don’t try to tell me you don’t like it,” Sasuke said.

Naruto smirked. “Oh, I definitely like it.”

Jin wanted to join them in the bedroom, but Sasuke placed a chair in front of the door so he wouldn’t manage to open it. He could have put him in the kennel, but he always made such a ruckus. Jin laid down outside the door and whined a bit, but he calmed down quickly.   

They undressed each other at a mellow pace, kissing every exposed patch of skin and drawing out soft moans.

Sasuke was so ready for Naruto once he finally pushed into him that it felt like everything was finally right in the world. They were perfect like this, just them, entwined together as close as it was possible to get, moving in careful rhythm.

They moved together, quicker and harder, broken moans spilling, until Naruto gasped wetly as he came inside Sasuke, his hips snapping up, burying him to the hilt inside Sasuke’s willing body.

Sasuke arched and gasped for air as Naruto thrust choppily a few more times before stilling. Then Naruto fluidly, at least for someone as buzzed as he was, pulled out and replaced his cock with his fingers, bringing Sasuke over the edge with expert care.

Sasuke garbled something intelligible as he came, clutching Naruto’s head to his chest.

He enjoyed the minutes afterwards while they were lying in each other’s arms, panting, their bodies slowly cooling.Naruto rolled to the side without letting go of Sasuke, holding him tight to his chest the entire time.

Sasuke felt so wonderfully mellow from the orgasm and the alcohol.“I love you,” he murmured.

Naruto buried his face in Sasuke’s hair.

As Sasuke drifted off to sleep, he felt Naruto kiss his hair and then his temple and his forehead, the kisses soft and moist. His voice was a bit husky as he whispered, close to Sasuke’s ear, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! On Valentine's Day no less ^^
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and kudosing <3 <3


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